I really must be insane.
If you ever needed proff of my insanity, look no further than the happinings of today. It was a typical day, as any other Wednesday, and it unfolded as I had planned it. Woke up somewhat early and went down to the concious lab to help out a friend with her masters. After the said experiment I journeyed on upstairs to the student center and set up shop there, plunk down and started to read my next book 'Catch me if you can' by Frank Abagnale, Jr. since I finished 'A Lion Amung Men'. So I continued to read, ran into my friend Anabelle, and talked to her for a bit and after she left I tuned into the radio show that I listen to every Wednesday 'cupcake and tea'. For those of you who don't know, I have a huge crush on her, and have talked to her a couple of times, and is just way too bashful. To ilistarte this point, while listining to the show my friend who works at the radio station walked by a few minutes ago and since I haven't seen him in a while I said hey to him. He asked what was going on and I told him I was listining to her show and he suggested that I just go up there and talk to her then, since she worries if anyone is actualy listining. When I said I was too basful for that, he suggested he could introduce us, and I coulnd't really put together a tangible sentence. He started to laugh saying he's never seen anyone blush so red so fast as I had.
Now, as you may or may not know, I found out a couple months ago that she has a boyfriend, as all girls that I have a crush on have. And it never really hit me when I first found out. It was more of an "oh well, that sucks" when I first found out. But the more I hear about her, and the more I listen to her show, I really start to think 'what am I doing? She's got a boyfriend, why am I so smitterpegged over her still?" The more I think of that, the more I'm convinced that I'm really insane. My main philosophy when it comes to crushes and dating is any girl who is in a relationship or that I know another guy has eyes for is offlimits. And before this, it never seemed to be a big deal. I would let the crush run it's course and in a few days I'd move on. So then, why can't my mind let this one go? I know I'm not helping it by keeping up with Twitter and doing her 'participation questions' on her radio show.
But today it hit me harder than usual. I saw her walk to her show and waved, but she didn't notice me. No problem. While on the show, she played the song I requested for, said my participation answer, and I started to gush. And when I saw her again walking from her show (this was after I had talked to my friend from the radio show) and I waved, then I even called out to her, but she kept on walking. Normaly, no big deal, she probibly just didn't hear me, but for some reason I felt defeated and overly depressed. But why?!? There's no reason for it! I've only talked to her a couple of times, I only participate once a week to her radio show and she played my song I requested. She was just being nice when she was talking to me, no more or less than anyone else who would randomly walk up to her. Why do I feel so terrible after all this? She was never mine to lose and we're barly even friends. I'd be suprised if she even remembers my name. She knows my face, and I'm sure she only remembers me when passing because I always wair my pink floyd sweater. The only logical explination: I'm insane.
Now, as you may or may not know, I found out a couple months ago that she has a boyfriend, as all girls that I have a crush on have. And it never really hit me when I first found out. It was more of an "oh well, that sucks" when I first found out. But the more I hear about her, and the more I listen to her show, I really start to think 'what am I doing? She's got a boyfriend, why am I so smitterpegged over her still?" The more I think of that, the more I'm convinced that I'm really insane. My main philosophy when it comes to crushes and dating is any girl who is in a relationship or that I know another guy has eyes for is offlimits. And before this, it never seemed to be a big deal. I would let the crush run it's course and in a few days I'd move on. So then, why can't my mind let this one go? I know I'm not helping it by keeping up with Twitter and doing her 'participation questions' on her radio show.
But today it hit me harder than usual. I saw her walk to her show and waved, but she didn't notice me. No problem. While on the show, she played the song I requested for, said my participation answer, and I started to gush. And when I saw her again walking from her show (this was after I had talked to my friend from the radio show) and I waved, then I even called out to her, but she kept on walking. Normaly, no big deal, she probibly just didn't hear me, but for some reason I felt defeated and overly depressed. But why?!? There's no reason for it! I've only talked to her a couple of times, I only participate once a week to her radio show and she played my song I requested. She was just being nice when she was talking to me, no more or less than anyone else who would randomly walk up to her. Why do I feel so terrible after all this? She was never mine to lose and we're barly even friends. I'd be suprised if she even remembers my name. She knows my face, and I'm sure she only remembers me when passing because I always wair my pink floyd sweater. The only logical explination: I'm insane.