One of those days
It's back to work on a day shift for the first time in weeks. Well, technically last Friday was a day shift, but Fridays are there own brand of special.
So today started off with a bang. The crazy guy from Papua New Guinea has started calling again. He's now used a total of four aliases, which confounds me, because he's got a really memorable, nasal, grating kind of voice. We all recognize him when he calls. He called three times this morning, and I got him twice. He's still obsessing about his paranoid theory that he was taken against his will by the Sûreté du Québec "in chains" (his words, not mine) in the middle of the night and forcibly removed from the country.
The first time he called he refused to identify himself and asked if "theoretically" the situation he described would be considered criminal. So I told him that the theoretical victim would theoretically have to consult a theoretical lawyer and get the hell off my theoretical phone line. Okay, not that last bit. The second time around I put him in touch with the officer who's now in charge of his file, and let her deal with him.
Then we got a guy who called and threatened to kill the "fucking incompetent fuck" who apparently hung up on him when he called to apply for a firearms license. Yeah. Smooth. When told that uttering death threats on a recorded police line was probably not in his best interests, he declared that he didn't care, and threatened to "fucking kill [us] all" if we didn't tell him what he wanted to hear. Oh, a real winner.
After that I got a call from a guy who wanted to file a complaint against a judge because she rendered a verdict against him, and obviously had "no respect for the judicial process." Uh-huh. I referred him to the Québec Bar Association so they would point him in the right direction. He quizzed me seventeen ways until Sunday ("You're the police, shouldn't you deal with this?"), and eventually hung up, frustrated.
He then called back two hours later, to inform me that I had given him the "wrong information" and that he had to call the National Judicial Institute. So he called back specifically to tell me this, because, and I quote: "You guys don't want to lose your credibility. Right now you look like a bunch of spastic idiots!"
I cannot make this shit up.
Oh, and then there was the guy who called to report another guy who wasn't paying his taxes. I referred him to Revenu Québec and Revenue Canada, but I once again got the "You're the police, why aren't you investigating this?" line, and then he told me he didn't want to call them because he didn't want to wait on hold. During tax season. *headdesk*
There were others, but those were the highlights.
So, yeah. It's been a day.
So today started off with a bang. The crazy guy from Papua New Guinea has started calling again. He's now used a total of four aliases, which confounds me, because he's got a really memorable, nasal, grating kind of voice. We all recognize him when he calls. He called three times this morning, and I got him twice. He's still obsessing about his paranoid theory that he was taken against his will by the Sûreté du Québec "in chains" (his words, not mine) in the middle of the night and forcibly removed from the country.
The first time he called he refused to identify himself and asked if "theoretically" the situation he described would be considered criminal. So I told him that the theoretical victim would theoretically have to consult a theoretical lawyer and get the hell off my theoretical phone line. Okay, not that last bit. The second time around I put him in touch with the officer who's now in charge of his file, and let her deal with him.
Then we got a guy who called and threatened to kill the "fucking incompetent fuck" who apparently hung up on him when he called to apply for a firearms license. Yeah. Smooth. When told that uttering death threats on a recorded police line was probably not in his best interests, he declared that he didn't care, and threatened to "fucking kill [us] all" if we didn't tell him what he wanted to hear. Oh, a real winner.
After that I got a call from a guy who wanted to file a complaint against a judge because she rendered a verdict against him, and obviously had "no respect for the judicial process." Uh-huh. I referred him to the Québec Bar Association so they would point him in the right direction. He quizzed me seventeen ways until Sunday ("You're the police, shouldn't you deal with this?"), and eventually hung up, frustrated.
He then called back two hours later, to inform me that I had given him the "wrong information" and that he had to call the National Judicial Institute. So he called back specifically to tell me this, because, and I quote: "You guys don't want to lose your credibility. Right now you look like a bunch of spastic idiots!"
I cannot make this shit up.
Oh, and then there was the guy who called to report another guy who wasn't paying his taxes. I referred him to Revenu Québec and Revenue Canada, but I once again got the "You're the police, why aren't you investigating this?" line, and then he told me he didn't want to call them because he didn't want to wait on hold. During tax season. *headdesk*
There were others, but those were the highlights.
So, yeah. It's been a day.