The Lists
On the streak of editorials for X-Mas, I decided to target my cynicism and "tomahawk" to Santa's list. The Good, The Bad and the....Wait....There is no middle ground! Let's get to the nitty gritty first. First off, since when does Santa get the definitive say on who's Naughty and Nice. Personally, I believe there should be a veto program and court hearings. If I'm on a list I'm entitled to know. Especially if it's on a list where I'm getting fucked in the end. I think if we are on the bad list, we should be given the news weeks in advance, which would give us time to set up a hearing and contact Santa's lawyers. That bastard probably has got Johnny Cocrane working under his belt. But the other question I have is how does one get from one list to the other? Like could a perfectly nice, respectful smart person anally rape my grandmother and still be regarded as a possibility for the Good list? The same in turn for the child rapist who save's a bunch of nuns from a burning building. Does the Naughty and Nice list hold true to criminal records? The thing that most bothers me is how HE get's to decide. It's like the people that work under him don't get say. What if you've helped a few elves in your lifetime, therefore creating a bias within the pre-XMas, communist elf middle caste in your favor? Santa doesn't take this into regard? I believe Santa should rightfully give us the benefit of the doubt unless you and your friends gang beat Ms. Clause with a cane. Cause I mean let's face it, who wants to end up with Reindeer shit come the 25th. Thats right Santa, you best be taking my suggestion on that one chieftain.