(no subject)
MON.FEB.07.05.2:21PM
The weather is pretty but life is shit.
...
What am I saying? I feel like where I was when I was fourteen when, upon attending class very rarely, I would make stickers that said "I TAKE PROZAC!" in speech bubbles coming from smiley faces. I need to stop manufacturing my own irony. The truth is this: the weather, though currently pretty, is always uncertain in this shithole just as life has gotten to be very uncertain as well. I don't know if it's shit. Perhaps so, because my direction is getting more and more unconventional, but who's to say that my parents' state jobs are indicative of success?
Hypocrites. They've told me that life is useless if one is not constantly helping others, yet when I bring up Americorps, they bring up salary instantly. I could do it anyway. But I don't even need a job focused on helping people to help people. Why not go by the individual? Why not be that person in the coffee shops who strikes up odd conversations with strangers, brightens days, recommends mind blowing books?
Hypocrites, Part II. They go on and on in middleschool about the different varieties and facets of intelligence, yet when it comes down to it, all that seems to matter are those four+ years of university education. Why do they give us all these forms of idealism just to strip it away from us? Through half-truths, lies, or just irrelevant things? In elementary school and preschool, we're told we can be anything we want to be. Doctors, lawyers, firefighters -- those are all very popular. But what isn't flushed away by societal "standards" is made an impossibility by money. It's like a fine print they ingrain into our common sense, which I suppose is common enough but all too sensible for my taste.
People like me don't make it too far in life. People like them look down on people like me. People like me make slight difference in their eyes. People like me, according to people like them, should be excluded from that whitepicketfence-2.5children-AllAmericanDream type thing. Happiness for people like me is minute, inconsequential, and irrelevant just because it is unconventional.
What the fuck just happened? In the eternal words of that awful movie, Kids.
I was that kid, that 4.0 student, that bright one with the bright future. Dropping out of school three years later. Huh? What the fuck? I suppose I'll make the best of it. There's no turning back now. No way I can become a lawyer anymore. There are other options, they just weren't well advertised. And thank god there aren't any Jerry Springer shows for "We Used To Compete Over How High Over 100% We Could Get In Class And I Always Kicked Your Ass, Look At Me Now!" They save that kind of debilitating shit for fallen celebrities.
The weather is pretty but life is shit.
...
What am I saying? I feel like where I was when I was fourteen when, upon attending class very rarely, I would make stickers that said "I TAKE PROZAC!" in speech bubbles coming from smiley faces. I need to stop manufacturing my own irony. The truth is this: the weather, though currently pretty, is always uncertain in this shithole just as life has gotten to be very uncertain as well. I don't know if it's shit. Perhaps so, because my direction is getting more and more unconventional, but who's to say that my parents' state jobs are indicative of success?
Hypocrites. They've told me that life is useless if one is not constantly helping others, yet when I bring up Americorps, they bring up salary instantly. I could do it anyway. But I don't even need a job focused on helping people to help people. Why not go by the individual? Why not be that person in the coffee shops who strikes up odd conversations with strangers, brightens days, recommends mind blowing books?
Hypocrites, Part II. They go on and on in middleschool about the different varieties and facets of intelligence, yet when it comes down to it, all that seems to matter are those four+ years of university education. Why do they give us all these forms of idealism just to strip it away from us? Through half-truths, lies, or just irrelevant things? In elementary school and preschool, we're told we can be anything we want to be. Doctors, lawyers, firefighters -- those are all very popular. But what isn't flushed away by societal "standards" is made an impossibility by money. It's like a fine print they ingrain into our common sense, which I suppose is common enough but all too sensible for my taste.
People like me don't make it too far in life. People like them look down on people like me. People like me make slight difference in their eyes. People like me, according to people like them, should be excluded from that whitepicketfence-2.5children-AllAmericanDream type thing. Happiness for people like me is minute, inconsequential, and irrelevant just because it is unconventional.
What the fuck just happened? In the eternal words of that awful movie, Kids.
I was that kid, that 4.0 student, that bright one with the bright future. Dropping out of school three years later. Huh? What the fuck? I suppose I'll make the best of it. There's no turning back now. No way I can become a lawyer anymore. There are other options, they just weren't well advertised. And thank god there aren't any Jerry Springer shows for "We Used To Compete Over How High Over 100% We Could Get In Class And I Always Kicked Your Ass, Look At Me Now!" They save that kind of debilitating shit for fallen celebrities.