Halloween aftermath.
So Sherry finally talked to me last night. A whole sentence!
"Give me back my house key."
Sherry "hosted" a Halloween party at her house Friday night, and I use the term loosely. Technically, it was "Tyler's party," but when you have a group of people in your house for a social gathering or event, you're the host. Deal with it. Sherry throws a good amount of social gatherings (or used to) but usually, she's a pretty lazy host during a party, especially when she's dressed up in her Courtney Love suit. Basically, the way it works is whoever suggested throwing the party holds full responsibility of all events and actions. So if Person A suggested the party, they get an earful when random guest does something like pee on the floor or fall asleep on the couch whilst everybody is under the influence. It's not cute, but her house is.
I didn't really have a costume, aside from "Mo in a girly skirt." I was on a time crunch. It was a really fun party, and everyone was having a blast. I wasn't even that annoyed by the douche bag in the hat, or that promiscuous Macalester girl that kept trying to rape me. Sherry took off her wig and changed her costume to Lindsay Lohan. Jenni ran around without her shirt, like she does when she's in really good mood after a few drinks. This was a very classy shindig. At some point, probably when I was on the porch, Sherry ventured off to drunk-smash Felix. I heard through the grapevine that she was in bed. That means I was in charge. Neat!
And then people started complaining. I hate it when people complain about being hungry. It's so annoying, and I have this compulsion to do whatever it takes to make them stop complaining so we can get back to having fun. So
Ten minutes later, we had pasta noodles, and those kids swarmed right to the pot on the stove. I got out of the way so I didn't get in any one's chow zone and lose an arm. Then the hungry people magically quit their bitching and started worshiping me.
Things started to quiet down, so I went to work on the pullout couch. The original plan involved Tyler staying on the porch. I had just finished turning on the space heater, when Sherry comes stumbling out in her sweats, bitching about how I made pasta, and how "seriously not cool" it was. Apparently, I really offended her and crossed lines by making food for people. I apologized, because I didn't think it was going to offend her, and, yeah, I used something of hers without permission. Whatever. She steals from her mom's cupboards, and I didn't even use the whole box. She let me have it, and then went back to bed, possibly for some of that angry sex.
I took out my pen and wrote "You suck sometimes" on some money and stuck it on the fridge. To cover the "cost." Uncalled for, but sometimes you just need to get the last word in, and I was getting the last word on this one. I made the rounds to make sure nobody was hiding or passed out on the basement floor, locked up, and Larry must have dropped us off at Shervie's house. (I can never remember car rides when I'm drunk for some reason. Gypsy curse, perhaps.)
Once we got there, I realized I had left the space heater running out on the porch, and that made me laugh. It was a vindictive laugh.
I don't get it. What do they do with hungry people where she comes from? Do they hunt them for sport? Or just tag them and release them into the wild? I know I'm not the only person with a knee-jerk reaction of feeding hungry complainers. Especially hungry complainers that I like. Don't like the way I run your house party after you go to bed? Then don't go to bed when there's a party in your house and leave me in charge. You'd think she caught me with my arm up her rabbit.
The next day, I realized that I had accidentally taped a ten to the fridge. I've severely over-tipped cabbies in a similar fashion. Now she can buy a whole slew of bow ties and call it a party. But it's wrong to feed your party guests, and I'm still out ten bucks. I sure showed her.
Alright, let's move on now.
"Give me back my house key."
Sherry "hosted" a Halloween party at her house Friday night, and I use the term loosely. Technically, it was "Tyler's party," but when you have a group of people in your house for a social gathering or event, you're the host. Deal with it. Sherry throws a good amount of social gatherings (or used to) but usually, she's a pretty lazy host during a party, especially when she's dressed up in her Courtney Love suit. Basically, the way it works is whoever suggested throwing the party holds full responsibility of all events and actions. So if Person A suggested the party, they get an earful when random guest does something like pee on the floor or fall asleep on the couch whilst everybody is under the influence. It's not cute, but her house is.
I didn't really have a costume, aside from "Mo in a girly skirt." I was on a time crunch. It was a really fun party, and everyone was having a blast. I wasn't even that annoyed by the douche bag in the hat, or that promiscuous Macalester girl that kept trying to rape me. Sherry took off her wig and changed her costume to Lindsay Lohan. Jenni ran around without her shirt, like she does when she's in really good mood after a few drinks. This was a very classy shindig. At some point, probably when I was on the porch, Sherry ventured off to drunk-smash Felix. I heard through the grapevine that she was in bed. That means I was in charge. Neat!
And then people started complaining. I hate it when people complain about being hungry. It's so annoying, and I have this compulsion to do whatever it takes to make them stop complaining so we can get back to having fun. So
Ten minutes later, we had pasta noodles, and those kids swarmed right to the pot on the stove. I got out of the way so I didn't get in any one's chow zone and lose an arm. Then the hungry people magically quit their bitching and started worshiping me.
Things started to quiet down, so I went to work on the pullout couch. The original plan involved Tyler staying on the porch. I had just finished turning on the space heater, when Sherry comes stumbling out in her sweats, bitching about how I made pasta, and how "seriously not cool" it was. Apparently, I really offended her and crossed lines by making food for people. I apologized, because I didn't think it was going to offend her, and, yeah, I used something of hers without permission. Whatever. She steals from her mom's cupboards, and I didn't even use the whole box. She let me have it, and then went back to bed, possibly for some of that angry sex.
I took out my pen and wrote "You suck sometimes" on some money and stuck it on the fridge. To cover the "cost." Uncalled for, but sometimes you just need to get the last word in, and I was getting the last word on this one. I made the rounds to make sure nobody was hiding or passed out on the basement floor, locked up, and Larry must have dropped us off at Shervie's house. (I can never remember car rides when I'm drunk for some reason. Gypsy curse, perhaps.)
Once we got there, I realized I had left the space heater running out on the porch, and that made me laugh. It was a vindictive laugh.
I don't get it. What do they do with hungry people where she comes from? Do they hunt them for sport? Or just tag them and release them into the wild? I know I'm not the only person with a knee-jerk reaction of feeding hungry complainers. Especially hungry complainers that I like. Don't like the way I run your house party after you go to bed? Then don't go to bed when there's a party in your house and leave me in charge. You'd think she caught me with my arm up her rabbit.
The next day, I realized that I had accidentally taped a ten to the fridge. I've severely over-tipped cabbies in a similar fashion. Now she can buy a whole slew of bow ties and call it a party. But it's wrong to feed your party guests, and I'm still out ten bucks. I sure showed her.
Alright, let's move on now.