Life...
Okay... So I admit to being hurt a few days ago by someone I thought highly of. Too bad. Right? Well, the good news is, for ''just friends'', we were doing good. Talking and stuff. But I haven't heard from him now, in two days. Does this mean he's avoiding me? I wish I knew, because there are things that he needs to tell me. We're planning a get-together. I need to know if he's given addresses to people, if he can be a driver for someone (maybe even wear one of those drivers hats - just for you Mickey ^_^). <>
oh well.
Life, i've noticed, has become harder now a days. This was just the icing on the cake...hmmm... cake. Turns out I might not be going back to Tech for the first semester of this year. And once I get to the US in two weeks, I'm staying there until Christmas break. So I need to find a place to live... and a job... just in case. It also turns out that my parents are gonna move next year... to places I wouldn't be able to go and visit. Which sucks because of the lack of visitation... but I would be able to stay in the US.
Which is what I really want at the moment... just to be a normal american. Finish Heartwood Elementary School... find a local middle/high school near by and attend... then go to VT. <> That's the life I want. Just something simple... oblivious to the world around me. Concerned more about fashion, and what's hot or not... not about my mom getting shot or something horrible. <> But that's the life I was given.
I have come to realize that this is the last summer I will spend in Germany... this December will be my last Christmas here as well... Next summer? In the air at the moment. My brother will graduate high school... so i'll be here for that... but then we leave Germany almost directly afterwords. And go where? Do what? Will I have a job? Will I need one? Where will we live once my parents move? Where is my home? Where will it be? Why can't I have just one home? One home that doesn't move... Why do I have to keep moving? Keep making new friends? WHY?
My life is such a mess right now, and I'm scared of what's to come... I can't handle to many more curves on this road that I am currently on. If you want a few steps in my shoes, imagine this... changing schools every few years... and the schools you change to are sooooo far away from each other... no internet for most of your moves, and so keeping in touch is really REALLY hard to do... and it gets to the point where you start building a wall... then you'll let someone in and you get hurt and your wall is now 10 ft. higher than it used to be.
I'm sorry... I don't mean to be a drag. I'm usually a cheerful person. But I've been here... isolated from my friends for about a month now... no contact except the internet... and even that was down for a week at one point... two more weeks... two more weeks and I'm out of here. Seems like it will take forever...
oh well.
Life, i've noticed, has become harder now a days. This was just the icing on the cake...hmmm... cake. Turns out I might not be going back to Tech for the first semester of this year. And once I get to the US in two weeks, I'm staying there until Christmas break. So I need to find a place to live... and a job... just in case. It also turns out that my parents are gonna move next year... to places I wouldn't be able to go and visit. Which sucks because of the lack of visitation... but I would be able to stay in the US.
Which is what I really want at the moment... just to be a normal american. Finish Heartwood Elementary School... find a local middle/high school near by and attend... then go to VT. <> That's the life I want. Just something simple... oblivious to the world around me. Concerned more about fashion, and what's hot or not... not about my mom getting shot or something horrible. <> But that's the life I was given.
I have come to realize that this is the last summer I will spend in Germany... this December will be my last Christmas here as well... Next summer? In the air at the moment. My brother will graduate high school... so i'll be here for that... but then we leave Germany almost directly afterwords. And go where? Do what? Will I have a job? Will I need one? Where will we live once my parents move? Where is my home? Where will it be? Why can't I have just one home? One home that doesn't move... Why do I have to keep moving? Keep making new friends? WHY?
My life is such a mess right now, and I'm scared of what's to come... I can't handle to many more curves on this road that I am currently on. If you want a few steps in my shoes, imagine this... changing schools every few years... and the schools you change to are sooooo far away from each other... no internet for most of your moves, and so keeping in touch is really REALLY hard to do... and it gets to the point where you start building a wall... then you'll let someone in and you get hurt and your wall is now 10 ft. higher than it used to be.
I'm sorry... I don't mean to be a drag. I'm usually a cheerful person. But I've been here... isolated from my friends for about a month now... no contact except the internet... and even that was down for a week at one point... two more weeks... two more weeks and I'm out of here. Seems like it will take forever...