(no subject)
Lonliness is a bitch. It makes people do such stupid things. It makes people crazy, but most pitifully, it makes people untrustworthy. I can't help but think that a good friend of mine has an ulterior motive for not wanting me to move away and move on with my life. I can't help but think that it's that she doesn't want to be alone.
I'm scared as hell to even be considering moving away from 'home' (such as it is), but I'm so tired of feeling like my life is stagnant. I want to get out and do things and, hell, fall on my ass if that's whats going to happen. The point is I"LL be doing those things and won't be 1,000% dependant on someone else...I'll be the one falling on my ass! Afterall, aren't those my mistakes to make? But the last thing I need is someone all up in my grill with negativity before I even pack a bag! I"m already scared as hell to be leaving my comfort zone and trying something Lena would never try and all I'm getting from this particular friend is "who the hell do you think you are? you must think you're grown" kinda attitude! What is with that? You don't tell people you love that you basically don't believe in their ability to live their own life, to make it on their own. In fact, if you really love a person (as I'm sure my friend does) you tell that person the exact opposite EVEN IF in your head you're thinking "this heffa is gonna fall flat on her ass...yup! she will be back soon." Why would you kill someones spirit like that? Why would you take what fragile belief they have in themself and stomp the shit out of it????
I'll tell you why! Lonliness. I honestly do think my friend is afraid to be alone, which is understandable, but frankly rather sad. I understand the need to keep your friends as close as you can because I miss my best friend every hour...but I would never try to hold him back from living his life just because I don't wanna watch "House" by myself! And its crazy that someone should try to make me feel like I'm throwing my life away - especially when I'm scared as a bird already - all because they feel like I'm abandoning them.
I swear, sometimes I HATE PEOPLE!
Lena
I'm scared as hell to even be considering moving away from 'home' (such as it is), but I'm so tired of feeling like my life is stagnant. I want to get out and do things and, hell, fall on my ass if that's whats going to happen. The point is I"LL be doing those things and won't be 1,000% dependant on someone else...I'll be the one falling on my ass! Afterall, aren't those my mistakes to make? But the last thing I need is someone all up in my grill with negativity before I even pack a bag! I"m already scared as hell to be leaving my comfort zone and trying something Lena would never try and all I'm getting from this particular friend is "who the hell do you think you are? you must think you're grown" kinda attitude! What is with that? You don't tell people you love that you basically don't believe in their ability to live their own life, to make it on their own. In fact, if you really love a person (as I'm sure my friend does) you tell that person the exact opposite EVEN IF in your head you're thinking "this heffa is gonna fall flat on her ass...yup! she will be back soon." Why would you kill someones spirit like that? Why would you take what fragile belief they have in themself and stomp the shit out of it????
I'll tell you why! Lonliness. I honestly do think my friend is afraid to be alone, which is understandable, but frankly rather sad. I understand the need to keep your friends as close as you can because I miss my best friend every hour...but I would never try to hold him back from living his life just because I don't wanna watch "House" by myself! And its crazy that someone should try to make me feel like I'm throwing my life away - especially when I'm scared as a bird already - all because they feel like I'm abandoning them.
I swear, sometimes I HATE PEOPLE!
Lena