"victory is MINE!"
nobody likes getting calls from telemarketers - especially the ones that act as if they're calling about some top secret issue of national security and won't give you any CLUE as to what they're selling when you ask to take a message for the person who (invariably) "isn't home at the moment"...
every once in a while though, y'get yerself some satisfaction.
(phone rings)
me: hello
southern accent: hello, my i speak to (badly-butchered what_do_we_know's name)?
me: she's not in at the moment, may i take a message?
southern accent: okay, we'll call back later.
anybody who's ever dealt with creditors knows that this is the tack they take. i'm on my guard...
me: can i tell her who's calling?
southern accent: david's bridal. we'll call her at another time.
phew! ok, not a creditor. ...i don't think...?
me: oh, well she's already got her wedding dress. she doesn't need another one.
southern accent: it's not about wedding dresses. we'll call her back at another time.
(at this point i'm thinking "shit, we paid for that dress, right? in cash money? why is she being so secretive and persistent? is this a credit issue? WTF?")
me: oh. then can i tell her what this is in reference to?
southern accent: (pause) tuxedos.
(aha! was that so fucking hard?)
me: oh. well she's marrying a woman - we don't need tuxedos either, thanks.
southern accent all as one word: alright-well-congratulations-enjoy-your-special-day- and-thank-you-very-much-for-choosing-david's-bridal- y'all-have-a-good-evening-now(click)
that's right, bitch. and just as you apparently fear, homosexuality is contagious over the phone so don't call back now, y'hear?
every once in a while though, y'get yerself some satisfaction.
(phone rings)
me: hello
southern accent: hello, my i speak to (badly-butchered what_do_we_know's name)?
me: she's not in at the moment, may i take a message?
southern accent: okay, we'll call back later.
anybody who's ever dealt with creditors knows that this is the tack they take. i'm on my guard...
me: can i tell her who's calling?
southern accent: david's bridal. we'll call her at another time.
phew! ok, not a creditor. ...i don't think...?
me: oh, well she's already got her wedding dress. she doesn't need another one.
southern accent: it's not about wedding dresses. we'll call her back at another time.
(at this point i'm thinking "shit, we paid for that dress, right? in cash money? why is she being so secretive and persistent? is this a credit issue? WTF?")
me: oh. then can i tell her what this is in reference to?
southern accent: (pause) tuxedos.
(aha! was that so fucking hard?)
me: oh. well she's marrying a woman - we don't need tuxedos either, thanks.
southern accent all as one word: alright-well-congratulations-enjoy-your-special-day- and-thank-you-very-much-for-choosing-david's-bridal- y'all-have-a-good-evening-now(click)
that's right, bitch. and just as you apparently fear, homosexuality is contagious over the phone so don't call back now, y'hear?