let me hold it close and keep it here with me

Nov 16, 2003 17:17

once he said to me, "love is like money in that without it, you can physically live, but not quite really exist." i wrote it down and saved it and remembered it. this morning a word document which i forgot existed struck me and i opened it and that is what it said. this is what i will remember and how i choose to remember it.


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you cut that heart out from your chest to let the light in from your arm. angryandrea November 16 2003, 20:48:08 UTC
you are amazing.
and your photos?
equally.

one day,you will be pure,in your blue jeans,amongst the sunlight,yes,not worrying about your eyeliner or how much change is left in your pocket or what will happen tomorrow.just devouring the day for what it is.and trying to hold it in your pocket for those misguided moments of the years to come.but stop.just take it in.

you live so little,don't you,darling?
really live.
EVERYTHING which seems to happen is in place of something that never happend,but should have.
where are those moments which just pass and leave you breathless and content,those moments which crept up behind you,those moments that became themselves,not were lost and then found again.

be positive,hm? you'll take beautiful pictures down in coasta rica,if you already haven't during your last visit.

there's so much to envy about you,yet there are so many holes not filled,those mandatory holes,the ones in your heart which must be filled in order to breathe with a purpose.

i miss you,erin.
when we're not talking,it definitely happens.

you don't fit?
it's a sign to move to texas.
it's a huge state,darling,i'm sure you'll find somewhere.

why don't you stop dying,before you go and get it right?

one night i hope i could just talk to you.

for hours.♥

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Re: you cut that heart out from your chest to let the light in from your arm. movie_at_seven November 17 2003, 18:39:46 UTC
thank you to the Nth degree. (Nth. i am good at algebra.)

i try to live as much as i can here. i can't live very much here. i feel like this place is suffocating me, and i need to breathe polluted, city air to get a breath of fresh air. i can live when i'm living somewhere i actually want to live. do you know? and we can have that room full of mattresses wherever i go.

i am thoroughly looking forward to costa rica, only because of the photography opportunities. the last time i went there i was actually very caught up in a boyfriend who had broken up with me days before i left, so i spent the time sulking inside and outside and in bed and on rafts in oceans and pools. it was beautiful, but i was not the photographer then that i am now. i am still no photographer. i just can't wait to take pictures to take home to remember how beautiful it was there.

in person there is not so much to envy. there are a lot of holes that i don't know how to fill.

EVERYTHING IS BIGGER IN TEXAS. i'll be there momentarily, f'real. :D

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