for the love of work
I miss it.
I miss the feeling of a job that I'm trusted to be able to do.
I miss being respected at work.
I miss the feeling like life outside of work is a distinct reality without guilt.
What is this experience?
Am I the poorly paid government-provided slave of the school?
Am I still Lisa?
The golden girl on the quest?
Am I still in control?
Is my right of control still more powerful than anothers demands?
Am I inadequate?
Am I wrong to feel their inflicted guilt?
JOSEPH! I SWEAR TO GOD! UNTIL I KILLED THAT OWL MY PATH WAS LUMINOUS! INCANDESCENT EVEN!
I feel uncomfortable in a way I thought I'd left behind.
Until I hear the birds and feel the sun.
Until I see the gulls flapping-winged in the cool morning air.
I am thinking to immerse myself in my friends-maybe that will bring some healing
"My general formula for my students is "Follow your bliss." Find where it is, and don't be afraid to follow it."
My bliss was squirmy in my belly this morning.
Unhappy.
Unable to be seen.
It was not clearly saying- "GO TO WORK"
It was not clearly saying- "DO NOT GO TO WORK"
It seemed to say- "DO NOTHING TODAY"
and my neck, my fingertips, my thighs and my toes are tingling like falling asleep, like cutoff blood flow.
Sometimes I think it says "HAVE SEX"
but I wonder if bliss really speaks from my vagina, or if that's something else...
I miss the feeling of a job that I'm trusted to be able to do.
I miss being respected at work.
I miss the feeling like life outside of work is a distinct reality without guilt.
What is this experience?
Am I the poorly paid government-provided slave of the school?
Am I still Lisa?
The golden girl on the quest?
Am I still in control?
Is my right of control still more powerful than anothers demands?
Am I inadequate?
Am I wrong to feel their inflicted guilt?
JOSEPH! I SWEAR TO GOD! UNTIL I KILLED THAT OWL MY PATH WAS LUMINOUS! INCANDESCENT EVEN!
I feel uncomfortable in a way I thought I'd left behind.
Until I hear the birds and feel the sun.
Until I see the gulls flapping-winged in the cool morning air.
I am thinking to immerse myself in my friends-maybe that will bring some healing
"My general formula for my students is "Follow your bliss." Find where it is, and don't be afraid to follow it."
My bliss was squirmy in my belly this morning.
Unhappy.
Unable to be seen.
It was not clearly saying- "GO TO WORK"
It was not clearly saying- "DO NOT GO TO WORK"
It seemed to say- "DO NOTHING TODAY"
and my neck, my fingertips, my thighs and my toes are tingling like falling asleep, like cutoff blood flow.
Sometimes I think it says "HAVE SEX"
but I wonder if bliss really speaks from my vagina, or if that's something else...