Hawaii notes... One hour.. Hard to follow but more to come.
I sat on the beach today… just briefly.. John was of running, the sun was setting and I for the first time let the environment hit me. The ocean was so powerful here; it teased me, slowly creeping up on me. I squatted down to take a picture and it surged up and soaked my shoes. It was like a dog that hadn’t seen its friend in a long time. I was saying, hey stupid, wake up, I missed you.”
I feel like I’m home here, I used to be here, I dont know if it was this island, but I have been here before. I saw myself long ago walking the shores.. It was quiet; all I could here was the powerful Pacific hitting the shore. Just like today, the people were gone and all that was left was the sound of the water.
I listened to my voice recordings today. Brief notes that I feel I need to remember. I believe they will save me and propel me to where I need to be in the long run, in life and in school.
It was a good hour, an hour of time that opened my eyes to what I need to do, to get to where I need to go. I need to stop forcing and complaining.
One moment brave, the next weak.. Strong on the surface, weak internal and vice versa. One moment Zen the next giving into desire. Nothing but opposites!! Yin and Yang. I need to search for balance with the Devine.
I need to learn to laugh more.. (The marijuana will help.)(Only 1-2 times a week in a social setting. One hit or two, to increase wit and humor.) My little social experiment.
Why no laughter when you outsmart another, why not laughter to empty a tragedy from you. Isn’t it only through laughter that we become one with the gods and thus can endure life and can overcome all the horror and waste and suffering here on earth.
Isn’t it through laughter we can stay human?
( I genuinely laughed hard today.. First time in a long time. A kid was skate boarding down a hill and looked like he knew what he was doing, he just forgot about the speed bump, lol. I laughed.. I felt alive..)
Everything is ordained by karma a thousand lifetimes ago, or perhaps even one. I need to see the beauty in it. I need to realize all I do is governed by the Devine.
I feel like I’m home here, I used to be here, I dont know if it was this island, but I have been here before. I saw myself long ago walking the shores.. It was quiet; all I could here was the powerful Pacific hitting the shore. Just like today, the people were gone and all that was left was the sound of the water.
I listened to my voice recordings today. Brief notes that I feel I need to remember. I believe they will save me and propel me to where I need to be in the long run, in life and in school.
It was a good hour, an hour of time that opened my eyes to what I need to do, to get to where I need to go. I need to stop forcing and complaining.
One moment brave, the next weak.. Strong on the surface, weak internal and vice versa. One moment Zen the next giving into desire. Nothing but opposites!! Yin and Yang. I need to search for balance with the Devine.
I need to learn to laugh more.. (The marijuana will help.)(Only 1-2 times a week in a social setting. One hit or two, to increase wit and humor.) My little social experiment.
Why no laughter when you outsmart another, why not laughter to empty a tragedy from you. Isn’t it only through laughter that we become one with the gods and thus can endure life and can overcome all the horror and waste and suffering here on earth.
Isn’t it through laughter we can stay human?
( I genuinely laughed hard today.. First time in a long time. A kid was skate boarding down a hill and looked like he knew what he was doing, he just forgot about the speed bump, lol. I laughed.. I felt alive..)
Everything is ordained by karma a thousand lifetimes ago, or perhaps even one. I need to see the beauty in it. I need to realize all I do is governed by the Devine.