[retelling] If only I had had the STEED… - Intermission 2: Voleur de Amour
The 2nd fictional story in the book opens with a dialogue: “Why does everyone keep doing that?” - “You have to say a prayer” - “Man, I don’t get this idolatry”.
The first speaker is named Benoah, the second - Lilian. They come up to a fence with a number of metal locks hung on it and start their disc grinders. Removing takes time; Benoah swears loudly, but his voice is drowned by the shrill sound of metal cutting through metal. He’s frustrated not just with the task itself: he and Lilian become villains in the eyes of the onlookers. People even take photos; his face is posted all over the SNS.
He keeps doing his job though, thinking to himself, “It’s still not as bad as that time.” A few years before that, when they were removing locks from Pont des Arts, it turned into a nightmare. Apart from curious onlookers reporters were present too, so the news spread quickly around the world, photo and video materials of him and Lilian circulated everywhere. Their pals made fun of them relentlessly, it was terrible. Since then it’s been reduced to a funny anecdote, however, those days were the most chaotic in Benoah’s life. A couple people watching them now was tolerable in comparison, although not pleasant either.
If they don’t remove the locks, the bridge will collapse right onto the road below, someone has to do that. Cutting them off used to cause him heartache in the beginning, but he came to see each lock as a euro sign, it was just a paid job, after all. The two men clear their respective sections of the metal grill. What’s left looks like lion sculptures put in frames. The way it used to be initially. Contrary to what others might feel, Benoah and Lilian get a sense of accomplishment. They take a break to have a smoke. Benoah suggests getting lunch together. Lilian says that a new brasserie opened near the waste disposal facility, and the veal bavette steaks are really good.
Benoah gets behind the wheel, Lilian falls asleep on the passenger sleep and begins snoring. As they arrive to the waste disposal facility, a man named Cedric comments on how quickly they finished the job. “As expected from Love Thieves.”
Cedriс and his workers unload the truck. Benoah and Lilian head to the brasserie but it’s too crowded, so they reluctantly opt for another café, apparently owned by someone called Jean-Baptiste. As they enter, they are greeted by “Salut” from a number of patrons. Tipsy Jean-Baptiste ushers them to a vacant table, asking if he should bring the usual. After they nod in lieu of “yes”, the two men are promptly served avocado and turkey sandwiches and white wine. They know the sandwiches are usually too dry and bland, but for some reason every time they expect to find some improvement. The wine is not bad though.
A lawyer named Guillaume asks, “Benoah, Lilian, have you placed your bets?” Lilian replies with, “Not yet”, and Guillaume passes them a newspaper where horse racing pages already carry a few markings, and says that number 9 is a dark horse while the ‘driver’ for number 12 has been doing great lately.
Cafés that have a PMU sign [Pari Mutuel Urbain] sell horse racing betting tickets, and both men often drop by this particular place. More specifically, they are into trotting, where horses pull a two-wheeled cart and the jockeys are called ‘drivers’. The trick is that the horse can’t move too fast, because two of its legs at a time must stay on the ground.
Lilian, who took a nap in the truck and seems invigorated, suggests going to the hippodrome. Benoah is too tired, but Lilian insists that since they do an important job, there must be some reward for that. Benoah reminds him that when they tried their luck after Pont des Arts job, it was a disaster. Their wives were furious. Lilian says they still should unwind a bit, otherwise they can’t continue working properly. Benoah’s got a hunch that he shouldn’t go to the racetrack.
All of a sudden Lilian closes his eyes and says that he forgot to get money back from Cedric, which could result in the gods of gambling abandoning him. Both men come back to the waste disposal facility to find Cedric.
The man calls them “Love Thieves” again; Lilian responds by pretending to shoot at him from an invisible rifle. The locks they collected are being melted in a huge furnace, in preparation to be made into new metal items afterwards. The locks that felt cold in Benoah’s hands have turned into hot red mass.
“Love is being boiled down”, Cedric comments.
Lilian says, “Sublimated.”
“Love is filling the emptiness, or something like that”, continues Benoah, closes his eyes and says a prayer [yes, the same man who commented on ‘idolatry’ at the beginning of the story].
Cedric asks what he’s doing. Lilian explains that they are going to the racetrack, so they should ask God to help their bets win.
“Like, piggybacking other people’s prayers. Weirdos, both of you.”
Cedric wants to tag along anyway. As he finishes his work for the day, all three men hop into the truck and head to the hippodrome. None of them knows yet that Benoah’s 10 euros are about to turn into 4812 euros.
The first speaker is named Benoah, the second - Lilian. They come up to a fence with a number of metal locks hung on it and start their disc grinders. Removing takes time; Benoah swears loudly, but his voice is drowned by the shrill sound of metal cutting through metal. He’s frustrated not just with the task itself: he and Lilian become villains in the eyes of the onlookers. People even take photos; his face is posted all over the SNS.
He keeps doing his job though, thinking to himself, “It’s still not as bad as that time.” A few years before that, when they were removing locks from Pont des Arts, it turned into a nightmare. Apart from curious onlookers reporters were present too, so the news spread quickly around the world, photo and video materials of him and Lilian circulated everywhere. Their pals made fun of them relentlessly, it was terrible. Since then it’s been reduced to a funny anecdote, however, those days were the most chaotic in Benoah’s life. A couple people watching them now was tolerable in comparison, although not pleasant either.
If they don’t remove the locks, the bridge will collapse right onto the road below, someone has to do that. Cutting them off used to cause him heartache in the beginning, but he came to see each lock as a euro sign, it was just a paid job, after all. The two men clear their respective sections of the metal grill. What’s left looks like lion sculptures put in frames. The way it used to be initially. Contrary to what others might feel, Benoah and Lilian get a sense of accomplishment. They take a break to have a smoke. Benoah suggests getting lunch together. Lilian says that a new brasserie opened near the waste disposal facility, and the veal bavette steaks are really good.
Benoah gets behind the wheel, Lilian falls asleep on the passenger sleep and begins snoring. As they arrive to the waste disposal facility, a man named Cedric comments on how quickly they finished the job. “As expected from Love Thieves.”
Cedriс and his workers unload the truck. Benoah and Lilian head to the brasserie but it’s too crowded, so they reluctantly opt for another café, apparently owned by someone called Jean-Baptiste. As they enter, they are greeted by “Salut” from a number of patrons. Tipsy Jean-Baptiste ushers them to a vacant table, asking if he should bring the usual. After they nod in lieu of “yes”, the two men are promptly served avocado and turkey sandwiches and white wine. They know the sandwiches are usually too dry and bland, but for some reason every time they expect to find some improvement. The wine is not bad though.
A lawyer named Guillaume asks, “Benoah, Lilian, have you placed your bets?” Lilian replies with, “Not yet”, and Guillaume passes them a newspaper where horse racing pages already carry a few markings, and says that number 9 is a dark horse while the ‘driver’ for number 12 has been doing great lately.
Cafés that have a PMU sign [Pari Mutuel Urbain] sell horse racing betting tickets, and both men often drop by this particular place. More specifically, they are into trotting, where horses pull a two-wheeled cart and the jockeys are called ‘drivers’. The trick is that the horse can’t move too fast, because two of its legs at a time must stay on the ground.
Lilian, who took a nap in the truck and seems invigorated, suggests going to the hippodrome. Benoah is too tired, but Lilian insists that since they do an important job, there must be some reward for that. Benoah reminds him that when they tried their luck after Pont des Arts job, it was a disaster. Their wives were furious. Lilian says they still should unwind a bit, otherwise they can’t continue working properly. Benoah’s got a hunch that he shouldn’t go to the racetrack.
All of a sudden Lilian closes his eyes and says that he forgot to get money back from Cedric, which could result in the gods of gambling abandoning him. Both men come back to the waste disposal facility to find Cedric.
The man calls them “Love Thieves” again; Lilian responds by pretending to shoot at him from an invisible rifle. The locks they collected are being melted in a huge furnace, in preparation to be made into new metal items afterwards. The locks that felt cold in Benoah’s hands have turned into hot red mass.
“Love is being boiled down”, Cedric comments.
Lilian says, “Sublimated.”
“Love is filling the emptiness, or something like that”, continues Benoah, closes his eyes and says a prayer [yes, the same man who commented on ‘idolatry’ at the beginning of the story].
Cedric asks what he’s doing. Lilian explains that they are going to the racetrack, so they should ask God to help their bets win.
“Like, piggybacking other people’s prayers. Weirdos, both of you.”
Cedric wants to tag along anyway. As he finishes his work for the day, all three men hop into the truck and head to the hippodrome. None of them knows yet that Benoah’s 10 euros are about to turn into 4812 euros.