You Bleed Just To Know You're Alive...
Im going to tell you all something, and I hope that it doesnt go in one ear and out the other. I hope it sticks in your mind, for a long time, if not forever. Don't ever tell me that my life isnt bad enough to want to kill myself! You have no idea what its like for other people until youve walked a mile in their shoes. Im not saying that Im begging to die, but I am saying that if I do want to, its my choice. If I want to bitch about being depressed, Im going to fucking bitch about it. I dont need to be told to "Get over "self-conclusion."" Because the fact of the matter is that I dont need to get over it. And Im not going to. So if you have this thought in your mind, fine. But theres no need to be an asshole about it when you deliver your opinion on it.
Ill tell you right now that I havent been out of bed for more than 6 hours since Ive been home from New York. Yeah, thats shitty, and its weak, but being there, nothing can go wrong. Or so it seems. Ive read The Perks of Being A Wallflower and have never been so touched in my life. Because while I was reading it, it brought me some sort of serenity and made things better for the moment.
I dont know whats going to happen to Chris, and I dont want to think about it. But its in my mind constantly. My ship has sunk and Im at an all time low- drowning. I thought things were bad before, but now theyre just...not even explainable. The thought of loss is tainting my soul and Im praying that Ill get through this, and I dont know if I will. As crazy as it seems, Im hoping that they'll keep me at West Pines for awhile, because I cant stop hurting myself...but on the other hand, I dont want that because then Ill never know what happened.
Im hoping that my parents will go to the bar tonight after the football game. That way I can cut while theyre gone. I havent since like..Monday? And Im dying to...
Ill tell you right now that I havent been out of bed for more than 6 hours since Ive been home from New York. Yeah, thats shitty, and its weak, but being there, nothing can go wrong. Or so it seems. Ive read The Perks of Being A Wallflower and have never been so touched in my life. Because while I was reading it, it brought me some sort of serenity and made things better for the moment.
I dont know whats going to happen to Chris, and I dont want to think about it. But its in my mind constantly. My ship has sunk and Im at an all time low- drowning. I thought things were bad before, but now theyre just...not even explainable. The thought of loss is tainting my soul and Im praying that Ill get through this, and I dont know if I will. As crazy as it seems, Im hoping that they'll keep me at West Pines for awhile, because I cant stop hurting myself...but on the other hand, I dont want that because then Ill never know what happened.
Im hoping that my parents will go to the bar tonight after the football game. That way I can cut while theyre gone. I havent since like..Monday? And Im dying to...