flight to tucson
written quite a while ago, but this is the first time my computer has been online (and thank god. i hate the damn dell at my house. macs are so much better. yes, i love my computer):
i'm sitting in baltimore/washington international airport. three and a half hours until my flight to atlanta, then another few hours until my flight to tucson. a twelve and a half hour travel time total.
my eyes are welling with tears again. why is it always harder to leave boston once i am already in the air? flying over the city that i have loved so deeply for the last two and a half years. flying over it to leave for six months. boston, it won't be until june that i see you again. and then only briefly, to return to the apartment on the cape where my life becomes complete again. not torn in half. and then to return to boston college in august to be split between family in tucson and family and friends in boston.
it alls seems so distant and outrageous. "happy holidays. enjoy second semester and summer. see you in august"
it actually only means something to so few people.
this is why i did not put a request for email addresses in my profile with the promise of emailed updates from new zealand. yes, i will send emails, but (1) i am unreliable when it comes to such impersonal emails and (2) i would rather send personal emails back and forth with my closest friends.
i had a final (my hardest) the last day in boston. most were all ready gone or leaving by tuesday. it made it easier, i think. detached from leaving because i was too busy concentrating on studying and not forgetting some detail about leaving. of course, i feel ready to go to new zealand and ridiculously excited and ready.
but.
it is still strange to leave boston for a semester.
it feels empty.
i don't know what i would have done without brad this past week (or past 13 months for that matter). he was done with finals on friday, so helped me pack, organize myself, kept me from having a breakdown like i usually do while packing, sat with me and read while i studied.
after my final yesterday, he packed all my stuff into the car while i said goodbye to the few remaining people and did last minute cleaning.
(what would i do without him)
i stayed at his house last night. we built a fire and read, drove around to look at christmas lights, made dinner, watched a charlie brown christmas, did christmas presents. shared two bottles of sam adams winter ale and had a glass of twin fin chardonnay.
it was perfect, except for the growing knot in my stomach.
it is only three weeks for now. and then only six. and then comes the really awful one of almost three months. i am not afraid of being away from him, just feel empty and incomplete.
going through security in the airport with tears is not a pleasant experience.
if i don't stop writing about this i'm going to start crying in the airport again. there are too many people around to cry, alexis.
i'm sitting in baltimore/washington international airport. three and a half hours until my flight to atlanta, then another few hours until my flight to tucson. a twelve and a half hour travel time total.
my eyes are welling with tears again. why is it always harder to leave boston once i am already in the air? flying over the city that i have loved so deeply for the last two and a half years. flying over it to leave for six months. boston, it won't be until june that i see you again. and then only briefly, to return to the apartment on the cape where my life becomes complete again. not torn in half. and then to return to boston college in august to be split between family in tucson and family and friends in boston.
it alls seems so distant and outrageous. "happy holidays. enjoy second semester and summer. see you in august"
it actually only means something to so few people.
this is why i did not put a request for email addresses in my profile with the promise of emailed updates from new zealand. yes, i will send emails, but (1) i am unreliable when it comes to such impersonal emails and (2) i would rather send personal emails back and forth with my closest friends.
i had a final (my hardest) the last day in boston. most were all ready gone or leaving by tuesday. it made it easier, i think. detached from leaving because i was too busy concentrating on studying and not forgetting some detail about leaving. of course, i feel ready to go to new zealand and ridiculously excited and ready.
but.
it is still strange to leave boston for a semester.
it feels empty.
i don't know what i would have done without brad this past week (or past 13 months for that matter). he was done with finals on friday, so helped me pack, organize myself, kept me from having a breakdown like i usually do while packing, sat with me and read while i studied.
after my final yesterday, he packed all my stuff into the car while i said goodbye to the few remaining people and did last minute cleaning.
(what would i do without him)
i stayed at his house last night. we built a fire and read, drove around to look at christmas lights, made dinner, watched a charlie brown christmas, did christmas presents. shared two bottles of sam adams winter ale and had a glass of twin fin chardonnay.
it was perfect, except for the growing knot in my stomach.
it is only three weeks for now. and then only six. and then comes the really awful one of almost three months. i am not afraid of being away from him, just feel empty and incomplete.
going through security in the airport with tears is not a pleasant experience.
if i don't stop writing about this i'm going to start crying in the airport again. there are too many people around to cry, alexis.