musical truancy
today i skipped my first ever dress rehearsal. last night i thought about the importance of going this morning, especially after having only been to three rehearsals for the concert on tuesday. then, i just thought, "well, i don't give a fuck." and that's a first for me.
and it looks like there's a high possibility that i'm quitting after this tuesday's concert. i don't feel the desire to play with those people anymore. when i went to school on staten island, even though it was still a bit of a hike to get to rehearsal, it certainly wasn't as expensive as it is to go down from westchester. the environment, always cold and impersonal anyway, has become even more chokingly so. plus having to work eight hours a day and drag my ass down to the city for three hours every tuesday night is not appealing to me, especially if i'm not enjoying the rehearsal process. it's not worth it if i make a half-assed attempt at playing, anyway. in addition, sitting next to those old women, as much as i love them for their idiosyncracies, is not constructive to my musical growth. so call me elitist if you want. i'm not claiming any terrific viola skills whatsoever, rather pulling myself out before i lose what little i have left.
my audition for the bc orchestra is in september. i've thought a lot about the prospect of playing with them despite the future workload. i've realized that i am excited at the thought of playing with young musicians again, especially those that are in similar academic and professional situations as me. and hopefully there won't be as many egos as there has been in the greenwich village orchestra, a talented group indeed but certainly full of those jaded professionals that never made it past their university music programs.
i just got back from my little sister's piano recital. and i received a bit of clarity on what i want to do in the next few years musically. and they are to:
-learn a chopin polonaise
-learn the rebecca clarke sonata for viola and piano
-learn the handel pasacaglia for violin-viola
-play shostakovich's 8th string quartet
and at some point find an orchestra to play dvorak's ninth ("new world") symphony again.
and that's all folks.
and it looks like there's a high possibility that i'm quitting after this tuesday's concert. i don't feel the desire to play with those people anymore. when i went to school on staten island, even though it was still a bit of a hike to get to rehearsal, it certainly wasn't as expensive as it is to go down from westchester. the environment, always cold and impersonal anyway, has become even more chokingly so. plus having to work eight hours a day and drag my ass down to the city for three hours every tuesday night is not appealing to me, especially if i'm not enjoying the rehearsal process. it's not worth it if i make a half-assed attempt at playing, anyway. in addition, sitting next to those old women, as much as i love them for their idiosyncracies, is not constructive to my musical growth. so call me elitist if you want. i'm not claiming any terrific viola skills whatsoever, rather pulling myself out before i lose what little i have left.
my audition for the bc orchestra is in september. i've thought a lot about the prospect of playing with them despite the future workload. i've realized that i am excited at the thought of playing with young musicians again, especially those that are in similar academic and professional situations as me. and hopefully there won't be as many egos as there has been in the greenwich village orchestra, a talented group indeed but certainly full of those jaded professionals that never made it past their university music programs.
i just got back from my little sister's piano recital. and i received a bit of clarity on what i want to do in the next few years musically. and they are to:
-learn a chopin polonaise
-learn the rebecca clarke sonata for viola and piano
-learn the handel pasacaglia for violin-viola
-play shostakovich's 8th string quartet
and at some point find an orchestra to play dvorak's ninth ("new world") symphony again.
and that's all folks.