Ahh Hell...
I'm so confused i don't know what I want anymore. All i know is I'm tired. Tired of the chldish actions of those around me. I'm tired of wanting someone. Tired of desiring someone. When does the pursuit end and you are happy? Fooling around is fun yes but the joy and contentment is temporary. Looking for someone to give me themselves in impossible. No one would give me what I want. No one I know could possibly understand the emptiness that consumes me sometimes. Enjoying the flesh that the creators gave us is one thing, but I want to melt with someone. Becone one with them. I can't write or read without feeling the desire swell within me. If it was just sexual I would have dealt with it a long time ago.
I tried telling myself that I was just hunger for the physical. I've lied to myself. I want more. I want to become one with someone. To meld with them. To feel their touch and know that he touches me only to feel my warmth. To be kissed and know that he kisses me wanting to feel the return pressure of my lips. To be pleasured and know that he wishes me feel the pure joy only he can give me. I want to do the same. To feel the warmth of his body and feel like I have to do nothing other than be me. I wish to revell in his arms afterwards. I wish to feel his body mold to mine as we fall to sleep and know that he will be there with me when we wake. The name of the guy I wish for. I don't know. He has yet to show himself. If he has I wish he'd come forward.
I guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself. Everyone has their own little thing going and I'm just here wishing for something that will never come. I'll be a single mother the rest of my days and only dream of such a connection. Always asking the question: what would happen i fwe kissed
I tried telling myself that I was just hunger for the physical. I've lied to myself. I want more. I want to become one with someone. To meld with them. To feel their touch and know that he touches me only to feel my warmth. To be kissed and know that he kisses me wanting to feel the return pressure of my lips. To be pleasured and know that he wishes me feel the pure joy only he can give me. I want to do the same. To feel the warmth of his body and feel like I have to do nothing other than be me. I wish to revell in his arms afterwards. I wish to feel his body mold to mine as we fall to sleep and know that he will be there with me when we wake. The name of the guy I wish for. I don't know. He has yet to show himself. If he has I wish he'd come forward.
I guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself. Everyone has their own little thing going and I'm just here wishing for something that will never come. I'll be a single mother the rest of my days and only dream of such a connection. Always asking the question: what would happen i fwe kissed