MothWentBad News: Atheists Continue to Denounce Bulletproof Scientific Theory
Even now, over a decade since the inception of Intelligent Design theory, atheists everywhere continue their losing fight against ID, still clinging to the half-baked and outdated idea of evolution as proposed by some old cook Charles Darwin back in the 1850's. I mean, back then, we still believed in the aether and shit, for Christ's sake.
The modern theory of Intelligent Design, championed by William Dembski, Michael Behe, and virtually the entire scientific community goes roughly like this: This shit totally couldn't've made itself, so we should give up on ever trying to understand it naturalistically ever, whether it's already understood or not.
"It's bad enough that God was added to the pledge in the 50's", said one narrow-minded ID opponent. "But now... this God, who ironically wanted nothing more than to let us mind our own business, is being crammed down the throats of children all over the country!".
If you'll recall, the phrase "under God" was added to the Pledge of the United States of America in 1954 with the approval of then-president Dwight D. Eisenhower for the purpose of differentiating the Americans, who believed in an all-powerful God who created the Universe and then abandoned it (much like a kid who didn't clean out his auger dish after the Biology science fair), from the Russian Communists, who believed in no God at all. This masterful stroke of genius is ultimately what brought America back to its Jeffersonian Deist roots and tore down the infamous Iron Curtain.
"It disgusts me", said another paranoid atheist. "I want the sharpened tools of the scientific method to guide our society in the new century because there is no God, not because there is a God, but one who doesn't care. And it frightens me that people act as if there is actually any reason at all to believe in such a thing. I swear, if I hear 'God doesn't give a rat's ass' one more time, I'm going to hurl. I mean, it sort of is true that God doesn't give a rat's ass, but it's vacuously true because of the false presupposition of existence implicit in 'God gives a rat's ass'... but that's not what they mean, generally. They mean something fouler and more sinister by that."
But ID is clearly winning. While the ID following has doubled several times since its inception in 1991, the support for evolution has barely grown at all. The consensus is in: clearly there is a God... and He simply doesn't give a rat's ass.
But Dembski cautions us all not to jump to conclusions based on his small ocean of experimental data:
"I mean, I'm just saying that the number of Gods is a positive integer less than two. But I certainly wouldn't be so bold as to claim to know what the exact number of Gods is."
And then Dembski winked for effect, almost as if part of his statement were not to be taken at face value.
The modern theory of Intelligent Design, championed by William Dembski, Michael Behe, and virtually the entire scientific community goes roughly like this: This shit totally couldn't've made itself, so we should give up on ever trying to understand it naturalistically ever, whether it's already understood or not.
"It's bad enough that God was added to the pledge in the 50's", said one narrow-minded ID opponent. "But now... this God, who ironically wanted nothing more than to let us mind our own business, is being crammed down the throats of children all over the country!".
If you'll recall, the phrase "under God" was added to the Pledge of the United States of America in 1954 with the approval of then-president Dwight D. Eisenhower for the purpose of differentiating the Americans, who believed in an all-powerful God who created the Universe and then abandoned it (much like a kid who didn't clean out his auger dish after the Biology science fair), from the Russian Communists, who believed in no God at all. This masterful stroke of genius is ultimately what brought America back to its Jeffersonian Deist roots and tore down the infamous Iron Curtain.
"It disgusts me", said another paranoid atheist. "I want the sharpened tools of the scientific method to guide our society in the new century because there is no God, not because there is a God, but one who doesn't care. And it frightens me that people act as if there is actually any reason at all to believe in such a thing. I swear, if I hear 'God doesn't give a rat's ass' one more time, I'm going to hurl. I mean, it sort of is true that God doesn't give a rat's ass, but it's vacuously true because of the false presupposition of existence implicit in 'God gives a rat's ass'... but that's not what they mean, generally. They mean something fouler and more sinister by that."
But ID is clearly winning. While the ID following has doubled several times since its inception in 1991, the support for evolution has barely grown at all. The consensus is in: clearly there is a God... and He simply doesn't give a rat's ass.
But Dembski cautions us all not to jump to conclusions based on his small ocean of experimental data:
"I mean, I'm just saying that the number of Gods is a positive integer less than two. But I certainly wouldn't be so bold as to claim to know what the exact number of Gods is."
And then Dembski winked for effect, almost as if part of his statement were not to be taken at face value.