I dont feel alive.. this cannot be right!

[mountainrocker]

"Do you remember
That day of your life
It seemed like yesterday
That joy it filled my heart

It doesn’t feel the same
And I’m feeling dry
Amidst my pain"

I WANT TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why can't I be granted that pass?
Why must I stay here and be alone?
Why must I cry till I cannot anymore?
If God doesn't stike me dead,
Then I wont do it my self...
But I wish he would!!!!
I'm ready to go home!
I can't take it here anymore, its going to my head!

"I placed the blame on anything that has patential
To be the reason for my falls
For any clue I'm searching for the one to balme it on
I dont even know his name
But if I ever find him
I'll be sure and set the record straight
Could it be that I'm the one whose never listening
To the God whose
Ever speaking, never sleeping, ever seeking me
Could it be that my disobedience is the dam that holds the water back
For which I am so thirty
I ask my self could it be me
Could it, could it be me
Sometimes even God finds my finger in his face
Just another case of creation blames creator
And at the end of my sweat and tears
Its crystal clear that I'm searching for this guilty one
That could of left my work undone
And over looked one major possiblity"