(no subject)
Ok, I don’t think I’m dying anymore. Now that they keep talking to me like I could die, I’m set on pissing them off.
I have my biopsy on Monday. Tomi will take me in. To you know, have ‘em take a look and snip a piece, and then we will wait for results and options. I saw a picture of my cervix today. I guess on paper it should be grey and blue. But mine is mostly HOT PINK. Hot pink, baby. That cervix ain’t fuckin’ around. Fierce. Covered in pre-cancerous cells. Pre-cancerous. Is that supposed to scare me, because honey let me tell you, I have been a lot of things a little prematurely, ok? I done been a pre-teen, a prima donna, a pre…I am out of ‘pre’s’ but still, what I was and will be are two different things. Don’t talk to me about ‘pre’.
I’m not being fair to them, they really are so nice there. The doctor was really upbeat and seemed really anxious to get this resolved. Most likely, I am going to have my cervix frozen, which is not sounding too bad when you compare it to having a large section cut out. That could really affect my being able to have children, which is more important that I ever knew before it was in jeopardy. I will not risk that chance. I didn’t even know I would do anything for an unborn child, but apparently it means that I will flip that page of my chart and say in a loud voice “Next option.”
My mother would break my fingers if she knew I was typing this. She is Super-Christian in times like this, ready to defend the evils of the world with prayer and positive affirmations again and again. My mother knows everything, and she is that type of mother that will fly into the classroom with curlers in her hair if she hears you’ve been acting up, and since I’m at work right now and don’t want her flying in here to embarrass me I’m going to stop typing. And stop thinking about this. Obviously, I do not have cancer! Fuck YOU, cancer! So I will be back to update you journal when I have (great) news to share. If Lea could have a brain tumor dissolve, then surely we can find something else to match that hot pink cervix.
I have my biopsy on Monday. Tomi will take me in. To you know, have ‘em take a look and snip a piece, and then we will wait for results and options. I saw a picture of my cervix today. I guess on paper it should be grey and blue. But mine is mostly HOT PINK. Hot pink, baby. That cervix ain’t fuckin’ around. Fierce. Covered in pre-cancerous cells. Pre-cancerous. Is that supposed to scare me, because honey let me tell you, I have been a lot of things a little prematurely, ok? I done been a pre-teen, a prima donna, a pre…I am out of ‘pre’s’ but still, what I was and will be are two different things. Don’t talk to me about ‘pre’.
I’m not being fair to them, they really are so nice there. The doctor was really upbeat and seemed really anxious to get this resolved. Most likely, I am going to have my cervix frozen, which is not sounding too bad when you compare it to having a large section cut out. That could really affect my being able to have children, which is more important that I ever knew before it was in jeopardy. I will not risk that chance. I didn’t even know I would do anything for an unborn child, but apparently it means that I will flip that page of my chart and say in a loud voice “Next option.”
My mother would break my fingers if she knew I was typing this. She is Super-Christian in times like this, ready to defend the evils of the world with prayer and positive affirmations again and again. My mother knows everything, and she is that type of mother that will fly into the classroom with curlers in her hair if she hears you’ve been acting up, and since I’m at work right now and don’t want her flying in here to embarrass me I’m going to stop typing. And stop thinking about this. Obviously, I do not have cancer! Fuck YOU, cancer! So I will be back to update you journal when I have (great) news to share. If Lea could have a brain tumor dissolve, then surely we can find something else to match that hot pink cervix.