Oceanic Descent (Chapter Fourteen)
Oceanic Descent - Chapter Fourteen
Cook woke to the feeling of Michael shaking his shoulder gently. Cracking one eyelid open briefly, he saw that the sky was just lightening. Groaning in displeasure at the early hour, Cook tried to bury himself under his blankets.
Unpleasantly, he found all of his blankets being briskly pulled away.
“What the hell, man? It’s like, nothing o’clock in the fucking morning!” Cook whined.
“Fuck, I tried being nice, but that’s it, you baby!” Mike slapped Cook’s ass hard to get him moving. “We need to talk about last night lover boy, and NOW, before sleeping beauty in the next room wakes up. Now GET UP!”
The memory of last night’s events rushed in on Cook and he sat up with a dopey grin. “Fine, but we need coffee. LOTS of coffee.”
Fifteen minutes later, the two men sat cross-legged on Cook’s bed, each cradling a mug of steaming coffee.
“I don’t know what happened in there last night man, but either that kid is possessed or crazy… or maybe I’m crazy, but I actually think that must have been a real angel or some such shit talking.” Mike paused, taking another sip of coffee.
“I still think you are going to be facing a world of trouble if this goes public, but I think it would be a fucking sin to break that promise you made, so I am going to help you cover your stupid ass. I don’t want little David to get ANY shit coming down on him for this. That kid has been through too fucking much.”
“Oh, and by the way, are you even gay?”
Cook snorted with a mouth full of coffee that came perilously close to spraying Michael and his shit-eating grin.
“Man, I never have been before, that’s for sure… I don’t even know how to explain what I feel for David… I’m attracted, that’s for sure, and part of it is definitely sexual…”
“Oh yeah mate, I noticed…” added Mike sotto voce.
“Shut up. Thank you. As I was saying, part of it is sexual, but it’s a hell of a lot more all-encompassing then that.” Cook put his coffee down on the floor by the bed and rubbed his hands over his stubbly face and through his thinning hair, making it stand up in all directions.
“I’m pretty sure I’m not gay, hell, I don’t even think I’m straight anymore! I think I'm, I don’t know, just David-sexual.”
“Well, after what I saw last night, which was WAY too much by the way, I’m not going to argue with you about that. But we need to plan how to present this “relationship” so you don’t get your names splashed all over the fuckin tabs. Any ideas?”
“Well, I guess “brotherly” and protective is the way to go. God knows, I feel VERY protective of him.” Cook’s teeth flashed briefly in an utterly humorless savage grin.
“Whoa mate, take it down a notch!” Mike heldup his hands, not entirely playfully. “You looked FIERCE there, mate!”
“I think we should scope out the other hopefuls, and see if we can’t get a few on board for some quiet David-sitting, just in case his wanker dad goes after him again. I don’t think his granny is going to be much fuckin protection for when one of us can’t be there.” Mike mused.
Cook sighed, “David will hate it, but the rumors about his dad must be flying, so that should be pretty easy.”
Glancing over at the connecting door Cook asked if Mike thought he should wake David, but Mike thought they should let him sleep while they grabbed some breakfast and scoped out some of the other contestants.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
David yawned and stretched, lazily wondering why the alarm didn’t wake him up, and enjoying how good he felt this morning. The unfamiliar feel of sheets rubbing over his bare skin made him freeze.
David slowly ran his hands over his arms, his sensitized chest, and then further down to find he was only wearing boxers, not his normal pajamas. Abruptly, memories rolled over him.
David groaned and rolled onto his side curling up in shame. My dad was right, he thought in pain, It is my fault! Memories of Mike’s attack overwhelmed him, images of his dad screaming at him mixing in swamping him.
He could Cook whispering, “Come on baby let go… I, I want to feel you… ah, Oh God! Baby! Let go now!” and worse, he could feel himself hardening at the memory.
A memory from a pamphlet his dad had given to him came to him, “There is a falsehood that some are born with an attraction to their own kind, with nothing they can do about it. They are just "that way" and can only yield to those desires. That is a malicious and destructive lie. While it is a convincing idea to some, it is of the devil. No one is locked into that kind of life. From our premortal life we were directed into a physical body. There is no mismatching of bodies and spirits. Boys are to become men --masculine, manly men…”
Sodamite, spawn, no son of mine, look what you made me do to you, unnatural, not human…
David curled himself up in his blankets, lost in his own personal hell.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cook and Michael were just finishing breakfast when Cook suddenly paled and began to sway. He pressed his shaking hands against his eyes trying desperately not to lose himself in the flood of memories that were not his own.
Mike squeezed his arm painfully, “What’s wrong mate?”
“Take me… Take me to David. Now! Please!” Cook whispered fiercely.
Mike made a joke about sick roommates being a pain as he quickly guided Cook out of the cafeteria. A few moments later, Cook was banging on David’s connecting door, desperate to get in. Mike grabbed his wallet, extracted a credit card, and expertly released the lock. Barely stopping to give Johns a lifted eyebrow, Cook headed straight for the blanket wrapped lump on the bed.
“Mike go, go make sure no one comes in!” Mike nodded and closed the door after him.
Cook moved to scoop David up, blankets and all, but as soon as he touched David, a burst of terror literally knocked him to his knees. An animalistic keening sounded, and for a minute Cook couldn’t tell if it was coming from David’s throat or his own.
Afraid to touch David again, and frightened by the painful sound and the way objects in the room were shaking, Cook began singing the first thing that came to mind, trying to reach and comfort David. He heard a sharp crack, and watched the large mirror over the dresser shiver as a spiderweb of tiny breaks spread across it.
He sang “The Truth”, a song he had written for his album Analog Heart. It hadn’t gone anywhere, but suddenly, looking at David, he felt that maybe he had written the song about these strong feelings for David without knowing it.
It was hardly a lullaby, but he sang it anyway,
Two steps removed from every thing I thought I knew
There's no remedy
I see your face in every single thing I do
You change me
Your laugh intoxicating
One touch and I'm negating everything around
Take me and I'm yours
I only want you anymore
I kiss the ground
Encouraged, Cook could feel David’s attention being caught, and the chaos in his mind diminishing as he focused on Cook’s voice like a lifeline out of his own painful memories.
If you want to know the truth,
You make or break my day
If you want to know the truth
I wouldn't have it any other way…
I rest my head from running circles 'round my mind
On why you let go
No answers to be found, romances don't rewind
I guess I'll never know
Why your absence is devastating
No touch to calm my head and everyone around
You leave me when I'm yours
'cause you don't want me anymore
I hit the ground, yeah
Cook touched David’s back gingerly. When there was no response except a slight relaxation, Cook began rubbing David’s shoulders and back through the blanket. The tumult in their minds smoothed out more as David followed the lyrics closely.
If you want to know the truth,
You make or break my day
If you want to know the truth
I wouldn't have it any other way, yeah
If you want to know the truth,
You make or break my day
If you want to know the truth
I wouldn't have it any other way
If you want to know the truth,
You make or break my day…
If you want to know the truth
I wouldn't have it any other way
Any other way…
If you want to know the truth,
You make or break my day
Any other way…
If you want to know the truth,
You make or break my day
Any other way…
“Baby? Are you back?”
A sobbing hitching breath and a nodding motion in the blankets was his answer.
“Come on out of there babe, There can’t be any oxygen in there by now! Here, let me unwrap you a bit.” Gently Cook began pulling the blankets apart, leaving his body covered. Big hazel eyes framed with wet spiky lashes looked up at him, and then shut immediately, David’s face flushing hotly.
“Hey David, wanna hear a joke?”
David’s eyes flew open, and a little smile tugged at the corners of his lips. He nodded shyly.
“Why are pirates so popular?” David just looked at him quizzically. “They just arrrggghh!”
Unwillingly, David began to giggle. Cook smiled warmly at him.
“Finally! Someone who appreciates my fantastic sense of humor! C’mere babe, tell me what’s wrong. I’m sure we can fix it, whatever it is… really.” As he spoke, Cook gently tugged David until David was leaning against him. Cook wrapped his arms around the bundled teen.
“Is it last night? ‘Cause that was pretty heavy… powerful stuff. I’m still kinda shaken, to tell the truth. Happy, but shaken. What about you, how are you feeling today?”
With a small sigh, David pressed his face onto the space between Cook's shoulder and chest. Breathing in Cook’s scent helped him relax a bit more. “Um. I - I’m confused? And I feel sort of bad. Not because, you know, of you! Just, I… I never did… that before, and I don’t even know what happened really? And, I’m thinking… that maybe, um, maybe…” David paused, then resumed very quietly, “maybe my dad was, you know, right about me. That I make people do… bad things… to me. Because I make them. Or because… they can tell… I’m not right.”
“Whoa. That’s heavy. Okay, let’s talk about this. Uh, was that your first time with someone?”
David blushed and nodded.
“At all? Or just for the, ah… more involved stuff?”
“That, that was my first kiss.”
“I’m sorry babe.” David’s face began to crumple. “No! I’m not sorry we kissed! Not at all! I just wish that you had a chance to choose to kiss me, that’s all.”
Cook made a little frustrated growl. “Hel-heck, I can’t stand this! David, please come here, let me hold you okay?”
David bit his lower lip with a worried look on his face, but began loosening the blankets, carefully so as to avoid showing his skin, and inched closer to Cook. Cook swept David up, blankets and all and settled David in his lap.
“I never even had a chance to ask you if you wanted to kiss, and I’m so sorry babe. I know you wanted to then, but you might not want to now, and that’s ok. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, nothing at all. I promise.”
“I kind of do, you know, want to kiss you. I liked… um, yeah, you know…” David got his hands loose and was waving them around, trying to convey his meaning. “But you’re not a girl… kissing you, it’s a sin? Am I a - a sodomite? Um. I’m not even sure, um, what a sodomite is even?” David asked plaintively.
“That’s what your dad called you, right?” David nodded. “It’s a very old term from the bible. People say that the reason Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed is because there were gay people living there. The story itself doesn’t say that, but calling gay men sodomites stuck. Sodomy is an old word for anal sex, which both men and women can do.”
“You know, the bible does call it a sin, but it also says wearing linen and cotton blends is a sin, touching a menstruating woman is a sin, and eating shrimp is a sin.” Seems to me, your dad is kind of picking and choosing in the sin department.”
David smothered a shocked giggle against Cook's shoulder, and shyly put his hands behind Cook’s neck.
“I don’t understand what’s happening to us David, but I know it’s very special, and maybe even sacred. Do you know, sometimes I can kind of feel what you are feeling… even see a bit of what you are thinking when you are really upset?”
David looked appalled. “You have extra-whatever perception, for real?”
“Extrasensory perception. And no, it’s just with you, and just a bit. I think it’s only enough that you don’t have to worry about talking to me; so I can be there for you when you’re hurting. I like to think so anyway.”
Unconsciously David began pulling gently at Cook’s longish hair, enjoying the feeling of it. Cook shivered, and spread his hands over David’s lower back, fingers digging in and rubbing slowly.
David’s eyelids drooped in pleasure. “That’s, ah, that’s nice.”
“Yes, yes it is babe.” Running his hands up David’s back slowly until he was touching bare skin made David shift around on Cook’s lap and harden.
Cook’s eyes darkened and his pupils looked blown. A light sheen sprang out on his forehead.
“David.” He looked into David’s rapidly darkening hazel eyes. “Baby… Babe, I want to kiss you. So much. Can I? Can I kiss you?”
David’s breathing picked up, and he ran his tongue over his lips, wetting them, not realizing the impact that the simple motion would have on Cook. Looking at the care and passion on Cook’s face, David thought, I don’t think this can be a sin, it doesn’t feel bad or wrong… just really, really strong.
“Ahh, Cook… Yes, yes please… I - I want to, to kiss you too…”
Carefully controlling himself, not wanting to scare David again, Cook cradled the back of David’s head and drew David closer into the shelter of his body. Tipping his head a bit, he drew closer to David’s lightly panting mouth slowly, giving him every opportunity to back out.
Finally, too impatient to wait, David closed the small distance and pressed his lips to Cook's in an unpracticed but sweet kiss. Cook kissed David softly on his plump lips, on the corners of his mouth, and then gently sucked on David’s lower lip.
David made a breathy noise that went straight to Cook’s groin, making him harden under a shifting David on his lap. Cook groaned deeply, and ran his tongue over the seam of David’s lips until they parted for him.
Teasingly licking into David’s mouth, Cook was thrilled to meet the shy advances of David’s tongue with his own. When he gently sucked David’s tongue into his mouth, Cook felt a small sensual vibration in the air, almost like an inaudible purr against his skin.
Although severely tempted to lower David to the bed and cover him with his body, Cook instead began slowly gentling the kiss and pulling back bit by bit, until he was again pressing chaste kisses over David’s face and neck, and then he pulled David into a tight comforting hug, while their breathing evened and their heartbeats slowed down.
“I love kissing you babe. I think I could be happy just kissing you forever. Thank you for trusting me, and for sharing your first real kiss with me. I’m so honored David.”
David smiled into Cook’s eyes, his shiny lips a slightly swollen deep rose. “I never wanted to kiss anyone but you.”
I don’t think I’ll ever want to kiss anyone but you.”
TBC…
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Grace Notes
The pamphlet David remembers is still being distributed to LDS young men.
To Young Men Only
By Boyd K. Parker
www.lds-mormon.com/only.shtml
General Conference Priesthood Session, October 2, 1976
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