eat the heart. it's filled with yummy peanut butter.
---
While I appreciate determination, asking me five times if we have red roses is not going to make them magically appear.
I understand that you're flush with the giddiness of manly youth but do you want to tell me why you are riding around the store on a Barbie scooter? No, really. Take your time.
Ma'am? I'm sorry, but I have not tried every food item in the store, so I cannot truthfully tell you what that tastes like. But it looks like someone puked in that jar.
We do not have the puppy dog cake.
I do not understand Mime.
I'm going to tell you that I'm going in back to look for it, but in reality I'm going to stand back there for a modest amount of time and then tell you we don't have it. :P
No, we're out of 18 year old virgins. We have none. Stop asking.
Yes. It is my fault you decided to wait until the 14th to buy a gift for your wife. Allow me to punish myself for this mistake by treating myself to the free candy in the break room.
Yes, it is cold outside. No, I can't do anything about it.
I am not psychic.
I do not have five arms, so you're going to have to give me a second. If you do not want to give a second, give me a hand. I'm certain they'll be able to re-attach it. Maybe.
Please refrain from speculating on my private life. It saves me the trouble of lying to you.
I do not understand Men or Women. Stop asking me if I think this would be a good gift. At this point, I don't care if you buy him/her rocks in a sock. You have already failed. You're buying your him/her a last minute whatever they have left gift. You are buying the cast-offs of disdain and badly packaged desperation.
While I appreciate determination, asking me five times if we have red roses is not going to make them magically appear.
I understand that you're flush with the giddiness of manly youth but do you want to tell me why you are riding around the store on a Barbie scooter? No, really. Take your time.
Ma'am? I'm sorry, but I have not tried every food item in the store, so I cannot truthfully tell you what that tastes like. But it looks like someone puked in that jar.
We do not have the puppy dog cake.
I do not understand Mime.
I'm going to tell you that I'm going in back to look for it, but in reality I'm going to stand back there for a modest amount of time and then tell you we don't have it. :P
No, we're out of 18 year old virgins. We have none. Stop asking.
Yes. It is my fault you decided to wait until the 14th to buy a gift for your wife. Allow me to punish myself for this mistake by treating myself to the free candy in the break room.
Yes, it is cold outside. No, I can't do anything about it.
I am not psychic.
I do not have five arms, so you're going to have to give me a second. If you do not want to give a second, give me a hand. I'm certain they'll be able to re-attach it. Maybe.
Please refrain from speculating on my private life. It saves me the trouble of lying to you.
I do not understand Men or Women. Stop asking me if I think this would be a good gift. At this point, I don't care if you buy him/her rocks in a sock. You have already failed. You're buying your him/her a last minute whatever they have left gift. You are buying the cast-offs of disdain and badly packaged desperation.