i guess you could say that i am an open book.. but sometimes you have to read inbetween the lines..
sometimes i look through the looking glass and i dont like what i see...
i think i have a dark side... and it just has to be provoked, to be awakened... sometimes i fear that moment when i stop forgiving, not loving.... stop being...
i dont want to loose who i am but i feel myself slipping.... slipping into that black whole of nothingness...
sometimes i get sick of pretending everything is ok.... sometimes it is but most of the time its a mask...
other times i am glad to forget my problems... to forget that i am not the person my parents wanted in a daughter..
then other times i realize that i am alone... and i am ok until i see that ONE couple that will just break my day and just stand there holding hands with secret smiles on their faces...
for once in my life i would like one day to go without me feeling sorry for myself...
but until i can do that i will try and stay away from that black hole i fear so much...
mahal
aislinn