Better today...
I've realized that my LJ tends to be a bit depressing. I'm not that depressing myself. Honest! I just tend to get in a mood to ramble on a journal when I'm in a deep and depressed mood is all.
ANYWAY, I was talking to a friend of mine today, and helping her with a problem she's been having reminded me that I haven't been doing something quite important to keeping my own sanity.
I call it my own personal ladder. Recovering from panic disorder is a bitch. Really it is. There are days when showering and brushing my teeth are difficult tasks. There are other days when the boundries drop and I accomplish more in a day than many people do in a week. Unfortunately those days are rare indeed, and usually just make me frustrated the rest of the time because I know what I'm capable of.
ANYWAY. The ladder.
I realized that there are certain basic things I need to get under control before others, and that it really is a ladder I need to climb. From the bottom up we have:
Personal Hygene (Showering and brushing teeth frequently)
Sleep Hygene (asleep at the same time every night, waking up at the same time every morning)
Cleanliness (right now I'm sucking on this front... I've got a pile of clean laundry on my bed, and I haven't done any dishes in the past couple days)
Regular Meals (i.e. a set number at set times -- hard for me)
Healthy Meals
Exercise
REGULAR Exercise
Socializing (even if it's just picking up the phone and calling people)
A schedule (having the regular exercise and regular meals gives me a structure to fit the rest of my activities around)
What I've discovered is that even if I'm having a totally crappy day, I can go back to this list, start at the bottom, and crawl my way back up. It's unfortunate that my mind and life have gone to the point where I need to structure such basic things, but I accept that fact, and having this ladder to work with is a good fallback.
ANYWAY, my food is about ready, so I'm going to run. My brother got me a starter set for a wargame called AT-43, so I'm going to read the rules tonight so we can try it out tomorrow.
ANYWAY, I was talking to a friend of mine today, and helping her with a problem she's been having reminded me that I haven't been doing something quite important to keeping my own sanity.
I call it my own personal ladder. Recovering from panic disorder is a bitch. Really it is. There are days when showering and brushing my teeth are difficult tasks. There are other days when the boundries drop and I accomplish more in a day than many people do in a week. Unfortunately those days are rare indeed, and usually just make me frustrated the rest of the time because I know what I'm capable of.
ANYWAY. The ladder.
I realized that there are certain basic things I need to get under control before others, and that it really is a ladder I need to climb. From the bottom up we have:
Personal Hygene (Showering and brushing teeth frequently)
Sleep Hygene (asleep at the same time every night, waking up at the same time every morning)
Cleanliness (right now I'm sucking on this front... I've got a pile of clean laundry on my bed, and I haven't done any dishes in the past couple days)
Regular Meals (i.e. a set number at set times -- hard for me)
Healthy Meals
Exercise
REGULAR Exercise
Socializing (even if it's just picking up the phone and calling people)
A schedule (having the regular exercise and regular meals gives me a structure to fit the rest of my activities around)
What I've discovered is that even if I'm having a totally crappy day, I can go back to this list, start at the bottom, and crawl my way back up. It's unfortunate that my mind and life have gone to the point where I need to structure such basic things, but I accept that fact, and having this ladder to work with is a good fallback.
ANYWAY, my food is about ready, so I'm going to run. My brother got me a starter set for a wargame called AT-43, so I'm going to read the rules tonight so we can try it out tomorrow.