Baby, it Wasn't Actually Cold at All
"Baby, it's Cold Outside," had its original purpose in the role of one of four fics that were supposed to go up all together on Hiroto's birthday in 2010. I wrote it in April in my sweltering bedroom on a fifteen inch legal pad in blue pen and it sucked ass. Essentially. Okay, so it wasn't so bad, but it needed serious revision. As fate would have it, my parents grounded me that week and with my computer confiscated, the fic never made its 4th May deadline. It didn't see the light of day again for a whole nother year, and a reworked version went up on 5th May, 1pm JST, along with three other pieces, each with its own pairing: Shou/Pon, Pon/Saga, Nao/Pon. I've since taken down the other three. They were amateurish, not that this piece wasn't, but I suppose I just didn't feel as confident about the others.
The best thing about this piece is probably the gentle approach I took with it. It doesn't ever build up to anything serious, and it doesn't give the impression that anything even has to change in the friendly relationship that the two guitarists have. The bits in it, sentences I rephrased, whole paragraphs I cut in, are my favorite parts because they stand out to me as so significantly improved.
Here is what I don't like: OOC. Hiroto is quite sadly out of character. He's too effeminate, rosy cheeked and excitable. He doesn't have enough dialogue to have a developed personality and the only things aside from his name that identify his being himself are his physical description and the fact that he owns a pet Pomeranian. Given the amount I actually understood about his personality at that time, it could have been worse, I suppose. The other thing I don't like is the level of boring in the wording of the damn thing. There's not a scrap of dynamic or engaging phrasing. It sounds too much like all the other cookie cutter fanfiction in the world and I suppose that again that could be chalked up to pure inexperience. But I know that I can do better, two years later. I don't really like the title either, but I guess I never like titles. I hate them inherently, especially the ones that I come up with. I was struggling at the point at which I chose a corny Christmas song title.
Overall I find it worth reading, worth keeping as a control experiment by which to compare all the writing that follows. I think it's an accurate depiction of how I saw the band at the time that I wrote it, if not at the time that I posted it or present day. It isn't hideously inaccurate or mistake-ridden, so.
Interestingly, in this oneshot, I assert Tora's bedroom theme to be red and black. I believe that at some point in the future, I read a blog post of Tora's (or an interview or questionaire, the like) that confirmed the fact! He said something to the effect that his bed was red. I found it to be a happy coincidence; naturally I took it as confirmation of my assuming and all encompassing understanding of the members of Alice Nine's innate personalities. I got pretty smug, yo. Lol.
The best thing about this piece is probably the gentle approach I took with it. It doesn't ever build up to anything serious, and it doesn't give the impression that anything even has to change in the friendly relationship that the two guitarists have. The bits in it, sentences I rephrased, whole paragraphs I cut in, are my favorite parts because they stand out to me as so significantly improved.
Here is what I don't like: OOC. Hiroto is quite sadly out of character. He's too effeminate, rosy cheeked and excitable. He doesn't have enough dialogue to have a developed personality and the only things aside from his name that identify his being himself are his physical description and the fact that he owns a pet Pomeranian. Given the amount I actually understood about his personality at that time, it could have been worse, I suppose. The other thing I don't like is the level of boring in the wording of the damn thing. There's not a scrap of dynamic or engaging phrasing. It sounds too much like all the other cookie cutter fanfiction in the world and I suppose that again that could be chalked up to pure inexperience. But I know that I can do better, two years later. I don't really like the title either, but I guess I never like titles. I hate them inherently, especially the ones that I come up with. I was struggling at the point at which I chose a corny Christmas song title.
Overall I find it worth reading, worth keeping as a control experiment by which to compare all the writing that follows. I think it's an accurate depiction of how I saw the band at the time that I wrote it, if not at the time that I posted it or present day. It isn't hideously inaccurate or mistake-ridden, so.
Interestingly, in this oneshot, I assert Tora's bedroom theme to be red and black. I believe that at some point in the future, I read a blog post of Tora's (or an interview or questionaire, the like) that confirmed the fact! He said something to the effect that his bed was red. I found it to be a happy coincidence; naturally I took it as confirmation of my assuming and all encompassing understanding of the members of Alice Nine's innate personalities. I got pretty smug, yo. Lol.