(no subject)
I was down in Maryland today and amazed at how different it is just a few miles over the Mason-Dixon line--it's really like crossing into another world . . . particularly when you travel there from Amish Country, which is like jumping centuries, too.
Some thoughts:
*The Maryland psyche mystifies me. Why can these people not grasp the concept of an entrance? Even when it comes to the largest stores, the only way in is by following an access road next to a dumpster. And what's up with the Roundabouts? Where are we, Essex?
* It looks just like Pennsylvania, except for all the signs for crab products and the palpable feeling in the air of naked racism.
*I felt really weirded out by all the friendliness. I picked up some wine and, in the liquor store, got called "honey"; I also had not one, but two store employees try to help me load stuff into my car. I was, like, totally freaked, like I wanted to just smack them and scream "No! Get away! What do you want from me? You can't help me load this into my car, fuck you!"
* I stopped by a grocery store and was amused that they had soap products (shampoo, detergent, hand soap, etc) shelved right next to all the designer water--as if I'm going to wash my hair with Perrier? Also, here's something you would NEVER find in Amish Country: in the frozen food section down there in decadent, Catholic Maryland, all the diet stuff (Lean Cuisine, etc.) was shelved right next to the Hagan-Dazs, as if to suggest indulgence followed by penitence. Up here with the stiff-backed Mennonites, it would ONLY be penitence. It's kind of like fabric softener--you can't get good fabric softener here in Amish Country to save your life. People view it warily, as if it's somehow sinful to have nice-smelling detergent AND nice-smelling fabric softener together. But down there in deviant Maryland, there was a whole AISLE full of fabric softener. I was like, what's next? Orgies? Rock n' roll? Putting on horned goat masks and dancing naked before some smoldering pagan tiki god?
These Southerners. No wonder they lost the war.
Some thoughts:
*The Maryland psyche mystifies me. Why can these people not grasp the concept of an entrance? Even when it comes to the largest stores, the only way in is by following an access road next to a dumpster. And what's up with the Roundabouts? Where are we, Essex?
* It looks just like Pennsylvania, except for all the signs for crab products and the palpable feeling in the air of naked racism.
*I felt really weirded out by all the friendliness. I picked up some wine and, in the liquor store, got called "honey"; I also had not one, but two store employees try to help me load stuff into my car. I was, like, totally freaked, like I wanted to just smack them and scream "No! Get away! What do you want from me? You can't help me load this into my car, fuck you!"
* I stopped by a grocery store and was amused that they had soap products (shampoo, detergent, hand soap, etc) shelved right next to all the designer water--as if I'm going to wash my hair with Perrier? Also, here's something you would NEVER find in Amish Country: in the frozen food section down there in decadent, Catholic Maryland, all the diet stuff (Lean Cuisine, etc.) was shelved right next to the Hagan-Dazs, as if to suggest indulgence followed by penitence. Up here with the stiff-backed Mennonites, it would ONLY be penitence. It's kind of like fabric softener--you can't get good fabric softener here in Amish Country to save your life. People view it warily, as if it's somehow sinful to have nice-smelling detergent AND nice-smelling fabric softener together. But down there in deviant Maryland, there was a whole AISLE full of fabric softener. I was like, what's next? Orgies? Rock n' roll? Putting on horned goat masks and dancing naked before some smoldering pagan tiki god?
These Southerners. No wonder they lost the war.