(no subject)
I've been meaning to post an update for a while, but keep putting it off.
I'm well past the point where the Zoloft should be having an effect. I suppose it is, but it's not dramatic. I'm honestly not sure it's worth continuing. But I guess I will for a while, if my shrink agrees tomorrow. I haven't been depressed in a while. My energy level seems pretty good.
On New Year's Eve, I went with friends to a club downtown called Rehab Disco. The last time I was there was last spring. At that time, I felt totally uncomfortable ("freaked out" would be a bit of an overstatement) and left after a short time. On NYE, I didn't feel completely uncomfortable and stuck around for a few hours. But I also didn't rock the place. I want to be the kind of guy who can go into a place like that, talk to people, and have a hell of a time. I don't know if that's possible for me. I guess not freaking out is a start, though.
The situation with my company's contract with the Navy is still up in the air. The new contract was supposed to be awarded last fall, but because the government is a giant bloated beast of bureaucracy, it still hasn't been. We're on our second bridge contract, which expires in February. I don't expect to lose my job in any case. If a new company wins the contract, they'll hire the existing personnel. How my salary and benefits will fare in that case is an unknown.
Oh, and I still hate my job. I'm bored as hell. I want a new career, but I have no clue what career I want.
I've been teaching myself to play the piano for a few months now. I've made a lot of progress and I have a long way to go. I feel a sense of accomplishment when the notes on a page start to come together to form a tune. I'm still very clumsy about it. The association between a note on the music and a key on the piano isn't as quick and automatic as it needs to be.
I'm well past the point where the Zoloft should be having an effect. I suppose it is, but it's not dramatic. I'm honestly not sure it's worth continuing. But I guess I will for a while, if my shrink agrees tomorrow. I haven't been depressed in a while. My energy level seems pretty good.
On New Year's Eve, I went with friends to a club downtown called Rehab Disco. The last time I was there was last spring. At that time, I felt totally uncomfortable ("freaked out" would be a bit of an overstatement) and left after a short time. On NYE, I didn't feel completely uncomfortable and stuck around for a few hours. But I also didn't rock the place. I want to be the kind of guy who can go into a place like that, talk to people, and have a hell of a time. I don't know if that's possible for me. I guess not freaking out is a start, though.
The situation with my company's contract with the Navy is still up in the air. The new contract was supposed to be awarded last fall, but because the government is a giant bloated beast of bureaucracy, it still hasn't been. We're on our second bridge contract, which expires in February. I don't expect to lose my job in any case. If a new company wins the contract, they'll hire the existing personnel. How my salary and benefits will fare in that case is an unknown.
Oh, and I still hate my job. I'm bored as hell. I want a new career, but I have no clue what career I want.
I've been teaching myself to play the piano for a few months now. I've made a lot of progress and I have a long way to go. I feel a sense of accomplishment when the notes on a page start to come together to form a tune. I'm still very clumsy about it. The association between a note on the music and a key on the piano isn't as quick and automatic as it needs to be.