(no subject)
Surrender to love is the hardest damn work I have ever done in my life. Put me working in prisons to teach murderers how to give good massages or give me women who haven't slept without nightmares in ten years, but don't ask me to be open and receive tender loving care of someone who is going to know all my dirty laundry and stick around anyway!
Why is it so hard? Well, I guess I've just been on the road so long I don't know the difference between my feet and my boots and here comes someone to offer a foot rub and I gotta feel how tired my feet are and how long I've been wanting some good touch and lay down all those other times of disappointment and confusion and let this in without overwhelming myself or anyone else with grief and longing. I didn't learn how to do this at home or school. Did you? It takes a combination of mercy and love we give ourselves.
John Calvi, from “True Love” in The Friends Journal, 1992