Hatemail Bag: Stuff White People Don't Like
Crazy Person Hatemail: Had to stop reading your latest full recap the second time you used "White" as an epithet. What's up with the anti-white racism? I know, I know, it's trendy. My nine year old kid already wants to know why movie bad-guys always look just like him - blonde hair and blue eyes.
Me, Too Wiped Out To Explain Why This is Retarded: Cry me a river, you bigot.
Crazy Person: Talk about projection. Fuck you too, dude. In spades.
Me, Possibly Not Making Great Choices, But Beyond Done: You know, it's hateful trash like you that give white people a bad name. I feel really sorry for your kid. Please stop bothering me.
Crazy Person: You defame people by skin color and call me a bigot? I make a point of not categorizing folks by race and that makes me hateful trash? Get some help, dude, seriously. That hostility can't be healthy.
So, in summation:
1) To call the established patriarchical structure "Old White Men" is in fact a hate crime.
2) Anti-white racism -- despite being a logical impossibility -- is not only "trendy" but prevalent. This results in such horrible traumas as reading the phrase "Old White Men" in your free entertainment...
3) ...And, worse, having to explain the painful truth to your blonde, blue-eyed male child that despite being automatically granted access to global wealth and authority on such a massively obvious scale that it's disgusting, nobody can protect him from that fact that blonde, blue-eyed people occasionally appear in films, and that in a fractional number of these cases well out of proportion to all fucking history, white people will sometimes be represented as the aggressor in these films.
4) Ignoring this inane shit -- or laughing out loud at it -- is a sign of unhealthy hostility.
5) That equating this with the struggles of actual fucking minorities is such a color-blind step in the right direction that you can claim with a straight face -- while emailing strangers racist bullshit for no reason from your K-Mart computer -- that you make a point of not categorizing "folks" by race.
Sometimes hatemail makes me wonder how I can be better. And sometimes, it makes me wonder how I can be worse. This one's inspiring indeed.
Me, Too Wiped Out To Explain Why This is Retarded: Cry me a river, you bigot.
Crazy Person: Talk about projection. Fuck you too, dude. In spades.
Me, Possibly Not Making Great Choices, But Beyond Done: You know, it's hateful trash like you that give white people a bad name. I feel really sorry for your kid. Please stop bothering me.
Crazy Person: You defame people by skin color and call me a bigot? I make a point of not categorizing folks by race and that makes me hateful trash? Get some help, dude, seriously. That hostility can't be healthy.
So, in summation:
1) To call the established patriarchical structure "Old White Men" is in fact a hate crime.
2) Anti-white racism -- despite being a logical impossibility -- is not only "trendy" but prevalent. This results in such horrible traumas as reading the phrase "Old White Men" in your free entertainment...
3) ...And, worse, having to explain the painful truth to your blonde, blue-eyed male child that despite being automatically granted access to global wealth and authority on such a massively obvious scale that it's disgusting, nobody can protect him from that fact that blonde, blue-eyed people occasionally appear in films, and that in a fractional number of these cases well out of proportion to all fucking history, white people will sometimes be represented as the aggressor in these films.
4) Ignoring this inane shit -- or laughing out loud at it -- is a sign of unhealthy hostility.
5) That equating this with the struggles of actual fucking minorities is such a color-blind step in the right direction that you can claim with a straight face -- while emailing strangers racist bullshit for no reason from your K-Mart computer -- that you make a point of not categorizing "folks" by race.
Sometimes hatemail makes me wonder how I can be better. And sometimes, it makes me wonder how I can be worse. This one's inspiring indeed.