Love as fresh as spring...
Title: Love as fresh as spring
Author: motubunu7
Genre: AU, Highschool, Fluff, Angst
Length: One-shot
Rating: PG-13
Type: Fanfic
Summary: Love is a beautiful feeling that erupts from within and glows with brilliant warmth, just like how the commencement of every spring season indicates the end of the harsh winter, filled with everything new and fresh. And the first-time lovers are like the new buds of new bloom in the particular season, the fresh and ever breathing spring season. Such a love bloomed this year too, well not exactly in spring but it still was as fresh and lovely as it could get.
A/N: My fic submission for Jaejoong's birthday fic contest.
Love as fresh as spring………..
Young blood, young love, young romance, it’s the age that does all these to an individual. No one has ever been able to run away or hide from it, the “thing” called love. It is a beautiful, stupendous feeling that both people and animals alike feel and show. The emotion runs high in the veins that define the situation of that particular individual being in love and harbouring feelings for that significant other. And once it catches one, it becomes very hard to forget. Like I said, no one can escape from it. And our dear Kim Jaejoong was no exception either.
He was head over heels in love with his one best friend whom he had known since the days when they used to run around in their diapers all around their play room. He was not very sure of it at the beginning, about what and how he felt for his best friend. He was confused because how he felt was not what a friend was supposed to feel for his other friend. He was not supposed to want to kiss his friend and hold hands and do things like what those couples in love do. But he just couldn’t help himself and so he drowned himself in his self-despair of unrequited love. When he first sorted out the possibility that maybe he liked his best friend he was horrified. He tried to avoid his “subject” of adoration for quite sometime but felt futile and crumbled at the hands of his heart’s desire that wanted nothing but to be loved by the person he loved.
It wasn’t anything out of ordinary. He had always craved for the undivided attention from his best friend, knowingly as well as unknowingly. Whenever he would see him with someone else, he would get jealous and not talk to him for days. And the situation didn’t help at all when they reached high school, an open ground filled with hormonal teenagers. Relationships were bound to form and the cycle of being in love and break-ups were bound to occur. He knew it, he knew it all. But still he would fire up for no particular reason and avoid his friend/love interest. He knew he was acting childish but his heart was really a stubborn organ that had a mind of its own.
What he hated the most was the fact that his best friend/love interest never rejected the advances made on him. In fact, he always accepted them and named them as his mile-stone for his preparation in being a man for a wider world out there, or for wide-opened-legs for him to take on, as per Jaejoong’s thoughts. But what he detested the most was the fact that he could never do all those things that those girls with their short skirts, fake long fluttering lashes, tissue-stuffed bra and definitely made-up irritatingly sweet voice could do; get his best friend’s/love interest’s attention, THE JUNG YUNHO’S attention.
Yes, you read it right. He was in love with a guy and this very crucial fact added on to his long list of miseries which also happened to top the list. He was gay, but only for Yunho and no one else. He was not even interested on anyone for that matter. He had eyes only for him. When he first realized this, the fact that he loved his best friend, he was horrified to say the least. He cried himself to sleep that day. The way he realized it was not a very beautiful memory that he would like to reminisce time and again. He had seen Yunho kiss a girl from their class and he for no valid reason wanted to slap that girl for kissing ‘HIS MAN’. And why in the hell he thought that, he had no idea. He just had an immense impulse to detach HIS Yunho and that fake bitch away from each other and shove that girl to the floor for daring to hit on his MAN. He cried because he couldn’t do all that. All he could do was watch them go at it, suck at each other’s faces while be unknown about the fact that his brown irises were flowing non-stop, his long beautiful lashes were then all wet. He had wanted to confess his immense love that he held for his friend but he never dared to; for the fear of losing his friend that loved him as his best friend, to the constant cry of his heart to go and tell him of his feeling that would only result to nothing but more heart-ache on his part and disgust and hatred for him on Yunho’s part. He would rather have what he felt hidden in the deepest core of his heart than to tell and never be able to speak to his friend. He took it all with a pinch of salt and thought of living things just the way they were and always had been; YUNHO AND JAEJOONG ARE NOTHING BUT BEST FRIENDS. He would smile and live by it and never let anyone know of his broken heart, his unrequited love for his best friend.
He was popular, no doubt, and everybody in the school wanted to court him. Jaejoong was a beautiful guy with soft features that gave off the aura of a noble prince who would maybe not be able to protect a damsel in distress but surely shower her with love and care and lay out his heart on his palm just to prove the decree of love he held for her. But he never went for any of the advances that were hinted to him which made him all the more desirable. But everybody was unknown about his secret and he planned to keep it that way.
His days were nothing special. He sat in the farthest corner of the classroom and segregated himself from the usual crowd, away from the prying eyes. He loved his solitary and the peace of mind he got from where he sat in his class. Why he sat there; away from all the people, you might wonder. Well, he had a very good reason to do so. From where he sat he could get a very good view of his crush. He always watched Yunho from his seat. He would watch his back, smile, think about the possibilities of them ever being together and living a happy life in what he named as his YUNJAE HEAVEN. He would occasionally blush at his haywire perverted thoughts and get a hard on all of a sudden. He would then curse himself for not being able to control his thoughts and later on not being able to walk. He would doodle around on his note-book. He would write Yunho’s name all over his note-book and draw hearts all around it. Every corner of his note-books held these cute little pictures of him and Yunho where he had drawn pictures of them kissing, hugging, holding hands, even to the extent of getting married, having kids and a happy family. His desires were sprawled all over his note-books that were far from being true but what he held closest to his heart. He would scribble his thoughts in romantic poetic lines which sang of nothing but the longing he had reared in his fragile heart that would shatter mercilessly any given moment, when and if, he is discovered.
I doodle, I scribble aimlessly.
And when I ponder upon, I see,
Your name written in every corner.
I lay my heartfelt love for you
In every pieces of paper……….
The golden boy of the era, the next chairman of the ever flourishing and leading company of the whole of Korea, Jung Yunho, was the most sought after teenager. He had quite the looks; one that of a Greek god with perfect face that had half the country swooning all over him. He loved all the attention given to him. But all he wanted was a certain someone’s attention. He did all those reckless things just to grab the attention of his love interest. He wanted the person to lose his cool and come and claim him as his, profess his love to him in an outburst so that the whole wide world would know of it. He was using reverse psychology to get the attention he wanted but all he got was those “uninterested” eyes. He felt all his attempts futile at just that one look and have all his plans go down the drain. How could he get KIM JAEJOONG to be his and only his if he never paid attention to him in a special manner, as more than just best friends? He loved him so much but at first he wanted to see the spark in Jaejoong’s eyes before he made any moves on him. But since he never saw any he felt helpless. Oh, only if he knew, if only…………
He always accepted the advances made on him. He never denied them because he didn’t want the girls to have a broken heart like him. But there was a limit to everything he did with them. He would just go out with them on dates and that’s all about it. But it’s the girls who were all clingy and wanted more than just a dinner with him which he could never offer. Then the girls would force themselves on him and “harass” him. He always got caught by Jaejoong at the wrong time and wrong position. Like this onetime when he was in nurse’s office and tending to his wound he got during one of his basketball practices and there just so happened to be the “queen bee” of their school who also by misfortune happened to have hots for our famous jock here. She forced kisses on him and tried to have a tonsil hockey match with him and no matter how much he tried to resist it, she just overpowered him. And from the corner of his eyes he could see Jaejoong watching them in lip lock. He couldn’t fathom the look in his eyes that he saw pass by in split second. Those cold eyes that tried too hard to mask his real feelings and failed big time to do so. That was the moment when he realized that maybe; maybe Jaejoong did like him; just like he always wanted, just like he always desired for.
After what seemed like ages, he was finally able to break free from the “black widow”. He shoved her on the bed harshly, muttered a hurried apology and ran out of the room. He searched for Jaejoong high and low, all around the school premise. He found him at last on the roof of the school. There he was, sitting all by himself and gazing at nothing in particular or maybe it was the setting sun, he didn’t know but he wanted to know. He wanted to know everything that ran in Jaejoong’s head. He wanted to see through his heart and know if he was in there claiming the most special place in there. He wanted to know how Jaejoong would feel if he told him of his love. Would he accept it? Or would he reject it? The constant fear of losing Jaejoong was what was eating at him. He never wanted to lose his Jaejoong, his precious Jaejoong.
“Hey, what are you doing here, all alone? You know I searched the entire school looking for you. Why did you come here anyway?”
Jaejoong just spared him a glance and went back to watching whatever he was watching before. He had that cold demeanour on his face that gave Yunho the chills but he was happy inside that at least Jaejoong cared.
“You know, what you saw a moment ago, it was nothing actually. She just…..”
“You don’t have to explain it to me, Yunho. It’s not like we are dating or anything and you are definitely not cheating on me. So, you don’t have to explain. It is all good. If you like her, you like her. And if you don’t then there are a lot of fishes out in the sea, right?”
Jaejoong just smiled his way out of the situation. He just didn’t care, did he? Well, two can play the same game. If he was going to be like that and that was how he saw of Yunho then he may as well act that way.
“You are right. I never thought of it that way but thanks man. No wonder you are my BEST FRIEND.”
Yunho emphasized on the word best friend and he was appalled to get the response.
“Yup, best friends for life.”
They sat in silence. Each contemplating their own trains of thought, their own overwhelmingly depressing emotions. They both wanted to voice out then and there that what they just said to each other was not what they felt and that they were sorry for their behavior. But there were also certain important things that held them back from saying out loud, so they let the unspoken words linger between them in silence and just enjoy each other’s company in an uncomfortable situation yet a comfortable relation they shared. At least, for now that is.
If only I could say and you knew,
Then right here, right now,
I would hug you and feel you,
And never let you go,
Embrace you then kiss you,
And love you even more.
So I close my eyes and no, not to sleep,
But whenever I enter that endless realm of empty abyss,
I want to dream only about you,
Have dreams only of you………….
It was Jaejoong’s last birthday as a high school student and then he would be ranked in the quota of adults. He was really excited for the day, his birthday. He had planned out a party for his birthday and he would invite his friends to celebrate his birthday. It was going to be the party of the year. Jaejoong’s parties were always hyped about. And the fact that only few people would get the invitation to his much talked about party made it all the more special. Students would kill to go to his parties and this time too, it was not anything different. He was holding the party on his private island where invitees would be ushered to by private helicopters. That was all that took for the students to swarm all around him like how bees swarm around a stalk of flower. He was the “queen” for the day and he may as well bask in his glory and not back out. He loved himself and he had all the rights to be the cold narcissist he was. He read out the names of the students who made it to his list and handed them their invitation cards. The ones who got them were elated and those who didn’t sulked away while Jaejoong went back to his secluded seat in the class and have the invited people fret over what to wear. He scoffed at the irony of the whole thing. He didn’t give a damn about all those petty things. He had better things to do.
He had Yunho’s invitation on his desk. He didn’t need that piece of paper to tell him that he was invited. But formality was what counted and he didn’t want to back away.
“Hey gorgeous, I heard you handed out the invitations to your birthday party.”
Jaejoong woke up with a startle as he was sleeping and dreaming of Yunho and felt that the Yunho in his dream came alive. Silly me, he thought to himself.
“Yeah, I did. Why?”
“Why? Yah, Kim Jaejoong, are you leaving me out? Am I not your friend anymore, hm?”
JAE’S POV:
Yes, you are not my friend anymore because you have become so much more than that. How can I say this to you? You might get disgusted of me and hate me for developing such feeling for you, least of all, same gender and harbouring such sinful thoughts of you and me. I am not only leading myself but dragging you too, along with me to the doors of hell. Forgive me Yunnie, but I really can’t stop loving you. You might even break off our friendship and I don’t want that to happen. I want you in my life, if not as a lover than at least as a friend. Will you accept me and be my lover or will you reject me and hate me for forever? I don’t want to lose our friendship ever. But I love you, Yunho.
END OF JAE’S POV
--------------------------------
“Hello, earth to Jaejoong. Hello!”
_____________________
YUN’S POV:
Why did you look at me like that Jae? Do you want to say something to me? If so then please do so, before it is too late. I have to know how you feel for me before I proceed because I won’t be able to collect my broken heart after loving you for so long. Please Jaejoong!
END OF YUN’S POV
“Oh, is that the invitation for me?”
“Why, yes, it is. Why didn’t you give it to me earlier, pabo? Thanks Joongie.”
He pecked Jaejoong on his cheek.
If Jae was not going to open up to him then he might just throw hints here and there. And he hoped from deep within his being that Jae gets it. Done that and he went back to his place. He looked back to see a blushing Jaejoong. He smiled at the cute gesture.
Jaejoong palmed his cheek touching the spot where his crush just kissed him. Was that a hint? Because that kiss came out of nowhere and he was really surprised and happy to say the least. He was back to his YUNJAE heaven, only this time it was fluffier and happier than before. Maybe this year he was finally getting what he had yearned for all along, he might get lucky in love this year.
Waiting for things to happen,
Strike me,
Amaze me,
And then just pass by,
Just like a comet!
Everybody was there. All the invitees were there and they were flaunting their attires and having a competition in showing off in the crowd of who’s who and Jaejoong was lost in the midst of his own friends. He was waiting for that special someone who was able to steal his heart. He had eyes spinning to the entrance of the tent every now and then. He would sigh every time his eyes failed to catch the glimpse of that tall and handsome stature of his crush, his Yunnie.
If you closed Yunho’s eyes, even then he would be able to recognize his Joongie. So there was no doubt that he would not be able to recognize that shining being among the myriad of people who were present to rejoice the day God sent one of his angels on earth to grace the mundane with them, just like him. He was happy that the angel that the Heaven lost now rests in his embrace.
“What took you so long? I thought the time was mentioned on the card.” Jaejoong pouted at Yunho for showing up late and for making him wait in dire anticipation. He hated to wait, Yunho knew that but he wanted to see if Jaejoong would still want to see him when he would be surrounded by so many people. And the way Jae had his eyes flicked at the entrance every now and then for his entrance was the best feeling he could have ever had.
They parted from their longing hug and just looked at each other’s eyes. There they saw many unspoken words that they wanted to tell each other and if the sparkle they had in their eyes didn’t convey the feelings in the fleeting seconds then you can call yourself a fool. They looked away from their transfixed gazes and blushed. When they turned away from each other, both of them had the same thought running in their head, had they had looked at each other’s eyes like this before then maybe they would not have gone through so much heartaches and self-denial. Then maybe, they would have seen the love they held for each other in unfathomable depth. Then maybe they would have been able to hear the desperate cries of their vulnerable hearts to set them free and let them high in emotions. They both became silent in sad contemplation about what just ran in their heads. But it was never too late and today they would confess their love, their feelings for each other. Negative thoughts be damned for tonight. It was now or never.
Jaejoong was about to go away for a while to tend to his other guests when he got pulled back in Yunho’s embrace. He let out a squeak of surprise. His head rested naturally on Yunho’s strong manly chest where his breaths came out in short gasps. He was elated to be there and he was nervous at the same time too. He was afraid that Yunho might hear his thumping heart. What was he feeling, even he didn’t know. It was like a whirlwind of emotions surging through him, in him. He leaned a bit more on Yunho’s embrace with a sweet smile gracing his face. He felt Yunho putting something around his neck. When he bent down his head to look, he saw a chain with a heart pendant resting on his bosoms. It was a really pretty pendant made up of platinum with a pair of small twin diamonds, one in white and the other in pink. He had tears in his eyes because this definitely meant something. Did this mean that Yunho felt the same as him? Call him dense in matters of heart but he needed it to make him believe that his eyes and heart were not deceiving him like always.
When he returned his head back on Yunho’s chest, his silent tears of silent appreciation leaked out on their own and wetted Yunho’s shirt. He shuddered when Yunho swept his hair on his nape and he felt the cold air hit him on that area. In order to calm his heart he took in whiffs of Yunho’s cologne and perfume, his most favourite scent in the whole wide world, the smell of his man, his love. He closed his eyes tight and clutched at Yunho’s jacket in a fist when he felt Yunho kiss him on his nape. His breath got caught in his throat. When the lingering kiss from Yunho’s lips lifted themselves from his nape, he looked up at Yunho’s face with tear streaked face and wide surprised eyes because of his bold moves. His heart was fluttering in delight, which was an understatement because right then he felt his heart go crazy at a very crazily fast beat when he felt Yunho’s lips on his lips. When his lips were let go, he had questioning eyes darted towards Yunho.
“Why was I late to get here, you asked me. I was late because I took all my time to search for the perfect gift for the perfect person I’ve come to know, KIM JAEJOONG. I was late because I was hiding at the entrance and standing there all along, looking at you, admiring you from a far, taking my own sweet time to approach you. I was even late to hold you in my arms and confess to you.”
“Yunho-ah……..” A teary eyed Jaejoong called out with broken and overwhelmed voice.
“This pendant here represents my heart Kim Jaejoong, and I am giving it to you today. I hope you treasure it with your life. I lay my heart on my open palms today for you to take, to have and to hold from this day onwards for days, months, years, lives, eons, eternity to come.”
By this time both of them were crying like crazy and the people around were looking at them with adoration and were awing at them every now and then.
Jaejoong took Yunho’s hands in his and held them tight, squeezed them, too scared to let go. He was afraid that this moment might end sooner than he anticipated. He prayed in his heart to let this be real and not some sick game that a fragment of his mind was playing. He was dumbstruck to say anything. Knowing the look on Jaejoong’s face too well Yunho leant forward and bit his nose hard. Jaejoong yelped in pain and scowled at Yunho.
“Yah, pabo, you still think this is your imagination, don’t you? This is real. I am confessing my love here and that is the look I get? Tch! So much for confessing my love to the one I love, aish.”
Jaejoong was smiling all along and this time he was assured that this definitely was no dream or his imagination. Everything was happening for real. He was getting a confession that he had initially planned to do. Yunho was real and he was telling him of his undying love and the people around who were watching everything were proofs enough to make him realize that he just got the best present on his birthday. This couldn’t have been any much better.
He stepped forward and softly kissed the lips of the now babbling Yunho to shut him up which definitely did the trick.
“So………are you willing to be my boyfriend?” Yunho asked with a silly grin tugging at his lips that he was trying really hard to conceal.
“Yah pabo, wasn’t the kiss I gave you just now enough answer?”
“Um……..nope. I want the real answer from your own mouth. I want the answers in words.”
“And whose mouth do you think that was which kissed you just now?”
“Please boo. Please with a cherry on the top.”
“Pfft, I don’t even like cherry.”
“Ok then with strawberry on the top.”
Jaejoong just rolled his eyes to stop the creeping blush on his cheeks that was threatening to surface.
“Aish, stubborn guy. Ok, yes, I’ll be your boyfriend. There, happy now?”
“Very”
Then they shared their first kiss, a sweet and long one to commemorate the start of their new relationship, as lovers; Just as fresh as spring.
Love is smoke made with the fume of forlorn sighs,
Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers’ eyes,
Getting drowned in the sea nourished with lovers’ tears.
What is it else?
A madness most discreet,
A choking gall and a preserving sweet.
______________________________________________________________________________
The newly formed couple was walking along the beach and the sea waves were hitting at their feet. They had their pants folded up to their knees, their shoes in their one hand while the other hand was clasped with each other. They were walking in silence. The only sounds heard were those of the sea waves, the music blasting off at the party venue, the cool night swishing wind, and their own calm and serene breaths. They had all the rights to breathe in relief after tormenting themselves for such a long time.
Jaejoong broke the stretching silence.
“Why now? Why all of a sudden?”
“Huh? What do you mean?”
Jaejoong raised his finely plucked eyebrow at him. Yunho laughed at the gesture because he knew what Jaejoong was asking and he was just teasing him, after all, old habits are hard to kick. But then he got serious and he had this really serious look on his face that Jaejoong had never seen before on Yunho and he was smitten by the manly feature of his now lover.
“I don’t know. I really don’t. But I had this nagging voice at the back of my head telling me that if I don’t tell it to you today then I may never be able to tell you ever again and might lose you in the long run. And I didn’t want to live in regrets, Joongie. I had to make you mine. In fact, I waited for you to show signs to me that you liked me as more than friends. Whenever I pondered in your eyes I never saw anything there for me. I saw nothing special for me. I always tried to know whether I was there in your heart and beating with the rhythm or not. And to be honest, I was always disappointed. There were times when I felt that you know, you liked me and you detested the fact that I was closer with someone else. I really thought I had seen the emotions in your eyes because your eyes never lie Joongie. They are the most expressive eyes I’ve ever seen. But it never showed me things that I desperately wanted to know.”
“So what gave me away?”
“Oh, many things. Like the feeling I felt during classes like as if someone was boring a hole on my back with their looks. The constant feeling of being watched, being ‘stalked’. Then there was this look you used to give me during my dance practices and the way you used to ogle at my naked upper half of the body. It used to seriously creep me out, you know. The way you used to watch me during my basketball practices. It felt like now any moment you will come out with pom-poms in your hands and start cheering for me. I have noticed trails of drool on your face too.”
“I DO NOT DROOL.”
“Yeah, keep saying that and one day I might believe you. Oh, and not to forget the way you used to look at only me in the group of our friends like you were some kind of a crazy fan girl. I could literally see hearts blinking in your eyes. Also your random spacing out sessions. What were you thinking all those times any way?”
“That is for me to keep and for you to never know.”
“But what gave you away were your note books.”
“My note books?”
“Yup. You have got to stop doodling on your note books. Those are for taking notes not for writing my names all over with hearts and drawings of us with holding hands, kissing and many more other cute stuffs. And, how come I never knew that you could write poems? You’ve become really secretive Joongie. So the point is, as much as I love you writing all those sweet things for me I have to ask you to stop because I don’t want our teachers to know about your ‘creativity’ and ‘grade’ you accordingly.”
Yunho was laughing his ass off while Jaejoong was fuming with anger.
“You went through my note books. How could you? Have you never heard of the word privacy, you jerk?”
“No, I didn’t. It was sprawled on the desk for the world to see and you had dozed off on your desk. I saw them. I couldn’t contain myself so I went through them more thoroughly and then what I could never see in your eyes, I saw it all on your note books.”
Yunho pouted after stating the truth.
“Ew, don’t make those faces. You look like a joker and no, you are not a handsome joker.”
Jaejoong finished for Yunho when he tried to intervene his speech. But he was smiling really wide.
“What? What? Do I have something on my face? Why are you smiling like that?”
“I didn’t know you took note of all the little things I do and you even remembered them precisely. Aw, Yunnie you are so cute. I love you.”
Jaejoong gushed out in a single breath.
“You just said you love me.”
“What? When? You probably heard it wrong.”
Jaejoong denied and turned his head the other way trying to hide his blooming blush.
“Aw, Joongie, I love you too.”
Jaejoong turned around abruptly and without prior notice kissed Yunho on his lips. He opened his eyes to see a wide-eyed Yunho who resembled a deer caught in headlights. At such a cute sight displayed from his boyfriend Jaejoong kept pecking Yunho’s lips with light kisses.
“You know baby, you are really a surprise package and I really love you. You are mine, only mine, and no one else’s. MY KIM JAEJOONG”
“Your confession was probably the best gift ever Yunnie and I too really love you. It was perfect, just simply perfect. Yes, I am yours and only yours as you are mine, only mine. MY JUNG YUNHO”
“But baby I am serious about you having to stop drooling over me. It is cute and all but all the more it is disgusting. And I don’t want to kiss a drooling mouth.”
Jaejoong stopped walking for a while. He turned his viciously glaring eyes towards Yunho. That was Yunho’s cue to run for his life.
“YAH, YOU JUNG PABO YUNHO, COME BACK HERE. SO MUCH TO RUIN SUCH A ROMANTIC MOMENT. YAH, YOU JERK, STOP RUNNING. AND I DO NOT DROOL.”
Yunho laughed away teasing Jaejoong and Jaejoong ran after Yunho to catch him for teasing him. They ran around the beach, chasing each other, bickering and teasing each other.
They were happy now and would be happy for days, months, years, lives, eons, eternity to come.
After every harsh enduring winter,
Comes a spring so lively,
Like the seed that penetrates the mud
Blooms forth a young bud.
The trials that a love sees,
Entangled in myriad of mysteries,
Eventually when the conqueror is pure love
At last, it is always love that conquers all above.
Even if the grey winter informs its arrival,
The enthusiastic spring fights through all over again,
The love like scarlet red only stays longer
If it had known to survive like the spring,
If it had known the romantic pain.
The lovers are now ready to take their flight,
As they spread their wings far and wide,
Like the new born birds in the spring
Flying away, heading towards their sole new beginning.
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The End