How is it possible....
...To feel like such a failure and yet at the same time be completely content to wait and see how things in motion are panning out?
I miss my old friends. I miss the friends I made at Uni. I miss York.
I love my new job (despite disagreements with managing system). I love the new friends i've made at work.
I'm definately going to get back into college next year and sort out my NVQ which will hopefully get me into the carework I want to go into.
This year I'm going away to the states. I'm going to meet up with Rae, Nikki and maybe Craig in San Antonio. Then I'm going up to see Rick and Lisa in California.
It *will* be good. Next year I'm saving for college (I want to be able to pay my tuition off quickly and easily) and learn to drive.
I also *will* be off these tablets.
...That said, I can't help but feel..."less" then those people I used to know who are running off doing all these spectacular things that I don't have a hope in hell of doing. Let's face it, I'm just not that bright. Not bright enough or have enough money to go do another degree (which I would love to do). Not motivated enough or confident enough to persue a career that could be wonderful instead of just settling for one.
I think I'm emotionally schizophrenic.
Oh! Reminds me, since I think I shall be heading to Bar 69 (I'm saying nothing more...) next weekend, expect embarassing pictures here XD
I miss my old friends. I miss the friends I made at Uni. I miss York.
I love my new job (despite disagreements with managing system). I love the new friends i've made at work.
I'm definately going to get back into college next year and sort out my NVQ which will hopefully get me into the carework I want to go into.
This year I'm going away to the states. I'm going to meet up with Rae, Nikki and maybe Craig in San Antonio. Then I'm going up to see Rick and Lisa in California.
It *will* be good. Next year I'm saving for college (I want to be able to pay my tuition off quickly and easily) and learn to drive.
I also *will* be off these tablets.
...That said, I can't help but feel..."less" then those people I used to know who are running off doing all these spectacular things that I don't have a hope in hell of doing. Let's face it, I'm just not that bright. Not bright enough or have enough money to go do another degree (which I would love to do). Not motivated enough or confident enough to persue a career that could be wonderful instead of just settling for one.
I think I'm emotionally schizophrenic.
Oh! Reminds me, since I think I shall be heading to Bar 69 (I'm saying nothing more...) next weekend, expect embarassing pictures here XD