the devil may give the best advice, but just wait till she rips your throat out as payment.

[motion_]

i never knew until that moment what it was like to lose something i never really had.

I hate somtimes. I hate with a passion sometimes. I hate that I live in my own little world, filled with imaginary characters, filled with imaginary tasks, filled with imaginary love stories. I hate that I'm the most selfish person I know. I hate that everybody else is supposed to suffer, whereas I don't let myself. I hate little girls who fuck men they can't handle. I hate that I never do anything about anything. I hate that I'll always run back. I hate that I can't go a single day without saying "what if". I hate that my bestfriend is a million miles away from me. I hate that I can't stop thinking about the past. I hate lyra for not finishing her journey in my mind, I assume she must hate me too. I hate dust. I hate intercision. I hate so many things I forget who& what I am supposed to be hating first. I hate that I'm too proud to just let go. I hate that he's mine& there's nothing I can do about it. I hate her. I hate him. I hate myself sometimes, but not enough to let it get to me.

i wish i could stop all of this hate.