(no subject)
every day the air conditioned wind breaks her up in the morning, forces her to recognize where she is, in the dark, in the white-clear morning of her first free season in years. he said seasons change, she said why not me, he said fall down deeper, she said fuck you.
the weeks pass... well, one should say months have gone by quickly and crazily. she has not cried about him since april 30th. the last day she cried, it was for so many things, mostly for missing her friend, partly for her dog's lonely gaze out the window, and a small amount for her not understanding. the last time she cried, she remembered that what she missed was not hers to have, that her dog was not lonely and would love again, and that what she misunderstood was what brought her to crawl under covers on a nightly basis.
security blankets. they move us to find corners of our brain that push out what is not secure. they allow shut downs, shut ins, shut ups. they distract and react the way we like them to.
the weeks pass... well, one should say months have gone by quickly and crazily. she has not cried about him since april 30th. the last day she cried, it was for so many things, mostly for missing her friend, partly for her dog's lonely gaze out the window, and a small amount for her not understanding. the last time she cried, she remembered that what she missed was not hers to have, that her dog was not lonely and would love again, and that what she misunderstood was what brought her to crawl under covers on a nightly basis.
security blankets. they move us to find corners of our brain that push out what is not secure. they allow shut downs, shut ins, shut ups. they distract and react the way we like them to.