Re: I felt sorry for the minotaur as a kidmothraaMay 4 2011, 02:04:24 UTC
ohhhh hi stella! you know, i was thinking i shouldn't let this blog languish. i have stuff on my web site, but i put all this stuff on facebook i should put here, too. lots of poems/doggerel and zillions of links:-) i always thought a lot of the "monsters" were cool & liked them, like the harpies and scylla and charybdis, and frankenstein's monster and dracula and zombies etc. speaking of zombies, did you ever see the move "black orpheus"? i love all these little details there, like the ascent to hell is through an office building and a big floor fan is blowing papers around. and the original silent dracuala ---aaaaaiiiieeee it is so scary with the right music - i saw it once when a guy playing guitar did the accompaniment and he was really good and some parts just give you the willies, like when he pops up out of his coffin on the ship. eeeek. i also like the aliens in "alien" and the rest of that franchise. and mothra! in sf in the 70s some of us had monster names, and i'm mothraa, and billy still calls me that, like a loving nickname. i think i'll try to update my livejournal soon :-) i have been feeling terrible. how are you doing? i feel so weird about snappy dying - here he cut me off and i was so hurt plus surprised/dumbfounded/taken aback, and then a couple years later he called and we made up and then he died. wtf kind of fate is that? i've had a couple other things like that happen,like i was mad at reggie and then he died so how do i make up? and tomata du plenty - we lost track of each other (moved, lost addresses etc)for years and then found each other and reconnected and he died about 6 months later. i feel kind of cheated and kind of guilty. and now i am devastated by my best friend juan dumping me. he is irrational, he is schizophrenic and has been in the hospital quite a few times and now he's on the wrong medications that make him mean. he used to be my best friend for 5 years and the sweetest nicest person i knew but how he's a creep, on haldol, it isn't the right drug for him. it isn't even working for the things he's taking it for, but he has no health insurance so goes to this place for down and out people and haldol is the cheapest drug. i sure wish we had universal health care here. capitalism sucks in a lot of ways... but he has cut me off, and a bunch of his other friends are upset, too, like one of his best friends said "juan is dead. i miss the old juan". that's how i feel too and i am taken aback by how much this has affected me. when he isn't on haldol, he's my best friend, and when he is on haldol he is a mean thug and says we aren't friends at all. it breaks my heart. i was in the mental hospital twice now, mainly because i can't "wrap my mind" around juan totally rejecting me and i miss him so much, the nice non-haldol juan. and have days where i just spend all day drinking gin and taking pills and crying. i've never been such a mess before, even with equally, maybe worse things happening. i don't know... but anyway, i just dumped that on you and sorry if i made you feel bad, and feel free to dump any thoughts and feelings on me, good or bad. it's ok. feel free. i always thought you were really cool, and it's so odd (in a nice way) how somebody far from san francisco would become like the curator and archivist of the cockettes. it is a wonderful thing you are doing and i am so glad. i'm glad i got to be in touch with you. if you ever come to madison wisconsin (uh, i know it's kind of a slight chance) you can stay with me. love wendy xxxxoooo <3
Re: I felt sorry for the minotaur as a kidkid_pyramidMay 6 2011, 23:23:17 UTC
Ooowee, it's 2 am over here. I just came home from a gay bar that I hadn't been to since 2001.
After I saw Reggie in the Cockettes documentary and in your photos and then when I saw Juan, I felt like they were really alike, if not spiritually/mentally, then at least physically. They both had/have burning piercing eyes. You seem to be a magnet for fiery and far out people. I'm sorry you've got burnt by all these people. I know how that feels and at this point of my life I can say that I find it extremely hard to let any new people close to me because all the old ones have exploited our friendship and used me. It's hard to trust anyone anymore.
You said I could dump my feelings on you so I will.
In recent years I've begun to feel like everything is worthless and death is such a horrible trip that I've stopped living altogether. I stay at home watching movies and listening to old records, longing for the past. I've never dated anyone, never had sex. Modern kids and their fads leave me cold. It's as if everyone is trying to re-invent the wheel, in terms of music and films. Everything is airbrushed and false. I stopped caring about my health and have now eaten so much junk that I look something like Mama Cass Elliot's kid sister. I indulge in amphetamines and alcohol, even though I know all that shit is putting a strain on my sad little heart. I wish a lot of things were different. I wish I could fly over to Wisconsin and then the two of us could talk talk talk. I sure as hell need someone good and fantastic to talk with.
hi stella!
you know, i was thinking i shouldn't let this blog languish. i have stuff on my web site, but i put all this stuff on facebook i should put here, too. lots of poems/doggerel and zillions of links:-)
i always thought a lot of the "monsters" were cool & liked them, like the harpies and scylla and charybdis, and frankenstein's monster and dracula and zombies etc.
speaking of zombies, did you ever see the move "black orpheus"? i love all these little details there, like the ascent to hell is through an office building and a big floor fan is blowing papers around. and the original silent dracuala ---aaaaaiiiieeee it is so scary with the right music - i saw it once when a guy playing guitar did the accompaniment and he was really good and some parts just give you the willies, like when he pops up out of his coffin on the ship. eeeek. i also like the aliens in "alien" and the rest of that franchise. and mothra! in sf in the 70s some of us had monster names, and i'm mothraa, and billy still calls me that, like a loving nickname.
i think i'll try to update my livejournal soon :-)
i have been feeling terrible. how are you doing? i feel so weird about snappy dying - here he cut me off and i was so hurt plus surprised/dumbfounded/taken aback, and then a couple years later he called and we made up and then he died. wtf kind of fate is that? i've had a couple other things like that happen,like i was mad at reggie and then he died so how do i make up? and tomata du plenty - we lost track of each other (moved, lost addresses etc)for years and then found each other and reconnected and he died about 6 months later. i feel kind of cheated and kind of guilty. and now i am devastated by my best friend juan dumping me. he is irrational, he is schizophrenic and has been in the hospital quite a few times and now he's on the wrong medications that make him mean. he used to be my best friend for 5 years and the sweetest nicest person i knew but how he's a creep, on haldol, it isn't the right drug for him. it isn't even working for the things he's taking it for, but he has no health insurance so goes to this place for down and out people and haldol is the cheapest drug. i sure wish we had universal health care here. capitalism sucks in a lot of ways... but he has cut me off, and a bunch of his other friends are upset, too, like one of his best friends said "juan is dead. i miss the old juan". that's how i feel too and i am taken aback by how much this has affected me. when he isn't on haldol, he's my best friend, and when he is on haldol he is a mean thug and says we aren't friends at all. it breaks my heart. i was in the mental hospital twice now, mainly because i can't "wrap my mind" around juan totally rejecting me and i miss him so much, the nice non-haldol juan. and have days where i just spend all day drinking gin and taking pills and crying. i've never been such a mess before, even with equally, maybe worse things happening. i don't know...
but anyway, i just dumped that on you and sorry if i made you feel bad, and feel free to dump any thoughts and feelings on me, good or bad. it's ok. feel free. i always thought you were really cool, and it's so odd (in a nice way) how somebody far from san francisco would become like the curator and archivist of the cockettes. it is a wonderful thing you are doing and i am so glad. i'm glad i got to be in touch with you. if you ever come to madison wisconsin (uh, i know it's kind of a slight chance) you can stay with me.
love
wendy xxxxoooo <3
Reply
I just came home from a gay bar that I hadn't been to since 2001.
After I saw Reggie in the Cockettes documentary and in your photos and then when I saw Juan, I felt like they were really alike, if not spiritually/mentally, then at least physically. They both had/have burning piercing eyes. You seem to be a magnet for fiery and far out people.
I'm sorry you've got burnt by all these people. I know how that feels and at this point of my life I can say that I find it extremely hard to let any new people close to me because all the old ones have exploited our friendship and used me. It's hard to trust anyone anymore.
You said I could dump my feelings on you so I will.
In recent years I've begun to feel like everything is worthless and death is such a horrible trip that I've stopped living altogether. I stay at home watching movies and listening to old records, longing for the past. I've never dated anyone, never had sex.
Modern kids and their fads leave me cold. It's as if everyone is trying to re-invent the wheel, in terms of music and films. Everything is airbrushed and false.
I stopped caring about my health and have now eaten so much junk that I look something like Mama Cass Elliot's kid sister. I indulge in amphetamines and alcohol, even though I know all that shit is putting a strain on my sad little heart.
I wish a lot of things were different.
I wish I could fly over to Wisconsin and then the two of us could talk talk talk. I sure as hell need someone good and fantastic to talk with.
Reply
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