So much...

[movieboy247]

It's been over a week since I last updated and things have been crazy and I haven't known what to say in here. I don't feel like describing the events of the past week except to say that I'm happy. Happy that I've found my home in a lot of people recently. People who I'm moving closer to each day, who I spend weekends with, and who I talk to daily. Sometimes I neglect those who mean the most to me (sorry Dani), and sometimes I'm neglected but in the end it doesn't matter. I realized that today. I almost told this girl off in my broadcasting class because she was being her usual self, a bitch, and I was at the breaking point. But I resisted and decided to wait until my teacher was actually there, because I figured she would enjoy it. But I realized my fussing at her wouldn't matter because I was leaving and her view of me doesnt' matter. Either way, I got a job yesterday and the benefits are plentiful but I don't want to type them all. I'm really tired. I'm always drained. That's not good when my shows tomorrow night and I, along with Megan, will be hosting it and singing the first number. I'm not stressed like last week but I realize things are down to the wire. I'm scared I may never see many of you again in my life, the promises that we make to stay in touch may never actually be kept, and the fact that my independence begins soon and I'm scared I can't handle it. Things have come into focus in my life and I think I can see glimpses of the person I want to be when I grow up, since 18 really isn't "grown up". And even though I have so many friends, part of me feels lonely. I know I'll be alone next year, starting over with no friends where I live, except for Kristen Hammer, but will it be another year like this. A year where I didn't go on one single date. A year where I was forever alone. This is why I hate Benadryl. It makes me so hyper and when there's no one to share that hyperness with, I go crazy. And the fact that no one answers their phones doesn't help either. Damn, I'm bored.

So the last thing I have to say is: GO SEE MY SHOW AT 7 PM TOMORROW NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!