The Diary
Title: The Diary
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~8,000
Summary: When Jared’s mom gives him a journal for his senior year, he swears it will be a waste. He has nothing to write down and just wants to get finished with school and move on. A visit from his brother and his new roommate might just change this.
Warnings: Language
Art Masterpost
A/N: Special thanks to bflyw for being so sweet and understanding during all this. And thanks to dopeyangel101 for betaing this for me! This was written for spn-illuminated
At the time I didn’t think it was a big deal. Jeff was coming home, just like he had every Fall break for the last three years. So what if he was bringing his new roommate this time? What did that matter to me? Wasn’t anything to put down in the books, at least I thought it wasn’t at the time. Then I met him. Then it changed, everything changed.
Now, it isn’t like we’ll ever be compared to Romeo and Juliet or anything, although we did have some close calls. But this is real life and I’ll never be some fragile beauty or whatever the hell else they want to label me. I’m just me…
My name is Jared Padalecki, and this is my story about what really happened.
~
"Jared?"
He could hear footsteps coming down the hall. He didn't bother replying. He stayed on his bed, reading his book. He was tempted to grab his iPod so he would have an excuse for not answering. The door opened before he could, revealing a very frustrated looking Sherry Padalecki.
"Yeah mom?" he asked calmly, annoying her all the more.
"Want to explain to me why you haven't moved your things into Jeff's room and fixed this up for our guest?"
Jared sighed, barely refraining from rolling his eyes. "Why do I have to room with Jeff? It isn't like this guy is used to sharing his space with Jeff. Why do I have to give up my room?"
Because...he is still going to be a guest in our house, Jare. He couldn't spend the holiday with his own family so I want to make this as pleasant as possible for him."
"But I hate rooming with Jeff! He snores all night! Then he wakes me up every damn morning by throwing a pillow at my head! It isn't fair!"
"Sweetheart...you are seventeen years old. By now, you should know life isn't always fair. Sometimes we have to make sacrifices."
Jared looked down at his bedspread. "Can you at least talk to Jeff?"
"That I can do." She walked over to his and ran her fingers through his hair. "You need to get this cut."
Jared shrugged out from under her touch. "I like it like this," he huffed.
"Fine...I guess you are too old now for me to tell you how to wear it. But...you do need do to as I asked. Move what you need for the week by the next hour or else I will do it for you and you won't get everything you probably want or need..."
Jared groaned. "I'm going...I'm going."
"Thank you," Sherry said. She ruffled Jared's hair, smiling at the squawk of surprise he emitted. "Oh! Have a surprise for you for when you are done."
“Ok…”
“Well,” she sighed, “get to work and I’ll give it to you.”
Jared suppressed the urge to roll his eyes and climbed off his bed…the bed he apparently wasn’t going to be sleeping in for the next week. It didn’t take him too long to gather up things he would need, and it wasn’t like he couldn’t come in to grab something if he needed to. If this Jensen guy cared that much about it then he couldn’t be that nice of a guy…
After finishing up, Jared went downstairs to the kitchen where his mom and little sister, Megan, were. He plopped down into the chair across from Megan and put his arms up on the table. So when are they gettin' here? Jared sighed, taking a seat at the kitchen table. Megan sat across from him doodling in some book. Jared could see little hearts along the edges and various colors of ink strewn along the pages.
"Should be here in a few hours, Jay," his mom replied not turning away from her place at the stove.
"Can I go over to Gen's then?"
"No...if you go over there you'll lose track of time and won't be here when your brother and his friend arrive."
"Jeff won't care if I'm here or not!"
"Well...I do. Just find something to do in the mean time sweetheart."
Jared huffed to himself and hung his head down onto his hand. His eyes flickered back over to his little sister. She was still intently focused on whatever she was putting down onto those pages. She didn't even notice when Jared reached over to grab it out of her hands.
"No! Give it back!" She tried to snatch it back from him, but it was useless. Jared had the height and muscle advantage over her after all. "Mom! Jared is being a dick!"
"Jared..."
"You keep a diary now?" Jared teased. "What do you write about? How hot Justin is or-"
"Jared...leave her alone." Sherry's voice left no room for argument so Jared relented. Megan stuck her tongue out at her brother before stomping off, her perfect pony tail squishing as she walked away. "Jay..."
"Aww...I was just messing with her."
Sherry sighed. "She found that diary today and was excited. They had a sale in them." She stepped towards the counter and grabbed a shopping bag. "Here’s your surprise. She picked this out for you." She tossed the bag down.
Jared furrowed his brow and dug into the bag. He pulled out a slightly manlier version of a journal like his sister had out a moment ago. “She picked out another diary for me?”
“It’s a journal,” Sherry replied, trying to refrain from rolling her eyes. “It will be good for you. You should keep a record of your senior year and all, sweetie.”
“But-“
“I wish I had done it. It would be nice to look back on those memories and see how I viewed them at that moment.” She walked over and ran her fingers through her son’s long hair. “I’m just saying you might enjoy it one of these days when you are old and graying like your momma here.”
“You’re not old,” Jared interrupted. He continued to look at the journal with disinterest.
“And you’re too nice.” She leaned down to give him a kiss to the top of his head. She nudged the journal towards him again, the leather binding scuffing across the table. “Just take it and jot some things down from time to time. It’ll be a way to remember everything from here when you go off to college next year.”
“Mom…I don’t even know where I want to be next year.” Or if I want to go to college at all…
“Took me ages to decide. I went back and forth between about three different schools for months. You’ll get there baby.”
Jared just nodded. He didn’t know how else to respond. Jeff had known from the time that he was a little kid that he wanted to be a doctor. He’d been lucky. Jared, on the other hand, had no clue. There for a few months when he was fifteen, he thought about becoming a pro athlete or something. But then he’d joined the high school team and it had gone to hell. It wasn’t his fault that the jocks at school were asses…
“Jay? Did you hear me?”
“Hmm?” Jared asked, trying to come back to the present.
“I asked if you moved your stuff you needed into Jeff’s room for the week?”
“Yeah,” Jared sighed in reply.
“Thank you,” Sherry said. She went back to cooking and moving around the kitchen more hurriedly to get things going.
Jared stood from the table and decided to go back up to his bedroom for a little while, since it would be the last time he got to relax in it without his brother or his roommate being in the house. He repressed a sigh as he climbed back up the stairs and fell onto his bed.
He really wasn’t looking forward to this week. Jeff had brought friends home from campus before to spend breaks with them. His mom and dad were always welcoming and warm to the guests. Jared had always tried to be as well, but it never seemed to work out for him. Jeff tended to befriend jerks who looked like they would fit in better at a frat party than on the path to med school.
“It’s just a week,” Jared reminded himself softly as he stared up at the ceiling. He could hear his mom moving around in the kitchen downstairs and his sister’s pop music blasting through the thin walls. He closed his eyes and tried to block it out, tried to enjoy his last moments of peace…
“Mmph!” Jared grunted not too much later when something struck across his face. He fumbled in his shock and fell off his bed. He squawked as he landed in the floor with his bedspread crumbled down around him. He didn’t realize he was clutching them tightly in his attempts to stay on the bed.
A booming cackle erupted through the room. Jared untangled himself from the mess on the floor and looked up to see his brother holding his stomach as he continued to laugh his ass off at Jared. “Oh, Jay!” Jeff said in between gasps of air. “That…was priceless!”
Jared grabbed a nearby pillow and tried to chuck it at Jeff’s head. His aim was off though and didn’t really go that far. “You suck…”
“Aww…is that any way to greet your big brother!”
“Is scaring the crap out of me any way to greet your little brother?” Jared snapped back. He finally managed to stand up and straighten himself out again. He smoothed his unruly hair down, but the ends still curled up and stuck out a little. He gave up and glared at Jeff.
“Come on, that was good man.”
Jared rolled his eyes. He started to walk out of the room but Jeff grabbed him and pulled him into a hug. “I’m just mess with you, Jay,” Jeff sighed. “No need to get your panties in a twist.” Jared tried to push away but Jeff held him tighter. “I’ll stop…sorry.” He squeezed Jared’s arm before pulling away. “How ya been kid?”
Jared rolled his eyes again, this time for the nickname. “Alright…”
“School? You still on the basketball-“
“No,” Jared interrupted, shifting away from Jeff to pull the comforter back onto the bed. “You bring your roomie or did the guy bail?” He tugged the sheets back down under the mattress and ran his hand over it to smooth out the creases.
“Has a name…Jensen,” Jeff replied. “He’s downstairs with mom.”
“Oh…well he’s getting my room. You’re stuck with me for the week,” Jared huffed.
“Ah…so that’s why you’re being such a prissy little bitch then…”
“No…I-“
“Boys! Dinner! Come down!” Sherry yelled from the bottom of the stairs.
This time, Jared did manage to shove past Jeff and hurry downstairs. In his haste to get away from his brother, he didn’t pay attention to where he was going and ran directly into someone, sending him falling back down onto the bottom step with a thud. “Ow!”
“Shit!” the other person exclaimed. “Are you ok?” Jared felt a hand at his arm, running it up and down to check on him. “I didn’t realize you were coming down.”
Jared blinked open his eyes to find a pair of very green orbs staring back at him. The intensity of them nearly took what little breath he had left in his lungs out for good.
“Are you ok?” the guy repeated.
Jared shook his head to clear it then nodded to show he was ok. “S-sorry…wasn’t watching where I was going.”
“I wasn’t either.” He pulled Jared back up into a standing position. “I’m guessing you’re Jared? Jeff’s little brother, right? Only you’re not that little…I mean…I…” He closed his eyes and bit his lip shyly. “I’m going to just shut up…I’m Jensen.” He held his hand out for Jared to shake.
“You’re Jensen? Jeff’s roommate?”
“Yep…sorry for rambling like that.”
“Don’t worry about it Jen!” Jeff said, suddenly at the bottom of the stairs with them. “Jared’s used to it. He’s the king of rambling.” Jeff ruffled Jared’s hair and headed towards the kitchen as the smell of his mom’s cooking wafted through the halls.
Jared sighed to himself and straightened his messy hair back down a bit. Jensen watched him closely, like he was about to say something but never did. Instead, they ended up just walking into the kitchen in silence to eat.
Megan and Gerry joined the table a few minutes later and they all dug into the food. Fried chicken and homemade mashed potatoes were piled onto everyone’s plate, especially Jensen and Jeff’s. Sherry gushed over them, lamenting how thin they were and how tired they must be from traveling all day. For the most part, Jared ignored it all and played with his food, shoving it around on his own plate.
“So, Jensen, have you ever been to San Antonio before?” Gerry asked, interrupting his wife from her incessant chatting with the boys.
“When I was a kid…my parents drove us up here for a trip. They wanted us to see the sights and all. It was nice. Don’t remember much of it though. Was a long time ago,” Jensen laughed.
“You’ll have to get Jeff to show you around town one day,” Sherry added, sipping at her water.
“Sure,” Jeff said. “I’ll take you around tomorrow or something. Just gotta remember to do that damn paper for Mills.”
“You haven’t done that yet?” Jensen asked.
“Nah…what’s the point? Isn’t due ‘til after break.”
“Yeah…but it took forever to get it done.”
“Don’t worry,” Jeff huffed. “I’ll get it.”
“How about you Jared?” Gerry asked. “You get slammed with homework over break?”
“Oh…not really. Just have a little to do. Won’t take long,” Jared answered truthfully.
“Good,” Sherry sighed. “Maybe you can start working on those college applications this week while you’re off?”
“Maybe,” Jared replied, his eyes staring down at his food. He moved his fork around, pushing the peas into the potatoes before finally taking a few small bites. He was starting to lose his appetite.
“So you’re a senior?” Jensen asked suddenly.
“Oh…um…yes.” Jared tore his eyes away from his smashed food to look up at Jensen. He was once again taken aback by Jensen’s eyes and the sincerity that seemed to lie within them. He couldn’t quite figure out what to make of the guy yet. He was different from what Jared was used to out of Jeff’s friends. He was used to the teasing and the picking, not the niceties and the pleasant questions.
“From how Jeff talked, I expected you to be a lot younger.”
Jared sent a bit of a glare towards Jeff. “Yeah, he sometimes seems to forget I’m only four years younger than him.”
Jensen laughed. “My sister probably says the same thing about me. It’s hard to see your baby sibling all grown up.”
Jared somehow didn’t think that was Jeff’s problem, but he didn’t comment. Instead he just smiled and nodded. Sherry launched into more questions about Jensen’s family and everything. Jared went back to his food until it was safe to be excused. His mom sent a disapproving look at him, but he brushed it off, saying he was tired.
“Ok,” Sherry sighed. Just don’t forget that you are bunking with Jeff. The air mattress is in the hall closet for you, baby.”
“I know, Mom…”
“You didn’t have to put him out for me ma’am,” Jensen politely responded.
“It’s not a problem, is it Jay?”
Jeff looked like he wanted to argue as well, but neither he nor Jared said anything to the contrary. Jared quickly agreed with his mom before heading up to set up the air mattress in Jeff’s room. He saw the damn diary poking out from the bag in his bedroom floor. With another sigh, he grabbed the thing and stuck in his messenger bag with his school stuff. He slung it over his shoulder on his way to the closet. After pulling out the air mattress and everything he would need to set up his bed.
Jeff came upstairs sometime after Jared had set everything up. He once again tossed a pillow at his baby brother’s head, knocking his headphones out of his ears this time instead of making him fall at least. “Really?” Jared huffed. “Are you trying to just made this week hell?”
“Aww…come on kid, I haven’t seen you in months. I’m just having some fun. Think you should get that stick out of your ass and grow up about it.”
“Dude…you’re the one chucking pillows at my head and I’m the one who needs to grow up?”
“Shut up,” Jeff shot back. “I’ve gotta start on that damn paper before Mom has a fit.”
“Don’t bitch at me about it,” Jared snapped. “You put it off. It’s your fault dumbass.”
Jared was rewards with another pillow to his head. He caught it just in time and ended up rolling over, using it to cushion himself on the crappy air mattress. Jeff started to ignore him afterwards at least, going to work on his paper. His typing soon lulled Jared to sleep.
A few hours later, he was rudely awakened by loud snores. “Son of a bitch,” he muttered under his breath. He sat up on the mattress enough to see Jeff sprawled across the bed with his laptop closed down in front of him. He was snoring loudly, just as he always did. Jared flopped against the mattress with a groan, grabbing his headphones once again. He cranked the music up to the loudest, bearable level, but it didn’t do any good. Jeff’s snores overpowered it.
Jared groaned once more and threw the sheets off of himself. He sent another look towards his brother but didn’t bother trying to wake him up. Jeff would just end up going straight back to sleep, snoring just as loudly. Jared decided to just head downstairs and camp out on the couch if nothing else.
Once downstairs, he noticed the back door swinging open. He cursed under his breath, assuming Megan had snuck out through it to catch up with her little pre-teen friends. He really didn’t feel up to fighting with another sibling tonight. With a huff, he headed towards the back yard. He was surprised to find Jensen sitting on the porch swing instead.
“Oh…hi,” Jensen muttered softly. “I didn’t wake you up or anything did I?”
“No,” Jared sighed, stepping out onto the porch fully. He leaned against the railing. “I can thank my idiot brother for that one.”
Jensen’s brow furrowed before realization dawned on him. “Snoring huh?”
“Yep…”
“I think he could wake the dead with it sometimes.”
“Haven’t had to sleep with him in ages so I forgot how bad it was.” Jared ran a hand over his face tiredly.
“You didn’t have to give up your room for me. I could have taken the air mattress or the couch. I’m just happy you guys let me stay here for the week. I really didn’t care where I slept.”
“It’s ok,” Jared lied easily. He could tell the guy was genuine in his words and he didn’t want to make Jensen feel any worse. “I’ll live through a week with Jeff. You have to put up with him for months on end in your tiny apartment.” Jared shuffled around a little. “And it’s no big deal…you being here. Jeff’s brought his friends home before.”
“You don’t sound too thrilled about that.”
Jared blushed and was thankful it was too dark outside for Jensen to notice. “Well, I normally don’t get along with Jeff’s friends.”
“Most of them are assholes,” Jensen laughed.
“Oh thank God!” Jared exclaimed. “Glad I’m not the only one who thinks so.”
“No…you’re not.” Jensen sent him a small smile. “He doesn’t hang around them as much anymore, not now that he has to actually hit the books if he wants to pass his MCAT and get into med school next year. Although…he does still hang around Aaron.”
Jared shuddered exaggeratedly. “He was the worst.”
“Still is…I hate when he’s over. Always drinks too much and parties too hard. Makes studying hell.”
Jared nodded. “What are you majoring in?” He wasn’t sure why he kept up the conversation. He could have easily just gone back inside and crashed on the couch.
“Teaching…science actually.”
“It’s my worst subject,” Jared said with a self-deprecating laugh.
“I get that a lot. I think a lot of it has to do with the teachers people get and all…so I want to be able to change that at some point. I remember mine. They were awful! I saw more kids fall asleep than actually learning how to do a chemical equation or what a cell was made up of. I hated it…and I don’t want kids to have to deal with that.”
“Sounds good,” Jared said around a yawn.
“God, I’ve gotta be boring you to death with all this.”
“Oh no!” Jared quickly replied. “I’m just really tired.”
Jensen yawned in return. “I think I’m not doing much better. Come on.” He grabbed Jared’s shoulder and guided him back into the house. While Jared was planning on originally bunking out on the couch, he allowed Jensen to push him back towards the stairs and up to Jeff’s bedroom. Jensen squeezed his shoulder again. “Add another pillow underneath Jeff’s head. Will stop the snoring.” He clapped Jared on the shoulder and sent him a smile before going into Jared’s bedroom.
Jared stood there for a moment, staring dumbly as his bedroom door shut behind Jensen. A small smile crept onto his face and he shook his head before carefully going back into Jeff’s room. Loud snores assaulted him as soon as he stepped into the room. He immediately grabbed the pillow from his air mattress and stuffed it under Jeff’s head. After a few seconds, the snore softened and died down to nothing but gentle breaths.
“Huh,” Jared mumbled in awe. He flopped down carefully onto his air mattress and pulled the sheets up around him. It wasn’t all that comfortable without his pillow, but he’d live. At least it had stopped Jeff from snoring. He’d definitely have to thank Jensen for that in the morning.
Jensen…
The guy definitely wasn’t what he had expected and it was throwing him for a loop…not that that was necessarily a bad thing.
With a sigh, Jared rolled over and grabbed his bag from the floor next to him. He rummaged through it for a moment before pulling out the journal Megan and his mom had gotten him. He flipped idly through the pages with one hand while the other blindly searched for a pen. He uncapped it with his mouth used what little moonlight that was filtering through the window for illumination.
~
This is probably stupid…I’m still not sure why I’m doing this. I can’t write. My life isn’t all that interesting. And I sure as hell won’t want to remember high school when I’m in my forties…it just isn’t going to happen. Not my fault. Mom was Miss Popularity…cheerleader and all with the footballer on her arm. I’m not. So yea…this is pointless…
I guess you’re supposed to put what happened during the day in these things…isn’t that what they always show in the movies? Well…anyway…Jeff came back home. YAY (sarcasm to the extreme). Brought his roomie again. Think I can get along with this one though. He’s different. Maybe this week won’t be that bad after all. Maybe I’ll have something to put in this thing by then…
~
The following morning broke with bright sunlight streaming into the house and the smell of bacon wafting up through the floorboards. Jared woke easily, having not slept all that well on the air mattress. He all but fell onto the floor in his attempt to get off the thing. He managed drag himself down the stairs where he was rewarded with a steaming pot of coffee and Jensen leaning against the counter.
“Morning,” Jared yawned, rubbing his eyes sleepily.
“You look like you’re still half asleep,” Jensen said softly, handing Jared a mug of coffee.
“Thanks…and that would insinuate that I actually slept much last night.” He sipped on the bitter liquid, ignoring the way it burned his lips in the process.
“Jeff snore all night even after-“
“No…that trick worked. Thanks for that. But the air mattress was pretty shitty.”
“You know, you are welcome to your own bed. I’m not going to complain.”
“No…it’s fine,” Jared promptly placated. “I’m good. Tonight I’ll be too tired to care one way or the other I’d imagine.” Jared snagged some bacon from the plate next to the frying pan.
“Probably.” Jensen grabbed some bacon himself.
“Morning boys,” Sherry greet as she set about grabbing eggs and more pans to finish breakfast. “How did you sleep Jensen?”
“Very well ma’am. Thank you.”
She smiled sweetly at him as she began cracking the eggs into a large bowl. Jeff came downstairs about the same time, looking only slightly awake. He grumbled out a greeting on his way to the coffee pot, but didn’t offer much else until he had had a few sips of the hot liquid.
“So you ready for an exciting day of walking around the suburbs?” Jeff asked Jensen sarcastically.
“Beats sitting inside studying all day,” Jensen replied.
“Speaking of studying,” Sherry interrupted, “did you make any headway on your paper Jeff?”
Jeff blushed a little. “Yeah…did last night.” His eyes were cast down to his coffee mug. Jared bit the inside of his lip to keep from laughing. It was obvious Jeff was lying his ass off…he could never lie well to their mom.
“Really? How much?”
“Oh…most of it…”
That time Jared did laugh. It earned him a kick under the table from Jeff, but he didn’t care.
Sherry noticed the exchange between her boys. “Jeff…don’t lie to me.”
“I’m not, Ma. I started it last night and got pretty far. Stayed up working on it.” Jeff kicked Jared harder under the time so that it actually hurt this time.
“So that’s what I heard last night? Those snores were really you pounding away at your laptop?” Jared snapped, reaching down to rub his ankle. “Never would have guessed that. I could have sworn you passed out on your laptop. Silly me…”
“Jeff,” Sherry warned.
He sent Jared one last glare before turning towards his mom. He tried to put on a pleasant smile but her stern look made it hard. “I did start it…just didn’t get too far before I fell asleep. I’ll be fine. I have all week.”
“How many pages is it?”
“Ten to fifteen. But-“
“How many do you have right now?”
Jeff bit his lip. “Two,” he mumbled. “But I have all week! I can-“
“No…you don’t have all week, Jeff,” Sherry sighed. “I told you that you needed to get that stuff done early this week. Your grandparents are coming in to town in a few days and will want to see you. You haven’t seen them since they were in for Easter…so don’t even think you are getting out of it with homework as an excuse.”
“I’m not! I-“
“You’re going to spend the day finishing up that paper of yours. I don’t care how much you hate it or anything. You are doing it.”
“But Mom I-“
“No arguments.”
“What about Jensen? I was going to take him around town!”
“Well…you should have thought about that last week instead of goofing off.” Sherry set plates of eggs down onto the table. “You’ve had this assignment for awhile. I remember you mentioning it last month.” She sent him a look that made him shrink back in his chair. “Besides, Jared can show Jensen around for the day. He’ll be fine.”
Normally Jared would argue about being volunteered for such things, but this time, he didn’t mind so much. It would probably be fun to spend the day with Jensen. “Sure,” he answered softly. “If…well if Jensen doesn’t mind.”
“No…that’s fine with me. Give Jeff some time to get his work done.”
“Don’t you have homework too?” Jeff snapped at Jared.
“Got mine done.” Jared smirked at Jeff while their mom had her back to them. Jeff glared but didn’t say anything. Instead, he grabbed a handful of bacon and stormed up the stairs, slamming his bedroom door behind him.
“Ignore him,” Sherry said to Jensen.
“Oh I know,” Jensen laughed, flashing her a charming smile. “I live with him…”
Jared smiled a little as he dug into his food. Megan and Gerry came down moments later and the rest of breakfast went off without a hitch. Jeff remained up in his room pouting. Jared was glad that he had left his clothes in his own room so that he didn’t have to deal with a pissy brother at least.
Within an hour, he was dressed and standing on the front porch waiting for Jensen. The November air was chilling, but not cold. It was normal for Texas. Jared barely even needed his hoodie his mom had forced him to grab.
“So where are you taking me?” Jensen asked as he stepped out onto the porch.
“Wherever…I mean,” Jared rubbed at the back of his neck, “the tourist crap can get pretty cheesy after a while.”
“I’m from Dallas, I understand.”
“Really? I assumed you lived further out…since you didn’t go home and all.”
“Well,” Jensen continued, “my parents had to go to New York this week. My little sister does theater…she has some competition up there this week. Mom has some family upstate there too. So there just going to spend Thanksgiving with them. My older brother goes to school about an hour out from New York, so it worked out for them. Just not me.”
“That sucks…”
Jensen just shrugged. “So where to? You’re supposed to be my tour guide aren’t you?” Jensen bumped his shoulder against Jared’s.
“I guess so.” Jared hopped down the stairs started walking. Jensen followed along. “Hope you don’t mind walking. Mom and Dad need their cars and I didn’t exactly feel like asking Jeff to borrow his. I’m still saving up for mine.”
“No problem. I like walking.”
Jared sighed in relief and took off towards the nearby park. It wasn’t much, but it was one of the nicer places in town. It had an outdoor art display set up year round, featuring local artists and high school kids’ work. It would have to do for their entertainment for now.
“Woah,” Jensen gasped as they reached the row of sculptures. Most were metals and stones that wouldn’t ruin in the rain. Beside it, there was a row of sheds that held some paintings and canvases that would ruin in the rain. “This is awesome.”
“Glad you like it,” Jared replied. “See that one there?” He pointed towards one of the twisting metal pieces. “My friend Gen did that one. She always brings me here.”
“This is really cool. Wish we had something like this on campus.”
“You into art?”
“Love looking at it, but am completely hopeless when it comes to actually making any.”
Jared laughed. “That’s how I am. But this place is nice.”
They walked around, taking in the various pieces on display. Sometimes Jared would point out a piece that belonged to someone he knew. Other times Jensen would stare and try to decide what the intricate designs were actually supposed to be, making Jared laugh with his eccentric guesses. The two of them carried on like that for a few hours before they finally hit the hotdog vendor who frequented the park.
“My treat,” Jensen insisted, paying for the hot dogs and sodas. “You kind of got stuck showing me around. Least I can do.”
“Thanks,” Jared said, taking his food from the vendor. “And it isn’t a problem. Not like I had anything to do. Was going to end up sitting on the porch just staying out of Jeff’s way.”
“You two don’t get along?”
Jared rubbed his neck as they sat down on a nearby table. “I don’t know. We just don’t see each other as much any more so we don’t know how to act around each other. He’s still the golden boy while I’m just…”
“I understand. Sometimes it is like that with me and my brother. There’s four years between us too. He was the golden boy growing up and I was in his shadow a lot. We’ve gotten better though. Our parents realized they were making us fight a lot more and stopped taking sides.” Jensen squeezed Jared’s shoulder, and damned if it wasn’t comforting. “You’ll get there with Jeff.”
Jared nodded and finished off the last of his hot dog in silence. He wiped a little bit of ketchup off onto the side of his jeans and hopped down from the table top. Jensen followed a second later, making small talk here and there about anything and everything. They actually had a lot in common, much to Jared’s surprise. They liked the same movies and books…the only thing they couldn’t come to agreement on was music.
“Country? Seriously?” Jared scoffed.
“What? It’s good music! Classic dude!”
Jared rolled his eyes. “In your dreams, man.” Jared stumbled a little as his feet left the grass and he stepped out onto the pavement of the basketball court. He saw a forgotten ball sitting off to the side and he picked it up. It had lost some of its air, but it was still usable. He dribbled it lazily before passing it to Jensen.
“Damn…haven’t played ball in years.” Jensen dribbled it for a moment before turning towards the hoop and tossing it up. It bounced off the rim and went sailing back towards the ground. Jared ran and caught it before it could go too far. He pivoted on his feet and threw it at the basket. It was a clean shot, not even bouncing off the back or the rim before going in.
“Show off,” Jensen teased as he caught the ball. He saw Jared blush. “I’m just messing with you. You’re good. You play at school?” Jensen passed the ball back to him.
Jared bit his lip. “Used to.” He threw it back at the basket, making another clean shot.
“Used to? Dude…with shots like that you could play college ball. Hell, pretty sure you’re better than half the guys on our team.”
“Not sure I’m that good.” He ran to catch the ball again. “Used to want to be pro. But that was a long time ago.” He made another basket, this time from even farther away.
“Still think you should go for your high school team. Try out should be-“
“I can’t,” Jared interrupted softly. He bounced the ball to Jensen, hoping the subject would be dropped. He wasn’t that lucky.
“Why not?” Jensen continued on innocently. “Because, Jay, you are good enough. Haven’t seen someone sink a throw like that on many high school teams.”
“They don’t want me on their team.”
“Why the hell not? Seriously…you could-“
“They don’t want people like me on their team,” Jared said, barely above a whisper. He threw the ball up one last night and sunk another shot. He turned away and walked over to the curb to sit down. He rubbed a hand over his face as he felt Jensen sit down next to him.
“Care to elaborate on what that means?”
Jared sighed. “Once they find out they have a gay teammate, they worry more about whether or not he’s checking them out in the locker rooms rather than how many baskets he can make.”
“Oh,” Jensen gasped.
Jared moved his hands to spare him a quick look. Jensen’s face was unreadable. “You don’t have to stick around…I-“
“Would be highly hypocritical of me if I didn’t.” Jared’s brow furrowed in confusion. “I’m gay too, Jared.” Jared’s eyes widened for a minute. “Played sports in high school too. Not basketball. I suck…royally…as you saw.” The corners of Jared’s lips twisted into a smile at that. “Baseball was always more my thing. My team got over it quickly though. The fact I was the only guy who could score a home run at least once a game helped.” Jared just nodded, looking down at the ground. “Your family know?”
“Yeah,” Jared answered quickly. “Was outed about two years ago.”
“Outed?”
Jared nodded solemnly. “Tried the whole dating a girl thing for awhile when I was a freshman. I liked the girl a lot…it just…”
“Knew it wasn’t what you wanted.”
“Yeah,” Jared sighed. “I tried to talk to her. I mean, we’d been friends since we were kids. But she got pissed off. She wouldn’t listen. She blabbed to her girlfriends about it…was all over school by the end of the day.”
Jensen winced. “Forgot how bad it was in high school.”
“After that, the team wasn’t all the happy to have me around. They stopped trying to watch my back on the court. I got slammed by some of the other players during practice. The couch just turned his head and acted like he didn’t see it. So yeah…that’s why I don’t play anymore.” He ran a hand over his eyes, feeling a headache coming on. “My parents don’t know all that. They think I just got lazy and quit the team on my own. I didn’t feel like having them deal with it all, you know?”
Jensen squeezed his shoulder. “Come on. Let me buy you coffee or something.” Jensen stood and helped Jared up from the ground. He allowed Jared to guide him towards a nearby café. Once inside, Jensen ordered a black coffee for himself while Jared picked out some sugary chocolately thing before taking up a seat in the back of the shop.
“Thanks…for the coffee and for earlier,” Jared said.
“I’m not sure that,” Jensen pointed at Jared’s drink, “can even be called coffee, man. I think that’s nothing but sugar and syrup.” Jensen faked a gag, making Jared laugh. “But seriously, isn’t a problem. I’ve been there. I know what it’s like to not have someone to talk to.”
Jared sent him a thankful look before gulping down some of his drink. The two settled into light conversation once more. It was nice. For the past few months, all Jared had heard about from his parents were how he needed to start looking at what colleges he wanted to apply for. Gen wasn’t much better, constantly going on about the art school she’d been accepted to. Everywhere he went, he’d been hit up for details on his plans for his future. For once, it was nice to just kick back and talk about random crap with someone. The fact that Jensen was very attractive…and gay…didn’t hurt much either…
Things didn’t stay good for long unfortunately…
They returned home not too long after inhaling their coffees. It was getting close to dinnertime and Jared knew his mom would not be thrilled if they were late. Once home, Jensen was dragged away by Sherry to taste test some dessert she had whipped up. Jared shook his head at her; his mom really loved indulging her guests.
“Hey Jeff,” Jared greeted as he stepped into the bedroom. He tossed his hoodie onto the computer chair and flopped down on the air mattress next to it. Jeff glared at his above the laptop he was typing away at over on his bed. “Still working on that paper?”
“Yeah,” Jeff huffed again. “Thanks to you dumbass.”
“Dude…sorry. Mom would have found out anyway.”
“You didn’t have to help her along,” Jeff snapped. He slammed his laptop shut and jumped off the bed. He walked to the desk and snatched Jared’s hoodie off the chair. He chucked it hard at Jared, the zipper scratching across Jared’s face. “And pick up your shit! Don’t leave it lying around my room like this.”
Jared rubbed at the place the zipper had hit and glanced around the room. “How could you even tell what is mine? You’ve been home one day and this place already looks like a war zone! That’s got nothing to do with me!”
“Well don’t add to it!”
“I’m not! I set my sweatshirt down! What’s your problem?” Jared sat up on the mattress.
“You! You ruined my day! I was supposed to be able to hang out with my friend and just chill! But no! You had to open you big mouth to mom like the little bitch you are!”
Jared turned red. “Screw you, Jeff.”
Jeff looked like he was ready to hit Jared at that, but the door opened to reveal their mom. “What is going on in here?”
Before Jared could answer, Jeff started talking. “Jared’s interrupting my paper. I can’t concentrate with him in here!”
“Jared…you know your brother has to work. Don’t bother him like this!”
“But-“
“Jared,” Sherry warned.
Jared bit his lip, feeling his face redden even more. He stood from the mattress, grabbed his hoodie and his bag, and then stormed out of the room. He saw Jensen look at him sympathetically before he hurried out the front door. He didn’t really have anywhere to go. Gen had left town already to spend the break with her grandparents in Colorado. He didn’t exactly have many other friends.
He ended up back at the park, on the basketball court. He found the neglected ball once more and channeled most of his frustrations into it. He even imagined Jeff’s face on the thing. While it was childish, it helped. He lost himself in the feel of the rubber under his fingertips and the pavement under his worn sneakers. Before he even realized it, it was dark outside and the streetlamps had kicked on for light. With a sigh, he tucked the ball back in its place under a bench and grabbed his bag and hoodie.
The air had grown chillier around him and the sweat glistening over his body wasn’t helping. Despite it, he moved slowly as he drudged back to his house. About half way there, he realized he’d left his keys on Jeff’s desk. With a groan, he cut through the front yard and hopped the fence so that he was in the backyard. He knew his dad always kept a spare key hidden under a loose board on the deck.
“Hey…”
Jared nearly jumped out of his skin at the voice. He stumbled on the steps, falling down in a heap at the bottom of them.
“Shit! I’m sorry! I’ve really gotta find a way to stop making you fall around me.”
“Jensen?” Jared sighed.
“Yeah…sorry. I didn’t exactly expect you to jump the fence at ten o’clock at night.” He offered Jared his hand and pulled him up.
“Forgot my keys. Dad always keeps a spare out back. And the fence isn’t that high so…”
“Doesn’t hurt you are part giant.”
“Shut up,” Jared huffed with a hint of a smile. “What are you doing out here anyway?”
“Got into it with your brother…came out here to cool off before bed.”
“You didn’t have to-“
“I heard most of what he said. He was an asshole to you. You didn’t deserve it.”
Jared blushed. “Thank you.”
Jensen flashed him a soft smile before noticing the way Jared’s hair stuck to his forehead with the sweat. “You’re going to make yourself sick.” Jensen brushed the sticky hair away from Jared’s clammy forehead. “Where did you go to?”
Jared tried to ignore how nice it felt to have Jensen’s fingers go through his hair. “Back to the park,” he gulped. “Imagined the basketball was Jeff’s head.”
Jensen barked out a laugh at that. “Nice.”
“It helped.”
“Whatever works, man.” Jensen moved his hand so that it was on Jared’s back instead. “Think you should head in though. It’s getting colder and you’re going to make yourself sick.”
“I’m ok…really. Don’t feel like going up to Jeff’s room yet. Actually…will probably just sleep down on the couch instead. I don’t really feel like seeing him.”
“He calmed down a lot after I talked to him…well more like yelled at him. He deserved it though. He was out of line, calling you that.”
“He didn’t mean anything by it…he was just pissed off.”
“Still…”
Jared turned and leaned against the railing. “He was actually really cool about me coming out. He just…sometimes he doesn’t know how to handle me anymore. He left right around the time all that shit went down with me. So…”
“Like I said, any time you need to talk, you know where to find me.”
Jared sent him a thankful smile again. “I appreciate it. I really do.” Jared stood slowly. “Guess we better head in.”
Jensen looked like he wanted to say something or do something different, but instead he nodded and stood as well. They headed inside and Jared sent Jensen a quick good night before turning towards the family room. He shrugged out of his hoodie and plopped down on the couch. He snagged one of the throw pillows and crumpled it up under his head. A chill went through him. He didn’t realize he was that cold until he was inside and calmed down.
Suddenly, something was draped over his body. It was warm and soft. He opened his eyes to see Jensen smoothing out the fleece blanket Jared kept up in his bedroom. “Figured you might need this,” Jensen said softly. He patted Jared’s leg and started to head up towards the stairs.
Jared’s hand shot out of under the blanket and grabbed onto Jensen’s, tugging him back towards the couch. “Thanks again.”
Jensen leaned down, brushing a few errant strands of sweaty hair out from Jared’s eyes. “No thanks needed.”
Jared could see the sincerity pooling in Jensen’s green eyes despite the darkness of the room. It still shocked him to see it. He’d only known Jensen a day. He couldn’t get over how genuine this guy was.
Before he lost his nerve, Jared leaned up and gently tugged Jensen back down towards him. Their mouths crashed together in a sloppy, brief kiss. Jared pulled away nervously, realizing what he had just done. Jensen’s face looked surprised. “Shit! I’m so-Mmph!”
Jensen pressed their mouths together in a much softer kiss this time. He sat down next to Jared on the couch, pressing close to Jared in the tight space. His hand reached up to cup the back of Jared’s neck, pulling him in towards him better. They broke apart after a few moments, both a little shocked and breathless.
“Been wanting to do that all day,” Jensen sighed happily. With that, he leaned in for another quick kiss and squeezed the back of Jared’s neck before standing up. He flashed one last look at Jared before rushing back upstairs before anyone else came down and saw them.
Jared stared up at the place where Jensen had disappeared from his line of sight, trying to process everything that had just happened.
He’d been kissed…by a guy…a hot guy at that. His mind whirled with what that meant and how he felt. He didn’t know what to think and his thoughts wouldn’t settle. He laid there against the pillows for a few minutes, just going over it all.
After a while, the events of the day and lack of sleep caught up with him. He slowly started to slip down further against the couch. Before sleep finally claimed him, he couldn’t help but giddily realize he actually had something interesting to put down in that damned journal tomorrow.
A/N: I originally wanted this to be about 2 or 3 more chapters, but some things came up in real life and that didn't happen. I will be finishing them and posting them as an addition/sequel in a few weeks when I have more time. Sorry about that! Hope you could still enjoy this part of it at least :).