I'm still here.
The problem with having a job with not a lot to do and a computer is that inevitable fact that you will end up trying to recover on the Internet those times in your life when things were much more simple.
As in, these journals. My old website from 7 years ago. Pictures. The absence of pictures and other things you thought the Internet would keep for you. But the Internet is not the box in your closet, it's a living scary thing that keeps ridiculous things while conversations that you long to revisit with both yourself and others disappear into a bleak 404 error screen.
Happy Alert: My commercial is airing now. Once some hoo-hah puts it online I will post it here. You can clearly see me dancing like a fool for about 2 seconds. Smile when you see it, cause I'll be getting a check.
Where am I? I'm at the reception desk of a hedge fund investment firm. It's crazy nice, we just got free food, and I literally just clean up the conference room and answer the COO's line. So easy. And I thought such high profile and wealthy people were just across the board lunatics but they are devastatingly normal, pleasant, and funny. Fuck em.
But back to musings on the past. Isn't it weird and awesome how much we mature but retain our inherent flaws? It's like getting older really means realizing and toning down what's bad about you that other people don't like. Someone told me something about myself many years ago--not to my face per se, but I know it was said--that literally echoes in my brain maybe once a week. And personality wise, I've been trying to eliminate these negative traits but they don't seem to want to leave me. And they can't, really, because if they did I wouldn't be me, would I? They just got toned down.
Random example: I loved Michelle Branch in high school (THU!). But as I have passed the age she was when she wrote those songs, I see them from the other side: oh, first love, first breakup... whereas when I learned to love them I was in the thick of it, even through early college. So a few weeks ago I'm putzing around on Pandora.com (amazing) and heard this brilliant song by some band called the Wreckers called "Leave the Pieces" which sees the end of love with no dramatic tears or power chords but a simple request to make it quick and leave quickly. And I look up the band, and the singer is Michelle FUCKING Branch!!! Sigh. See?
It's just funny when you see someone infrequently after you knew them intimately or lived with them. They are your past, showing up in your present, not uninvited but sometimes it just doesn't gel. And sometimes, sometimes they fit right in. And you wonder how you went so long without a conversation, or a hug, or any connection. So many times in this journal I've spoken in hyperboles and hypotheticals when I just want to scream out to who I'm talking about. But this is the Internet you know, and when I'm super famous it would bite me in the ass.
It's been nice having you here. The month of July has been absolutely brilliant.
As in, these journals. My old website from 7 years ago. Pictures. The absence of pictures and other things you thought the Internet would keep for you. But the Internet is not the box in your closet, it's a living scary thing that keeps ridiculous things while conversations that you long to revisit with both yourself and others disappear into a bleak 404 error screen.
Happy Alert: My commercial is airing now. Once some hoo-hah puts it online I will post it here. You can clearly see me dancing like a fool for about 2 seconds. Smile when you see it, cause I'll be getting a check.
Where am I? I'm at the reception desk of a hedge fund investment firm. It's crazy nice, we just got free food, and I literally just clean up the conference room and answer the COO's line. So easy. And I thought such high profile and wealthy people were just across the board lunatics but they are devastatingly normal, pleasant, and funny. Fuck em.
But back to musings on the past. Isn't it weird and awesome how much we mature but retain our inherent flaws? It's like getting older really means realizing and toning down what's bad about you that other people don't like. Someone told me something about myself many years ago--not to my face per se, but I know it was said--that literally echoes in my brain maybe once a week. And personality wise, I've been trying to eliminate these negative traits but they don't seem to want to leave me. And they can't, really, because if they did I wouldn't be me, would I? They just got toned down.
Random example: I loved Michelle Branch in high school (THU!). But as I have passed the age she was when she wrote those songs, I see them from the other side: oh, first love, first breakup... whereas when I learned to love them I was in the thick of it, even through early college. So a few weeks ago I'm putzing around on Pandora.com (amazing) and heard this brilliant song by some band called the Wreckers called "Leave the Pieces" which sees the end of love with no dramatic tears or power chords but a simple request to make it quick and leave quickly. And I look up the band, and the singer is Michelle FUCKING Branch!!! Sigh. See?
It's just funny when you see someone infrequently after you knew them intimately or lived with them. They are your past, showing up in your present, not uninvited but sometimes it just doesn't gel. And sometimes, sometimes they fit right in. And you wonder how you went so long without a conversation, or a hug, or any connection. So many times in this journal I've spoken in hyperboles and hypotheticals when I just want to scream out to who I'm talking about. But this is the Internet you know, and when I'm super famous it would bite me in the ass.
It's been nice having you here. The month of July has been absolutely brilliant.