Lost for you, I'm so lost for you
So, I saw Dave Matthews Band last night. Yes. I said I saw Dave Matthews Band last night. It was amazing. I lost my car keys, got stuck in crazy traffic and got pulled over for speeding...but it was great.
I am broke. I have no money. It's fine though. The money I had went towards good things, and I'm working the rest of this week. My mom wants to pay my speeding ticket, but I'm a big girl. I can do it myself. I should just let her, really, but I can't. I can't ask her for money or anything without feeling guilty about it. She's got things she needs to pay for also.
I feel like I have so much to do, but really, I don't. I just don't feel like doing any of the things I have to do, and I feel like doing tons of things that I don't have to. I suppose that's always how it goes though, isn't it?
Is it weird that even though this is my journal, and I actually have a journal that I write in, I never feel comfortable putting my feelings into either of them?
I feel like I'm always compromising. I mean, I guess everyone is, but I can't help but feel like I could have it all. Reality tells me I can't, but I can't help but feeling like with every choice I make, I'm losing out on something else. I hate not knowing what is the right choice versus what is the wrong choice. I'm only confident in one area of my life at the moment, and it's not that I'm confident in things working the way I want them to, I'm just confident in knowing that it's what I want. Every other area though, I have no idea what I want or how things are going to work out. Am I nervous? Hell yes I am. It's okay though, it's only life. It's got no choice but to work out somehow.
I guess I just feel like I'm waiting for the right moment to make all of the choices that I know I need to make. I hope that moment comes soon, because I'm lost.
I am broke. I have no money. It's fine though. The money I had went towards good things, and I'm working the rest of this week. My mom wants to pay my speeding ticket, but I'm a big girl. I can do it myself. I should just let her, really, but I can't. I can't ask her for money or anything without feeling guilty about it. She's got things she needs to pay for also.
I feel like I have so much to do, but really, I don't. I just don't feel like doing any of the things I have to do, and I feel like doing tons of things that I don't have to. I suppose that's always how it goes though, isn't it?
Is it weird that even though this is my journal, and I actually have a journal that I write in, I never feel comfortable putting my feelings into either of them?
I feel like I'm always compromising. I mean, I guess everyone is, but I can't help but feel like I could have it all. Reality tells me I can't, but I can't help but feeling like with every choice I make, I'm losing out on something else. I hate not knowing what is the right choice versus what is the wrong choice. I'm only confident in one area of my life at the moment, and it's not that I'm confident in things working the way I want them to, I'm just confident in knowing that it's what I want. Every other area though, I have no idea what I want or how things are going to work out. Am I nervous? Hell yes I am. It's okay though, it's only life. It's got no choice but to work out somehow.
I guess I just feel like I'm waiting for the right moment to make all of the choices that I know I need to make. I hope that moment comes soon, because I'm lost.