Drama By Proxy
It's amazing how interesting and fairly enjoyable drama can be when it only comes into your life once every 6 months or so. This isn't even really MY drama... it's drama by proxy because I'm partially involved.
So my friend Rache (22), I've talked about her, doesn't see me much.She had this boyfriend (31) who hates the idea of her having a life outside of him. He's a real control freak, you know? So they broke up back in February (I believe), which I thought would be good for her until she told me they agreed to remain living together. His reasoning was that he was holding her back from acting like a 22 yr old, and that she needed to go out and have fun. Rache had high hopes that they would get back together... and I, being her friend and knowing she's terribly fragile, told her that he'd probably take her back after he was sure she was done going out and having fun with us 21 and 24 yr olds... So I took her out to get drunk when they broke up. It was the first time in ages... I see her maybe once a month, not including when I go harass her while she's at work.
So for St Patrick's Day, she'd called and told me she was bored out her mind, didn't want to go to the gym with Carlos (the exbf) and whatnot. I show up at her work and our friend Weezer begs me to get her to go have some fun. So I did. I told her that if she didn't come hang out with me I would show up at her house and drag her out by her hair. She agreed to come over, but immediately freaked out because she was worried that Carlos would be upset. I said fuck that. If you think about it, he wanted her to go have fun, so she should go have fun. It makes sense to me. It even made sense to her and Red.
So she came over, Mikey made the three of us dinner and then we went to pick up Red's friend Jacoda from the bus station. We picked up some beer and some rum and went back to the house. It was fun, even though we didn't do much. I had to go to bed at one because I had a final presentation at 8 the next morning, but Red, Jacoda and Rache staid up and watched Grandma's Boy. They were all pretty trashed, so Jacoda and Rache staid the night and crashed in the living room. The next morning I got up and went to school and that was the last I heard from Rache until this morning.
I start getting texts from Red that Rache had gotten up to go take Carlos to work, as she ALWAYS does, without fail, and he had left, leaving her a note that said "thanks for fucking me over". Baby Girl freaks out, because he's mad, and doubles back to Jacoda and Red because she doesn't know what else to do. ABout 20 minutes later, Carlos calls and tells her he's moving out. PS it's all MY fault he broke up with her and is leaving her.
I get a call after school of what's going on and all and I get angry. I'm not even angry at Carlos at that point. I'm mad at Rache. Over the years she's been a pretty crappy friend. She gets a man and he becomes her whole world. There is no more room for me in her life when she gets attached to a man. She becomes his servant, footstool, doormat. So when I was to depressed that I could barely manage to drag myself out of bed everyday because I was lonely and needed someone.... Red told Rache, for lack of someone else to tell. She never even called... she just left me to my oblivion. At the moment I'm told what's going on and how we're probably going to have to take care of Rache and all, I just... I was pissed. I shouldn't have to put my shopping day of fun on hold because she can't manage her life. I was mad all the way to the dispensary (where I got some awesome Strawberry Cough, Duran Poison and Grape Ape) and then I got my free cookie and I was at least calmer.
I did not have to take care of Rache... because while I was wondering if she's okay, picking up Girl Scout cookies from Tracikins and then finally deciding that we should just go shopping and do the comdey club and wait for her to contact us, Carlos was getting her trashed and feeding her lies.He told her that if she'd come home, he was going to propose. WHAT?! No. If he was going to he still would.
For anyone not realizing what's happening here... let me explain. Carlos is a controlling little bastard that is trying to manipulate Rache here. He wants her to be servile, which she's good at being when I'm not involved. I'm just as dominant in her life as he is, so he has to get rid of me because I'm a threat to him. All friends she might have are a threat to him because that would mean she has an out, a way to get away from him, and an outside variable that could make her not NEED him. He pulled the marriage card because he knows she still loves him and that it would break her heart, and guilt her into dropping me.
This morning Rache calls and fill me in. She tells me he didn't leave and that his brother thinks that there's a good chance she and Carlos will get back together. "He's just hurt right now." I can no longer hold my tongue about this guy. He declared war the moment he tried to pin this on me and take my Rache away from me again. I will not allow it. So I did what I had to, and that was try to reality check her back to the real world. It went something like this: "Rache, I've been really nice and tried not to tell you what I think of Carlos but he's manipulating you. He's an asshole who is trying to cut you off from your friends so you HAVE to be with him. He started this when he tried to pin all of this on me. You are a codependent and you wouldn't be so bad about it if he was treating you right, which he's not and if you EVER come to your senses and want to leave him you're welcome to rent out the bottom of Red & I's home."
It was a slap to the face, sure... but she agreed he's not treating her right. He covers up his actions with little kindnesses that she can latch onto and believe in... but I'm not going to let this happen. Her lease is up in April, and I think she needs to cut ties with him. He's bad for her. I'm going to tell her this tonight or tomorrow... I want her to come live with us for a while. It's not the independance that she quite wants but it's a step and she gets a living room of her own and a bedroom. That's not bad. We'll share the kitchen and the bathroom and we'll all manage somehow. I can't let her go back to him. Not this time.
So my friend Rache (22), I've talked about her, doesn't see me much.She had this boyfriend (31) who hates the idea of her having a life outside of him. He's a real control freak, you know? So they broke up back in February (I believe), which I thought would be good for her until she told me they agreed to remain living together. His reasoning was that he was holding her back from acting like a 22 yr old, and that she needed to go out and have fun. Rache had high hopes that they would get back together... and I, being her friend and knowing she's terribly fragile, told her that he'd probably take her back after he was sure she was done going out and having fun with us 21 and 24 yr olds... So I took her out to get drunk when they broke up. It was the first time in ages... I see her maybe once a month, not including when I go harass her while she's at work.
So for St Patrick's Day, she'd called and told me she was bored out her mind, didn't want to go to the gym with Carlos (the exbf) and whatnot. I show up at her work and our friend Weezer begs me to get her to go have some fun. So I did. I told her that if she didn't come hang out with me I would show up at her house and drag her out by her hair. She agreed to come over, but immediately freaked out because she was worried that Carlos would be upset. I said fuck that. If you think about it, he wanted her to go have fun, so she should go have fun. It makes sense to me. It even made sense to her and Red.
So she came over, Mikey made the three of us dinner and then we went to pick up Red's friend Jacoda from the bus station. We picked up some beer and some rum and went back to the house. It was fun, even though we didn't do much. I had to go to bed at one because I had a final presentation at 8 the next morning, but Red, Jacoda and Rache staid up and watched Grandma's Boy. They were all pretty trashed, so Jacoda and Rache staid the night and crashed in the living room. The next morning I got up and went to school and that was the last I heard from Rache until this morning.
I start getting texts from Red that Rache had gotten up to go take Carlos to work, as she ALWAYS does, without fail, and he had left, leaving her a note that said "thanks for fucking me over". Baby Girl freaks out, because he's mad, and doubles back to Jacoda and Red because she doesn't know what else to do. ABout 20 minutes later, Carlos calls and tells her he's moving out. PS it's all MY fault he broke up with her and is leaving her.
I get a call after school of what's going on and all and I get angry. I'm not even angry at Carlos at that point. I'm mad at Rache. Over the years she's been a pretty crappy friend. She gets a man and he becomes her whole world. There is no more room for me in her life when she gets attached to a man. She becomes his servant, footstool, doormat. So when I was to depressed that I could barely manage to drag myself out of bed everyday because I was lonely and needed someone.... Red told Rache, for lack of someone else to tell. She never even called... she just left me to my oblivion. At the moment I'm told what's going on and how we're probably going to have to take care of Rache and all, I just... I was pissed. I shouldn't have to put my shopping day of fun on hold because she can't manage her life. I was mad all the way to the dispensary (where I got some awesome Strawberry Cough, Duran Poison and Grape Ape) and then I got my free cookie and I was at least calmer.
I did not have to take care of Rache... because while I was wondering if she's okay, picking up Girl Scout cookies from Tracikins and then finally deciding that we should just go shopping and do the comdey club and wait for her to contact us, Carlos was getting her trashed and feeding her lies.He told her that if she'd come home, he was going to propose. WHAT?! No. If he was going to he still would.
For anyone not realizing what's happening here... let me explain. Carlos is a controlling little bastard that is trying to manipulate Rache here. He wants her to be servile, which she's good at being when I'm not involved. I'm just as dominant in her life as he is, so he has to get rid of me because I'm a threat to him. All friends she might have are a threat to him because that would mean she has an out, a way to get away from him, and an outside variable that could make her not NEED him. He pulled the marriage card because he knows she still loves him and that it would break her heart, and guilt her into dropping me.
This morning Rache calls and fill me in. She tells me he didn't leave and that his brother thinks that there's a good chance she and Carlos will get back together. "He's just hurt right now." I can no longer hold my tongue about this guy. He declared war the moment he tried to pin this on me and take my Rache away from me again. I will not allow it. So I did what I had to, and that was try to reality check her back to the real world. It went something like this: "Rache, I've been really nice and tried not to tell you what I think of Carlos but he's manipulating you. He's an asshole who is trying to cut you off from your friends so you HAVE to be with him. He started this when he tried to pin all of this on me. You are a codependent and you wouldn't be so bad about it if he was treating you right, which he's not and if you EVER come to your senses and want to leave him you're welcome to rent out the bottom of Red & I's home."
It was a slap to the face, sure... but she agreed he's not treating her right. He covers up his actions with little kindnesses that she can latch onto and believe in... but I'm not going to let this happen. Her lease is up in April, and I think she needs to cut ties with him. He's bad for her. I'm going to tell her this tonight or tomorrow... I want her to come live with us for a while. It's not the independance that she quite wants but it's a step and she gets a living room of her own and a bedroom. That's not bad. We'll share the kitchen and the bathroom and we'll all manage somehow. I can't let her go back to him. Not this time.