i am jack's rising bile

[moth76]

i did a bad thing. now im being punished. and rightly so. i dont understand why i do things sometimes. maybe i just dont want to. either way i have no excuse. i hurt her. and i feel so low and ashamed. it was so easy at the time. and that worries me. what else am i capable of? when i confessed she said she could not forgive me. i dont see how we can survive long term if she cannot forgive me. i dont expect it, and i dont deserve it. but part of me will think less of her if she cannot. i am still hopeful tho. what else can i do? the alternative is to sink. last night she held my hand briefly while i was driving. first time in a while. its the small things i took for granted that mean so much when they are gone.
i just hate that i have disappointed her so much. seems to be my trademark in relationships.

tunes of the moment
nightrain - gnr
grow or pay - d*a*d
down in a hole - alice in chains
stripseach - fnm
river - gorefest