Need to vent!
It's the undermining that gets me pissed off. If I want to do maintenance on my car, I can't because "we can't afford it," but because it's bugging him, he wants it done NOW. WTF?! Seriously?! It's not just my car, either, it's getting things, like a new Mop head for my mop, getting cleaning supplies, installing programs on the computer, starting a program with our daughter. Drives me nutts! I don't understand his reasoning when it comes to this.
How we ended up here? Two months ago, my sister's husband looks at me and goes "You need new tires." So I ask him about how he knows my tires are going bald, how to pick new tires, and where to look for deals. I tell my SO that I need new tires, and his response is "We can't afford new tires right now, let's wait." Two months pass and now my tires are practically dead, because I waited because of his request (and my hours at work got cut, so we literally coudln't afford it). I NEEDED new tires and he got them for me. I paid for them, but he got them while I was at work.
There's a clicking sound that's coming from my car and has been coming for a few months. I didn't do anything about it, because, it wasn't affecting the performance, just bugging me every so often, but not enough for me to rush to the dealer or repair shop. Because it bugs HIM, he has me searching for warranty information, not listening when I tell him "I DON'T HAVE THE WARRANTY INFORMATION BECAUSE I GOT MY CAR THROUGH A LOAN FROM THE BANK. AND I CAN'T AFFORD TO TAKE IT TO THE DEALERSHIP BECAUSE THEY'LL MOST LIKELY CHARGE FOR THE SERVICE." Ignores me and has me search because "It's bugging me and I want to do this for you." I understand, he wants to do this for me, but what about when I wanted to do this for me and put it aside because he asked me to?
Does this for everything! This strange Guilt, "Let's do it now, because I want to. What? Don't you trust me?" thing he does! And then gets mad when I tell him to wait going "BUT IT NEEDS TO GET DONE! YOU KNOW WHAT? NEVERMIND" ARGH! And somehow, if we get into this big mess of an argument over it, it becomes my fault. Me the reason for the argument and the reason things have gotten forgotten.
All I said was "Let's just sit down and watch a movie." And he got mad! Over me wanting to watch a movie than to search for hours online for warranty information ON MY CAR! I didn't get mad that it desperately needs an oil change or that I waited two months to get new tires, or that the clicking sound is coming from the back (come to think of it, that needs to get checked, because it can be the alternator, but I'd rather take it to Pep Boys or my brother to take a look at it and NOT have to pay a service fee), or that he's been playing Gears of War until 3 or 4 in the morning "Because I can't sleep." I just want to sit down and see a movie because I want to spend some time with him. I didn't even get mad that he got mad over that! Why do I listen to his unresonable requests?!
When and where did I become so relationship stupid and stopped listening and doing things for myself? WHEN?!
ok I'm done.
How we ended up here? Two months ago, my sister's husband looks at me and goes "You need new tires." So I ask him about how he knows my tires are going bald, how to pick new tires, and where to look for deals. I tell my SO that I need new tires, and his response is "We can't afford new tires right now, let's wait." Two months pass and now my tires are practically dead, because I waited because of his request (and my hours at work got cut, so we literally coudln't afford it). I NEEDED new tires and he got them for me. I paid for them, but he got them while I was at work.
There's a clicking sound that's coming from my car and has been coming for a few months. I didn't do anything about it, because, it wasn't affecting the performance, just bugging me every so often, but not enough for me to rush to the dealer or repair shop. Because it bugs HIM, he has me searching for warranty information, not listening when I tell him "I DON'T HAVE THE WARRANTY INFORMATION BECAUSE I GOT MY CAR THROUGH A LOAN FROM THE BANK. AND I CAN'T AFFORD TO TAKE IT TO THE DEALERSHIP BECAUSE THEY'LL MOST LIKELY CHARGE FOR THE SERVICE." Ignores me and has me search because "It's bugging me and I want to do this for you." I understand, he wants to do this for me, but what about when I wanted to do this for me and put it aside because he asked me to?
Does this for everything! This strange Guilt, "Let's do it now, because I want to. What? Don't you trust me?" thing he does! And then gets mad when I tell him to wait going "BUT IT NEEDS TO GET DONE! YOU KNOW WHAT? NEVERMIND" ARGH! And somehow, if we get into this big mess of an argument over it, it becomes my fault. Me the reason for the argument and the reason things have gotten forgotten.
All I said was "Let's just sit down and watch a movie." And he got mad! Over me wanting to watch a movie than to search for hours online for warranty information ON MY CAR! I didn't get mad that it desperately needs an oil change or that I waited two months to get new tires, or that the clicking sound is coming from the back (come to think of it, that needs to get checked, because it can be the alternator, but I'd rather take it to Pep Boys or my brother to take a look at it and NOT have to pay a service fee), or that he's been playing Gears of War until 3 or 4 in the morning "Because I can't sleep." I just want to sit down and see a movie because I want to spend some time with him. I didn't even get mad that he got mad over that! Why do I listen to his unresonable requests?!
When and where did I become so relationship stupid and stopped listening and doing things for myself? WHEN?!
ok I'm done.