times are shitty but i'm pretty sure they can't get worse
Santa Fe isn't even close to my favorite RENT song, but I've had it stuck in my head for a couple days. it seems appropriate.
I thought about making a post a couple times after the election last week, but always feel like what I have to say isn't helpful or constructive or even nice. basically I'm just intensely tired of thinking "come on guys, we can do better than this" and then, nope, no rational sense at all. Just insanity. I feel kind of hopeless, not about my self/life personally, but just this keeps being a problem and we never fix it, we just let it be the same problem over and over and everybody gets all mad but then we just circle right back around again and surprise, it's the same problem.
okay, maybe a tiny bit of the hopelessness is about myself, because when I gave up around 2am that night, I went to bed thinking that I should feel more anxious personally but since I'm basically never dating anyone, does it even matter I'm not straight? But whatever, it's also almost thanksgiving week which is one of the 2 weeks in the year that I feel the most awful during, and since I can't seem to make that stop either, the best thing to do seems to be to just try and be sad quietly without dragging anybody else down. Like in Inside Out when Joy draws the circle around Sadness and tells her just to stay inside it and not touch anything. That's me. She even looks like me.
Ever since I moved to this apartment Miyata the confused christmas cactus always blooms like crazy at Thanksgiving instead, and I've started to wonder if he is trying to make me feel better. If Gaya the birthday orchid does the same thing around my birthday I'll know they planned it.
I took my dad to see Sungha Jung, the acoustic guitarist, last weekend, and he was really amazing in person. That kid is so talented and he was super nice when I got to talk to him for a minute while he signed my poster. Live he's unbelievable, he doesn't even seem real. The other guy was Trace Bundy, who I hadn't heard of before, but he did some really cool stuff with echo and loop pedals and his acoustic guitar, and I wholeheartedly recommend him. My favorite, hands down, was Overtime where he uses an echo and then by the end is kind of playing in between the notes of the echo and no video can do it justice of how cool it was live, but I'm linking it anyway.
I started writing Gravity Verse for NaNo but it's going super slow and I'm only at 7k. I feel pretty okay with that, though. Eh. We're doing a shiritori reshuffle soon and at some point I have to start JE United, but the window on that is hella long, man. I need more frequent shorter exchanges.
Yuri on Ice is....something, isn't it. I really like it, I do, but it's punching my teacher/student squick right in the balls. Coach/older student is still too close. It's great it's not getting censored or labeled funny and the writing and character development is so good, but every time it flashes to Yurio having a tantrum watching Yuri and Victor on TV, I'm basically right there with him.
I guess that's it. Let's get this snow on already, I'm ready.
Entry also posted at http://mousapelli.dreamwidth.org/890114.html if you'd rather comment there.
I thought about making a post a couple times after the election last week, but always feel like what I have to say isn't helpful or constructive or even nice. basically I'm just intensely tired of thinking "come on guys, we can do better than this" and then, nope, no rational sense at all. Just insanity. I feel kind of hopeless, not about my self/life personally, but just this keeps being a problem and we never fix it, we just let it be the same problem over and over and everybody gets all mad but then we just circle right back around again and surprise, it's the same problem.
okay, maybe a tiny bit of the hopelessness is about myself, because when I gave up around 2am that night, I went to bed thinking that I should feel more anxious personally but since I'm basically never dating anyone, does it even matter I'm not straight? But whatever, it's also almost thanksgiving week which is one of the 2 weeks in the year that I feel the most awful during, and since I can't seem to make that stop either, the best thing to do seems to be to just try and be sad quietly without dragging anybody else down. Like in Inside Out when Joy draws the circle around Sadness and tells her just to stay inside it and not touch anything. That's me. She even looks like me.
Ever since I moved to this apartment Miyata the confused christmas cactus always blooms like crazy at Thanksgiving instead, and I've started to wonder if he is trying to make me feel better. If Gaya the birthday orchid does the same thing around my birthday I'll know they planned it.
I took my dad to see Sungha Jung, the acoustic guitarist, last weekend, and he was really amazing in person. That kid is so talented and he was super nice when I got to talk to him for a minute while he signed my poster. Live he's unbelievable, he doesn't even seem real. The other guy was Trace Bundy, who I hadn't heard of before, but he did some really cool stuff with echo and loop pedals and his acoustic guitar, and I wholeheartedly recommend him. My favorite, hands down, was Overtime where he uses an echo and then by the end is kind of playing in between the notes of the echo and no video can do it justice of how cool it was live, but I'm linking it anyway.
I started writing Gravity Verse for NaNo but it's going super slow and I'm only at 7k. I feel pretty okay with that, though. Eh. We're doing a shiritori reshuffle soon and at some point I have to start JE United, but the window on that is hella long, man. I need more frequent shorter exchanges.
Yuri on Ice is....something, isn't it. I really like it, I do, but it's punching my teacher/student squick right in the balls. Coach/older student is still too close. It's great it's not getting censored or labeled funny and the writing and character development is so good, but every time it flashes to Yurio having a tantrum watching Yuri and Victor on TV, I'm basically right there with him.
I guess that's it. Let's get this snow on already, I'm ready.
Entry also posted at http://mousapelli.dreamwidth.org/890114.html if you'd rather comment there.