I know I am a hypacrite .....WARNING! Moment of immaturity!!!
Dude seriously, all I wanted was to get to know the guy. I knew his brother and I thought they were a like. Even though I know that even though they are brothers it doesn't mean anything. But they are from a different culture so I figured he would either be interested in me and want to get to know me or not. I DIDN'T expect him to be more drunk then I was. Yes for once in my life the guy was more drunk then I was....I just thought he was shy but no!!! IT started off we go to his apartment and started to make dinner and played Indain and Israeli dancing movie all night. At first he didn't dance with me and then after a bit he made the effort too but we never talked just smiled and blushed at eachother. At one point we got closer and he started singing in my ear and kissing my neck. I could tell he wanted to really kiss me but I was shy and plus there were people around. Finally his brother and my friend went into to other room to talk and the other two guys went to a different room. He asked me if I wanted to watch a movie. I said sure....we didn't watch the movie. We were cuddling on the couch and he kept looking at me with that look like he wanted to kiss me. I kept feeling shy and looking down. I wasn't drunk. Usaully in these sitiations I would be wasted but this time I just had 2 drinks and told my self no. It didn't help for the fact that it was vodca mixed in red bull. So the combintation of caffine and alchole..well you know. If I was sober I probably would have told him that i really liked him but didn't want to get physical so fast. But the fact of the matter was I still had alchole in my system. I gave in and kissed him. When I kiss a guy it either feels wrong or right. IT felt right. IT felt too right. It felt so right that at first I wouldn't let him feel me up. I didn't want him thinking I was that easy. His friends kept walking into the room and the running away when they saw we were kissing. He didn't seem to care. I asked him if he was reall drunk. He said no and ofcourse at that moment I believed him and countiued kissing him.
I really don't think I was that drunk. I didn't wake up the next morning with the headack and people telling me I put on a whole show that I don't remmeber doing. We eventaully made are way to his bed and made-out some more and then I fell asleep in my arms. He really held me through out the next.If I moved he pulled me closer,held me tighter and even at times held my hand and kept kissing me all over.
At one point in the night I asked myself if I should sleep somewhere else. But I felt safe and it felt okay. I guess my mind was playing tricks on me. But when I think about it doesn't seem like it was.
In the morning it wasn't akward or werid...atleast not for me. He had to do somethings in the morning before shabbat. He kissed me the cheek. Made sure I had enough blaknet and told me to keep sleeping. People were up and about so I couldn't sleep anymore. I went to sit in the living with my friend. I sat there and prepared myself for being ignored. Its not so much that he ignored me but he is in teh army and allways feels stressed out and pressed for time. He patted my head and then when he headed out the door with the guys he stock his out and smilled at me.
Later that day he came back with guys and they did the cooking before shabbat. I tried to act like myself and be helpful. He wasn't mean to me just wasn't sweet to me the night before. IT wasn't till later that night when we started drinking again. Again I had like 2 drinks. He was cuddly with me again. I kept telling myself maybe he is just shy and the alchole opens him up a little bit.
The night was a huge mess. Apprently his roomate is never there for Shabbat because he is not Shomer Shabbat but I guess because he felt since there were girls he had to stay and bring a friend. He kept flirting with on of my friends and it made the other guys unfortable because in India having guests over is a big thing and as were were 3 young ladies they felt resposible of us. They told us if worst comes to worst we all are sleeping in on with the door locked. With my tipysness I kinda gave a sad place and Ori (thats his name) hugged me and said it would be okay.
Just my luck those 2 guys left. We starting kissing again and cuddling and the he started complaining that he was too hot and had a fever. Which he did I felt his forehead and cheeks and they were hot. He told me that he didn't want me to get sick and that I should go sleep in the other roomwith the other girls.
Okay, fine. In the morning I Felt kinda upset. I told him I was going to go to syngaguge with him and the guys I just had to brush my teath. He said ok. Then he left...I can't help but feel self conscious especially since I have been in Israel because American girls have this repuitation of getting drunk and being easy. I thought he might feel like that or the fact that he was in the army and guys in the army are known to be horny and always take the first chance they get.
I was a party booper all day. His brother who is probably one of the best guy friends I will have in this life is senstive towards other people. He knew I was upset and felt bad that he was the one that tried to hook us up. I explained to him what I felt. he told me not to think like that. that they don't think about those typical steriotypes about girls. Then he told his brother to talk to me. See I had tried to talk to him before but the his english has gotten really bad so I would try to talk tohim in hebrew but he was always busy. But he knew I wanted to talk to him and that I was upset and tried really hard to understand me and when he does that most of his english comes back with a mix of hebrew. He told me not to feel used. He explained that he was very drunk and very confused that night and that he had thought about it a lot. Thanks for telling me... He said because of the army he is always stressed out all the time (which his true he is a sargent and only gets 4 hours of sleep each night).
Then he said he wanted to get to know me better and when I move to jeruslem we will hang out more because that is where his base is and how I am always envited over. AND THEN he gave me the "we will be best friends" speech. I told him we don't know eachother to be best friends. I was right he said. So he said then I will get to know you and you will be my best girl. Whatever.
Yesterday morning on the way back to the kibbutz with his brother in the taxi.Ori called his brother to tell himthat he woke up late and was going tobe late for the army. I told him to tell him I said hi. He said hi back. 2 minutes after their phone converstion. He called his brother again to tell me that he wishes me the best. There you have it....another guy added to the list...ugh...
I really don't think I was that drunk. I didn't wake up the next morning with the headack and people telling me I put on a whole show that I don't remmeber doing. We eventaully made are way to his bed and made-out some more and then I fell asleep in my arms. He really held me through out the next.If I moved he pulled me closer,held me tighter and even at times held my hand and kept kissing me all over.
At one point in the night I asked myself if I should sleep somewhere else. But I felt safe and it felt okay. I guess my mind was playing tricks on me. But when I think about it doesn't seem like it was.
In the morning it wasn't akward or werid...atleast not for me. He had to do somethings in the morning before shabbat. He kissed me the cheek. Made sure I had enough blaknet and told me to keep sleeping. People were up and about so I couldn't sleep anymore. I went to sit in the living with my friend. I sat there and prepared myself for being ignored. Its not so much that he ignored me but he is in teh army and allways feels stressed out and pressed for time. He patted my head and then when he headed out the door with the guys he stock his out and smilled at me.
Later that day he came back with guys and they did the cooking before shabbat. I tried to act like myself and be helpful. He wasn't mean to me just wasn't sweet to me the night before. IT wasn't till later that night when we started drinking again. Again I had like 2 drinks. He was cuddly with me again. I kept telling myself maybe he is just shy and the alchole opens him up a little bit.
The night was a huge mess. Apprently his roomate is never there for Shabbat because he is not Shomer Shabbat but I guess because he felt since there were girls he had to stay and bring a friend. He kept flirting with on of my friends and it made the other guys unfortable because in India having guests over is a big thing and as were were 3 young ladies they felt resposible of us. They told us if worst comes to worst we all are sleeping in on with the door locked. With my tipysness I kinda gave a sad place and Ori (thats his name) hugged me and said it would be okay.
Just my luck those 2 guys left. We starting kissing again and cuddling and the he started complaining that he was too hot and had a fever. Which he did I felt his forehead and cheeks and they were hot. He told me that he didn't want me to get sick and that I should go sleep in the other roomwith the other girls.
Okay, fine. In the morning I Felt kinda upset. I told him I was going to go to syngaguge with him and the guys I just had to brush my teath. He said ok. Then he left...I can't help but feel self conscious especially since I have been in Israel because American girls have this repuitation of getting drunk and being easy. I thought he might feel like that or the fact that he was in the army and guys in the army are known to be horny and always take the first chance they get.
I was a party booper all day. His brother who is probably one of the best guy friends I will have in this life is senstive towards other people. He knew I was upset and felt bad that he was the one that tried to hook us up. I explained to him what I felt. he told me not to think like that. that they don't think about those typical steriotypes about girls. Then he told his brother to talk to me. See I had tried to talk to him before but the his english has gotten really bad so I would try to talk tohim in hebrew but he was always busy. But he knew I wanted to talk to him and that I was upset and tried really hard to understand me and when he does that most of his english comes back with a mix of hebrew. He told me not to feel used. He explained that he was very drunk and very confused that night and that he had thought about it a lot. Thanks for telling me... He said because of the army he is always stressed out all the time (which his true he is a sargent and only gets 4 hours of sleep each night).
Then he said he wanted to get to know me better and when I move to jeruslem we will hang out more because that is where his base is and how I am always envited over. AND THEN he gave me the "we will be best friends" speech. I told him we don't know eachother to be best friends. I was right he said. So he said then I will get to know you and you will be my best girl. Whatever.
Yesterday morning on the way back to the kibbutz with his brother in the taxi.Ori called his brother to tell himthat he woke up late and was going tobe late for the army. I told him to tell him I said hi. He said hi back. 2 minutes after their phone converstion. He called his brother again to tell me that he wishes me the best. There you have it....another guy added to the list...ugh...