He's Only Human!

[mothwentbad]

Hey, everyone! Haggard is 'completely heterosexual' now!

First of all, who wants to place bets? Second of all, who wants to take on the refutation challenge? I'm looking at you, solomoxenYeah, so isn't that just wonderful? Now Ted Haggard has gone astray, wandered from the straight and narrow just like King David once did, we all get to forgive him like

Comments

[bec_87rb]

I guess as long as he gives up sex with men, he qualifies. I mean, I'd give him his Heterosexual Union card back.

[mothwentbad]

I believe Mark Twain said something about smoking once...

[bec_87rb]

What did he say? That "a smoke is a good walk spoiled"? No, wait, that wasn't it.

Well, it says right here on the back of my Heterosexual Local#69 card, that I just have to refrain from having sex with people of my gender, and pay the dues, to stay current. Are there some fine print by-laws I missed? I haven't been to a HU meeting in just years, so I might not be au courant. ;p

[mothwentbad]

"It's easy to quit smoking. I've done it thousands of times."

[bec_87rb]

Ah! Yes! *nods* Too true, Mark Twain had that unfortunate habit under which he used to smoke too many gay masseuses, didn't he? And even though his doctors advised against it, he always had a few stashed about his person, so he could smoke gay masseuses in the lazy evening air, strolling along the Mississippi ...

[mothwentbad]

Whoa! He was into bestiality, too?

[bec_87rb]

Not sure, actually. I was a person at the time, and I know he didn't have any sex with me, nor did he smoke anything with me that I recall. We need to ask someone who was a sheep or a horse at the time, maybe? It's a puzzler.

[mothwentbad]

I'm calling off the joke. Masseuse/Mastiff is a bit too much of a stretch, I think. Thank you for playing, though.