Ex #1 reconnected with me after five years through the MyBarackObama website and was appropriately apologetic. When I met up with him he was sober and honestly would fit in wonderfully with my current friends, which both validated the fact that I really had seen something in him that really REALLY HAD BEEN THERE, and reminded me of just how little of this I had gotten to be around while he was struggling with drugs. I was glad to have met up with him and I'm glad that we're on good terms instead of "I'm going to pretend you no longer exist for my own good" terms. Despite the fact that I needed five years of zero contact, if he lived in the same city as us rather than the nearby one, I would happily have him around my social group. Now, just because I have sort of reached a place of peace with the misery he caused me doesn't mean that the people who love me have, but I wouldn't mind introducing them to the guy I spent two years trying to keep together, particularly now that they actually are likely to meet him and really meet him, not the addict who was poisoning him.
Ex #2 has a seven year old son now by the woman he got with after he blamed me for "destroying his destiny" (which was to be locked in a knot of suicide attempts with a woman who had been cheating on him for most of his relationship with her with the guy she'd later marry). I told him that I didn't want kids and that he'd be required to use a condom, and this was the dealbreaker for me whereas the suicide attempts and inevitable cheating were not for whatever reason. I don't have contact with him because his lady knew he needed to be kept on a short leash and was not happy that he was still in touch with me. Given his history, and given the fact that she had no way of knowing I was any different from his first manipulative whacko girlfriend, I think she made a good call and I hope she's keeping him happily heeled.
I don't really talk to the woman Brian dated before me, though we have talked and certainly have no issues with one another. His first ex, though? I talk to her more than he does (mostly on Facebook). She's great and sent me a fantastic book about being a black woman in the US that I loved.
His significant others seem to have been much less toxic than mine.
Cool, thanks for that. It's remarkable that #1 pulled himself together. I don't really know how drama comes at some people and not others. Or whether I'm immune or just overdue.
Ex #2 has a seven year old son now by the woman he got with after he blamed me for "destroying his destiny" (which was to be locked in a knot of suicide attempts with a woman who had been cheating on him for most of his relationship with her with the guy she'd later marry). I told him that I didn't want kids and that he'd be required to use a condom, and this was the dealbreaker for me whereas the suicide attempts and inevitable cheating were not for whatever reason. I don't have contact with him because his lady knew he needed to be kept on a short leash and was not happy that he was still in touch with me. Given his history, and given the fact that she had no way of knowing I was any different from his first manipulative whacko girlfriend, I think she made a good call and I hope she's keeping him happily heeled.
I don't really talk to the woman Brian dated before me, though we have talked and certainly have no issues with one another. His first ex, though? I talk to her more than he does (mostly on Facebook). She's great and sent me a fantastic book about being a black woman in the US that I loved.
His significant others seem to have been much less toxic than mine.
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