Sunlit sadness
Today was the last choir meeting of term.
Edward, the conductor, is stepping down today. He'll be gone when the choir next meets. So will a few others.
And so, in a way, will I.
There isn't a next term for me. Next year, I'm getting sent to France to do a compulsory assistantship. No-one ever asked me if I wanted to go, and my reply would have changed nothing if they did. Whether I like it or not, I have to spend a whole year away from this city. Away from the university and my friends. Some of them will have graduated by the time I return.
I've hated this place at times. I've wanted to go home. But after a while, this city begins to grow on you, until you can't imagine yourself being uprooted from it. Perhaps for a month's vacation, but not for a year, a whole cycle of freshers' greetings and University Christmas and spring blossoms and boats on the river.
Right now, I'd say I'm happy most of the time. But as the end of term gets closer, I can't help a constant feeling of resigned sadness. The friendships, the stability, these sunlit days, won't last much longer.
I'm going away.
Edward, the conductor, is stepping down today. He'll be gone when the choir next meets. So will a few others.
And so, in a way, will I.
There isn't a next term for me. Next year, I'm getting sent to France to do a compulsory assistantship. No-one ever asked me if I wanted to go, and my reply would have changed nothing if they did. Whether I like it or not, I have to spend a whole year away from this city. Away from the university and my friends. Some of them will have graduated by the time I return.
I've hated this place at times. I've wanted to go home. But after a while, this city begins to grow on you, until you can't imagine yourself being uprooted from it. Perhaps for a month's vacation, but not for a year, a whole cycle of freshers' greetings and University Christmas and spring blossoms and boats on the river.
Right now, I'd say I'm happy most of the time. But as the end of term gets closer, I can't help a constant feeling of resigned sadness. The friendships, the stability, these sunlit days, won't last much longer.
I'm going away.