[Fic:] The good choice
Kazuya went on the balcony and started smoking. New York was a beautiful city, he couldn’t deny it. Beautiful and fast city, full of entertainments, bars and colorful people, from all the word. Everybody, who wants became famous were going to New York, and trying their best with different effect. Some of them succeed, another ones fails. That city never sleep. There was almost everything. You could find anything you want from all over the world. New York was a dreaming city for a huge amount of people, but not for him.
He had everything in Japan, Tokyo. He was an celebrity there. He had his fans, his band, his movies, his family. He had almost everything, and he was proud of it. He was realizing his dreams, and was reaching the goals. He even had a chance to play baseball for a while. And the food was better there, than here, where he almost everyday ate pizza or some another fast foods. He should have been happy there, but he wasn’t.
He looked at the love scene, which have place in front of his balcony, and sighed. That was, why he wasn’t happy. He hadn’t his love by his side, because his lover had his own dreams and wanted badly do the worldwide career. Jin left their band and follow for his dreams, and Kazuya accepted that. Well to be the truth he had no other choice. Everybody knows that if you love somebody from whole your heart, you will do everything for the that person. Everything for sake of the happiness of your love, so he also did that. He accepted Jin’s dreams and allowed him reach his goals.
Was he regretted his decisions? That he hadn’t been an egoist, and hadn’t stop Jin? No, he wasn’t like this. It was the best for Jin, and he was proud of his boyfriend, because Jin was the one, who really tried reach his dreams. Jin was the one, who worked hard for that. Jin was great composer and lyricist. He had everything, and even something more. He was lucky guy, ‘cause he had talent. His voice was his power, and he had practice. He already knew how to be the star. That was, what favor him. He had more experience with show business, than others, and he did his best. Jin became an worldwide star, and rarely back to home.
Kazuya closed his eyes and took deep breath. Jin was a star, which knew almost every kid and every teenager on the whole world. Even some adults, specially women, knew him. He had concerts almost everywhere, and time which they spent together was not enough. Specially for Kazuya.
Jin was in Tokyo once, or twice on year. For couple of days, which were full of concerts or some important meetings. Their relationship wasn’t that good, as Kazuya want. They were talking with each other almost everyday, but only for a few minutes, by the phone. It wasn’t enough. They couldn’t even talking about being in relationship. The situation was hard, until his decision.
Kazuya couldn’t be with this kind of relationship, so he decided end it. Firstly it was hard not being with Jin anymore. He couldn’t even talk with him, ‘cause was afraid of his weak will. He knew that if he heard Jin’s voice, he will fall down again. That was a time, when he worked all day and night. He rarely slept and ate as a rabbit, or even worst. He wasn’t a human anymore. He was rather like a machine. Perfect machine, which couldn’t be broken. And maybe that machine was not broken, but he, as a human was. He couldn’t feel, sleep, eat. Sometimes he couldn’t even breath, and he made another decision. He ended with that show business. He left his band, family and everything what he loved.
Kazuya wasn’t singer anymore. Kazuya wasn’t actor anymore. He hadn’t an celebrity anymore. He was just an ordinary man, without nothing. He wasn’t working, because he didn’t know, what he want do, but he was happy. He could taking deeps breaths. He could do what he want, so he moved. He left Japan behind his back.
The first thing, which he do, when he left, was going at Jin’s concert as a normal person. He could contact with Jin and told him, that he wanted a ticket or something like this, but he didn’t do that. He bought ticket as a normal person, and he was really excited of that. He could see Jin from the other side, which he had never do before.
Kazuya smiled to his thought. He remembered that concert well. It wasn’t his last concert like this, but he still remembered the atmosphere from it. Jin’s fans, which were screaming and scanned Jin’s name, and Jin in person - his aura. Star… that was first Kazuya’s thought. Not friend, not ex-lover, not even an enemy, but star. Something beautiful and worthy every money. Kazuya knew it for sure.
And now he was there. In New York, as many others people. He was standing at the balcony and looking for better future. He could do almost everything, and he still was in love. That love already shown him, that he is a strong person. Even stronger, than he supposed. He started study at the university, but he didn’t study art. He wasn’t at that university. He also didn’t quit show business to the end. He wanted become an manager, and he had all predisposition to reach that goal.
Kazuya smiled once again, while ended the cigarettes, then he stretched, and took another deep breath. He enjoyed that life, without any pressure. It was new life, and new him. He loved this himself, and he knew that he was at the best way to the normal, happy life.
“Wanna go out?” sleepy voice of his lover, made him smiled even wilder. He forgot about the most important case. He was with Jin again. They were living together, and he was at almost every Jin’s concert. He didn’t sing anymore, but he was by Jin’s side. “Or maybe wanna go to bed?” another question, and Kazuya knew which one was the best option. He turned to his lover with a cutest smile ever.
“Bed sounds nice” answered sweetly. “But only with you” added, then fell in Jin’s embrace.
“As always, sweetheart” whispered the other, kissing Kazuya’s mouth, and Kazuya knew, that he made the best decision in his whole life, because now he could finally told, that he is happy. He was the happiest person on the world, when he was with Jin, and only with him. He couldn’t really live without him.
Life was difficult, and not always was great, but together they could overwhelmed everything. Together were stronger than alone. They created perfect team, and they understood their needs, and dreams. They finally was for each other. They love was stronger than anything.
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Still at hospital, with not that good mood, but it's not that bad either. I'm trying distract myself from pain, and here is already 8th of April. I wanted post it a little bit later, but don't really know, if I will be able get online in the morning.
I have great man in the room. He isn't talkative much, but if he talk, he do this with sense, and he don't like me, 'cause children are always coming to me. They want talk and play with me, and he told me that I'm annoying. It's a first person who told me that. Not good ^^ Don't know how to become less annoying. Hope he won't be mad at me. Well he actually is mad now, 'cause it's almost 1 a.m, and I still am online. If he tell this to doctor, I will have a trouble. But, but it's all because my whole body hurt so much after therapy. And I can't even sit properly after this. Now is a first time, when I can do that, so I just use it.
Yesterday I cry... cry because of pain. It wasn't great, and the doctor was not so happy too, but he told me that, he believe that in a long matter of time, the therapy will working. So I believe in it too. Trying think positively.
Anyway I don't really wanna complain too much. I know, that they're doing everything for me, and I trying fight a little bit more, because hope is the best thing, and the only one, which left me. So I promise to myself, that I won't be down because of my disease. There is still time, which I have. And there are dreams, and some little things, which I want do. So there will be no falling down, because of brain tumor. At least I will try it.
And that's all... I should probably make two posts, but I don't really see the sense of doing that :)