Ack! Warning: Introspection ahead.
So I completely and utterly apologize for any emoness, whinyness, idiocy, and/or droll and inane posts I have made within the past few days. Work has gotten to be stressful the past few days, and very unfortunately it had me in a rather bitchy mood. However, ya know, I think some things are looking up. Here's a great example of why it is:
Robbie: Hey, I got a raise at work!
Me: Awesome, how much?
Robbie: ...Four dollars on the hour.
Me: *anime jawdrop and head explosion*
So.. yeah. Robbie took on a new job at Circuit City and is now their in-home technician. I don't know why, but I absolutely abhor money. While I know that he's happy we're not broke (actually, we've not been truly broke in about 3 months), I'm a bit depressed about it. Perhaps it's just the fact that I feel that money brings almost nothing but grief and sadness sometimes. I've never been rich, never grew up in a family that was well off, I rarely traveled, and I've scraped by.
I think those few things has given me the impression that people that don't live paycheck to paycheck, or whom are not in some sort of horrid debt tend to be snobby, stuck-up people. What I feel I'm afraid of most is that I'll lose sight of the days when I didn't have money, when I made cupboard chili (when you take everything from your pantry and throw it together and hope it tastes good). Perhaps I'm just being completely conceited and believing myself above materialistic needs, and therefore trying to prove to myself that I'm a good person by not liking money. Lastly, perhaps I've just been jealous of those who have all these great traveling stories, or "daddy gave me his credit card" things because I've never had them. So in turn with jealousy's ugly head, I have began to resent money with a correlation to those people who I oh so envied.
Not quite sure, but it feels kind of nice having thought this stuff out now. I've been a bit busy for introspection lately, and I feel as though I'm in dire need of it. More posts to follow, I hope.
Robbie: Hey, I got a raise at work!
Me: Awesome, how much?
Robbie: ...Four dollars on the hour.
Me: *anime jawdrop and head explosion*
So.. yeah. Robbie took on a new job at Circuit City and is now their in-home technician. I don't know why, but I absolutely abhor money. While I know that he's happy we're not broke (actually, we've not been truly broke in about 3 months), I'm a bit depressed about it. Perhaps it's just the fact that I feel that money brings almost nothing but grief and sadness sometimes. I've never been rich, never grew up in a family that was well off, I rarely traveled, and I've scraped by.
I think those few things has given me the impression that people that don't live paycheck to paycheck, or whom are not in some sort of horrid debt tend to be snobby, stuck-up people. What I feel I'm afraid of most is that I'll lose sight of the days when I didn't have money, when I made cupboard chili (when you take everything from your pantry and throw it together and hope it tastes good). Perhaps I'm just being completely conceited and believing myself above materialistic needs, and therefore trying to prove to myself that I'm a good person by not liking money. Lastly, perhaps I've just been jealous of those who have all these great traveling stories, or "daddy gave me his credit card" things because I've never had them. So in turn with jealousy's ugly head, I have began to resent money with a correlation to those people who I oh so envied.
Not quite sure, but it feels kind of nice having thought this stuff out now. I've been a bit busy for introspection lately, and I feel as though I'm in dire need of it. More posts to follow, I hope.