big girl dreams take you to big girl places (in cowboy boots)
good music on the television. i am so glad to finally be here, on my favorite couch. they match by the way, the couches. but so happy to finlly be here and able to write. i am so happy and giddy all over and i don't think i have to hide that from anyone. not you, journal.
so first i need to say that 'loose change' will fuck you up. 'loose change' is a crazy documentary that every person who says they are an american--and don't nobody like this land (and your land) like i do--needs to see. it just--wow, it just disproves every single thing i know about 9/11 thus far. it shows how the government concocted the entire thing! Lord, what a thing to say, but i dare say it's true, it's true! ok, enough of that. enough of that madness. i'm ahead of myself already.
ok, so! this was memorial day weekend. last memorial day weekend i spent it sitting in a diner in new york city with a friend and this other girl who had a bad coke problem. so gross. point is, i made a vow to get away come this holiday and did i ever. yee-haw, we had ourselves a w-h-e-d-d-i-n as kyle would have you spell it. ha ha, klye is brother tater and i am sassafras. sasafrass rotider, pleased to meet you.
somehow i made it to alabama, after my plane broke twice. it was late and led by hunter, the group was late. but did it matter? no. absolutlely not. because i was already prepared with a blanket stolen from delta airlines and was tucked away while i waited for them on an airport bench. hunter pulled up in a car that brings memories of riding around t-town and seeing those old booth parking spaces behind the place. the ones right by the dumpster where you might catch rb or bk dumping last night's filth. the first hug from hunter is better than the last. i'll stop the world and melt with you. (gag) he's enormous, his chest and voice are delightfully cavernous, and i could live inside that space. for a day. (ha) and then tasia. and then my baby std. what a handsome little lion that std is. he came prepared. oy ve, all four of us together again. vegas reunited.
i said, vegas reunited.
you know what time it is!
ok, sara catherine. amazing. there is a glow that they say pregnant women have but that's crazy-talk. ain't no pregnant woman glowing, ok? pregnant women are TERRIFIED because they are about to lose their crotch to a baby's head, not glowing. but a, gasp, married-to-be woman is a sight to behold. she smiles and the whole world smiles with her. and cries for her. and hopes with her. and stubbornly takes a FREEZING cold shower for! and laughs alongside.
and a friend gets to enjoy--and secrertly apoloize to God for all the cynical things she may have said because she was, say, ahem, slightly jealous and/or stupid about everything that involves real-deal true love like she was witnessing--her very good friend's wedding. a friend gets to participate and share the love and once again, cry and cry and cry during their particicpation and snot all over themselves even though justin garr is watching and who knew he was still hot and you will see him later and look dorky, but wow, ok, a friend is very proud of sara catherine. that's all. yes, a friend is so very proud and has to stop writing about this or they will start crying again right now because they miss her and everyone else. and alex wheat-thins as i like to call him, who is now a true member of this crazy extended family that i am so blessed to be a part of. and help boss around. i nominate myself to be a junior tina (mee-maw?) in the future. after jill of course.
they should have made a soundtrack. is it tacky to request a wedding gift? but no, really, i'd like a soundtrack. it was just so beautiful. that guy with the hair, his little 'mermaid' sea shell of a voice, so pure and sweet tucked down in his heart. i would definitely like a recording of all the songs that were sung. note: write down request. which reminds me that i'll need tasia's new address. nice boyfriend. very nice, really likes her so much. to a sickening degree actually. but no, kidding, it's cute. see, that's hunter's bad influence on me. he's sick. true story below:
Jasmine: Melissa's husband is very nice. I never really met him before. But he's nice, right?
Tasia: Yes. (Inaudible)
Jasmine: Yeah, he's nice.
Hunter: And easy on the eyes.
Jasmine: Hunter!
Hunter: What?
Jasmine: That is the second time you pointed that out.
Hunter: I'm just sayin'--
Jasmine: I know what you are just saying. Thank you for pointing it out. Again. Thank you. And stop.
all true. ask anyone who slept in that madness otherwise known as a five-person sleepin pile. that was fun and crowded but fun. only me and tasia's boy heard the bird at 6am, but it was real! these are the stories i'll tell my kids, you know. it's like, in the future, the kids are going to come to me and my husband--and he doesn't know who he is but i do and he better have a present waiting for me when i get back to new york or he is going to hear my wrath when i get off of work-- and the kids will say "mom, dad, why do we have to go see so-and-so?". and my husband will look at them with sympathy becaue he doesn't know why i'm friends with these idiots either and i'll chime in and answer "because when mommy was young these people showed mommy the best time of her life...before daddy and his jewish mafia kidnapped mommy". and my husband will hit me in the head with a pillow and we will all laugh because my dreams have come true.
ok, now back back to the wedding's sleeping arrangements. you know, i have alot of male friends. ok, that was putting it nicely but you know what i mean journal. i have also had boyfriends, and with each one of them, or with the special ones anyway, i have had a place that i crave on each. for example, with josh maynor it was called 'the cave' and was in the very middle of his back. in the part that folds, the part most people probably have trouble recahing. with damien it was and is, called 'my spot'. as in, the spot where i go when sleeping next to him. with tomi it is called 'the turtleshell'. with gavin i think it was called sleeping 'close' to him. ok, the point is: i like men. ha ha. no really, i like this certain spot on men, not because i'm freaky, but because it tells alot about the guy. clearly i am making this all up, and believe me i am totally making it up, but still i've got no reason not to believe myself. when a guy has his back popped out to you it's not good. it's defensive. but when it's softly cupped inward...when he sleeps and breathes and you can nuzzle your whole little face in that one intimate little, um, cubby hole, it is just heavenly. just divine to lay close to a man and snuggle down for the night and breathe him while you sleep. fuck, this sucks. this is what i dislike about this livejournal forum. there is a point to what i'm saying but i can't really go there right now, but darn, i just really like that whole experience. that's all.
whoo. deep breath. ok, so anyway, i saw my family! hooray! i get so worried about them, but at the end of the day, they know what time it is. they are sitting down there, patiently waiting for me to get it together and succeed, and naturally take them with me. lea is getting so very big. her body is the sha-motherfucking-zam. my dad just kept saying how proud he was of me. and when he wasn't he was showing off his new machine that burns three dvds at once. he is all about burning 'loose change' and spreading his newfound 9/11 truth. God, i love them all so much.
and i want to cry, because i get scared sometimes. ok, alot. but like this entry is titled, and like jill parsons said best: BIG GIRL DREAMS TAKE YOU TO BIG GIRL PLACES. and that means alot, because i know i am not one to tire out easily. i have not even begun the first part of this journey. i got so much farther to climb and i, thankfully, have packed many a pair 'o panties.
wow, wow, wow. so true. and i get shivers each time i think about that. you may not have a husband jazzercise, but you are a big girl. and each of us is finding our own place in the world. i laugh as i think of tina's expression when i ask what is to become of single 'ol me. only good things, of course. sigh. smile.
i have mentioned 'the secret' before, the movie about positive visulaization of what you want. fuck, it's hot in this apartment. anyway, the movie tells you to visualize every good moment of your life. so that's what i did today. i literally rode four planes and saw my high school best friend in chicago during a layover there. i read magazines and got pampered in my own ways. and i saw dc, and other parts of the south. amazing travels today.and i paid all of that money for that ticket on my own. i am so proud! no one helps me, no one takes care of me except for me. and i was able to make it happen and be the kind of friend that i would like to always be. i traveled! and was responsible! and did something good! i should do this more often. i should do all of this more often.
and trust me, with God's grace...with His abundance of love and grace and mercy...
i will.
i mean...ha ha...should i, jasmine amii harrison, or do i, jasmine amii harrison, take all these blessings that have been bestowed upon me, plus talents, and unforseen tithings, take al these things and promise to make the most of them for the rest of my life?
absolutely, without a doubt...
i do!
somebody kiss me.
so first i need to say that 'loose change' will fuck you up. 'loose change' is a crazy documentary that every person who says they are an american--and don't nobody like this land (and your land) like i do--needs to see. it just--wow, it just disproves every single thing i know about 9/11 thus far. it shows how the government concocted the entire thing! Lord, what a thing to say, but i dare say it's true, it's true! ok, enough of that. enough of that madness. i'm ahead of myself already.
ok, so! this was memorial day weekend. last memorial day weekend i spent it sitting in a diner in new york city with a friend and this other girl who had a bad coke problem. so gross. point is, i made a vow to get away come this holiday and did i ever. yee-haw, we had ourselves a w-h-e-d-d-i-n as kyle would have you spell it. ha ha, klye is brother tater and i am sassafras. sasafrass rotider, pleased to meet you.
somehow i made it to alabama, after my plane broke twice. it was late and led by hunter, the group was late. but did it matter? no. absolutlely not. because i was already prepared with a blanket stolen from delta airlines and was tucked away while i waited for them on an airport bench. hunter pulled up in a car that brings memories of riding around t-town and seeing those old booth parking spaces behind the place. the ones right by the dumpster where you might catch rb or bk dumping last night's filth. the first hug from hunter is better than the last. i'll stop the world and melt with you. (gag) he's enormous, his chest and voice are delightfully cavernous, and i could live inside that space. for a day. (ha) and then tasia. and then my baby std. what a handsome little lion that std is. he came prepared. oy ve, all four of us together again. vegas reunited.
i said, vegas reunited.
you know what time it is!
ok, sara catherine. amazing. there is a glow that they say pregnant women have but that's crazy-talk. ain't no pregnant woman glowing, ok? pregnant women are TERRIFIED because they are about to lose their crotch to a baby's head, not glowing. but a, gasp, married-to-be woman is a sight to behold. she smiles and the whole world smiles with her. and cries for her. and hopes with her. and stubbornly takes a FREEZING cold shower for! and laughs alongside.
and a friend gets to enjoy--and secrertly apoloize to God for all the cynical things she may have said because she was, say, ahem, slightly jealous and/or stupid about everything that involves real-deal true love like she was witnessing--her very good friend's wedding. a friend gets to participate and share the love and once again, cry and cry and cry during their particicpation and snot all over themselves even though justin garr is watching and who knew he was still hot and you will see him later and look dorky, but wow, ok, a friend is very proud of sara catherine. that's all. yes, a friend is so very proud and has to stop writing about this or they will start crying again right now because they miss her and everyone else. and alex wheat-thins as i like to call him, who is now a true member of this crazy extended family that i am so blessed to be a part of. and help boss around. i nominate myself to be a junior tina (mee-maw?) in the future. after jill of course.
they should have made a soundtrack. is it tacky to request a wedding gift? but no, really, i'd like a soundtrack. it was just so beautiful. that guy with the hair, his little 'mermaid' sea shell of a voice, so pure and sweet tucked down in his heart. i would definitely like a recording of all the songs that were sung. note: write down request. which reminds me that i'll need tasia's new address. nice boyfriend. very nice, really likes her so much. to a sickening degree actually. but no, kidding, it's cute. see, that's hunter's bad influence on me. he's sick. true story below:
Jasmine: Melissa's husband is very nice. I never really met him before. But he's nice, right?
Tasia: Yes. (Inaudible)
Jasmine: Yeah, he's nice.
Hunter: And easy on the eyes.
Jasmine: Hunter!
Hunter: What?
Jasmine: That is the second time you pointed that out.
Hunter: I'm just sayin'--
Jasmine: I know what you are just saying. Thank you for pointing it out. Again. Thank you. And stop.
all true. ask anyone who slept in that madness otherwise known as a five-person sleepin pile. that was fun and crowded but fun. only me and tasia's boy heard the bird at 6am, but it was real! these are the stories i'll tell my kids, you know. it's like, in the future, the kids are going to come to me and my husband--and he doesn't know who he is but i do and he better have a present waiting for me when i get back to new york or he is going to hear my wrath when i get off of work-- and the kids will say "mom, dad, why do we have to go see so-and-so?". and my husband will look at them with sympathy becaue he doesn't know why i'm friends with these idiots either and i'll chime in and answer "because when mommy was young these people showed mommy the best time of her life...before daddy and his jewish mafia kidnapped mommy". and my husband will hit me in the head with a pillow and we will all laugh because my dreams have come true.
ok, now back back to the wedding's sleeping arrangements. you know, i have alot of male friends. ok, that was putting it nicely but you know what i mean journal. i have also had boyfriends, and with each one of them, or with the special ones anyway, i have had a place that i crave on each. for example, with josh maynor it was called 'the cave' and was in the very middle of his back. in the part that folds, the part most people probably have trouble recahing. with damien it was and is, called 'my spot'. as in, the spot where i go when sleeping next to him. with tomi it is called 'the turtleshell'. with gavin i think it was called sleeping 'close' to him. ok, the point is: i like men. ha ha. no really, i like this certain spot on men, not because i'm freaky, but because it tells alot about the guy. clearly i am making this all up, and believe me i am totally making it up, but still i've got no reason not to believe myself. when a guy has his back popped out to you it's not good. it's defensive. but when it's softly cupped inward...when he sleeps and breathes and you can nuzzle your whole little face in that one intimate little, um, cubby hole, it is just heavenly. just divine to lay close to a man and snuggle down for the night and breathe him while you sleep. fuck, this sucks. this is what i dislike about this livejournal forum. there is a point to what i'm saying but i can't really go there right now, but darn, i just really like that whole experience. that's all.
whoo. deep breath. ok, so anyway, i saw my family! hooray! i get so worried about them, but at the end of the day, they know what time it is. they are sitting down there, patiently waiting for me to get it together and succeed, and naturally take them with me. lea is getting so very big. her body is the sha-motherfucking-zam. my dad just kept saying how proud he was of me. and when he wasn't he was showing off his new machine that burns three dvds at once. he is all about burning 'loose change' and spreading his newfound 9/11 truth. God, i love them all so much.
and i want to cry, because i get scared sometimes. ok, alot. but like this entry is titled, and like jill parsons said best: BIG GIRL DREAMS TAKE YOU TO BIG GIRL PLACES. and that means alot, because i know i am not one to tire out easily. i have not even begun the first part of this journey. i got so much farther to climb and i, thankfully, have packed many a pair 'o panties.
wow, wow, wow. so true. and i get shivers each time i think about that. you may not have a husband jazzercise, but you are a big girl. and each of us is finding our own place in the world. i laugh as i think of tina's expression when i ask what is to become of single 'ol me. only good things, of course. sigh. smile.
i have mentioned 'the secret' before, the movie about positive visulaization of what you want. fuck, it's hot in this apartment. anyway, the movie tells you to visualize every good moment of your life. so that's what i did today. i literally rode four planes and saw my high school best friend in chicago during a layover there. i read magazines and got pampered in my own ways. and i saw dc, and other parts of the south. amazing travels today.and i paid all of that money for that ticket on my own. i am so proud! no one helps me, no one takes care of me except for me. and i was able to make it happen and be the kind of friend that i would like to always be. i traveled! and was responsible! and did something good! i should do this more often. i should do all of this more often.
and trust me, with God's grace...with His abundance of love and grace and mercy...
i will.
i mean...ha ha...should i, jasmine amii harrison, or do i, jasmine amii harrison, take all these blessings that have been bestowed upon me, plus talents, and unforseen tithings, take al these things and promise to make the most of them for the rest of my life?
absolutely, without a doubt...
i do!
somebody kiss me.