Writing therapy
Using writing as a means to analyse and process emotions seemed to work before, so perhaps I shall try it once more.
Yesterday, while at the Mansion, in a most surprising turn of events, I managed to have a most civil and enlightening conversation with Dolohov of all people. This place astonishes me more every day. Regardless of my astonishment, it really was quite pleasant to talk to someone. It helped me deal with my anger, my displeasure, in a more responsible way. I must admit that finding myself angry enough to throw knives the day before for the first time in months had frightened me, so this was a welcome change. I don't like it when I get angry enough to do that, it makes me feel as if I am losing myself. To know that I apparently -can- be pushed to abandon all rational thought... And the conversation could not have come at a better time.
You see, I ventured into the Mansion earlier today, to collect some of my parchments I had left behind. I suppose I should be lucky no one understood them enough, given the nature of their contents. *is actually quite glad for her occasional habit of scribbling notes in Tengwar* However... the sight that greeted me was... surprising, to say the least. I know I have no right to be upset or anything such as that, but... well... the only thing I -can- say was that I was glad I dealt with it without getting angry. That I had regained most of my calm and collected demeanor.
But the truth is... and I shall not admit to it anywhere else but here... the truth is that it -did- hurt. Ever so slightly, but it did none the less. Some of Dolohov's words lead me to believe that perhaps I had judged in error, when I perceived Viktor to be a Sauron incarnate lying deceiver. But to see this? Not 24 hours after... *trails off*
I am glad to be rid of him. For someone who can say the things he said to me, to do an about-face this extreme in less than 48 hours... well, I suppose that quote is appropriate now... Deception thy name is Viktor Krum. I don't care who you are and what your background is, but you do -not- tell one witch that you love her the way he said it, send her home and then proceed to snog another one in less than 24 hours, unless deception and using them is foremost on your mind. Thank Eru for good men like Ron. *is actually rather hurt, but has taken lessons from Draco in how to hide such emotions behind a very cool and collected façade*
Yesterday, while at the Mansion, in a most surprising turn of events, I managed to have a most civil and enlightening conversation with Dolohov of all people. This place astonishes me more every day. Regardless of my astonishment, it really was quite pleasant to talk to someone. It helped me deal with my anger, my displeasure, in a more responsible way. I must admit that finding myself angry enough to throw knives the day before for the first time in months had frightened me, so this was a welcome change. I don't like it when I get angry enough to do that, it makes me feel as if I am losing myself. To know that I apparently -can- be pushed to abandon all rational thought... And the conversation could not have come at a better time.
You see, I ventured into the Mansion earlier today, to collect some of my parchments I had left behind. I suppose I should be lucky no one understood them enough, given the nature of their contents. *is actually quite glad for her occasional habit of scribbling notes in Tengwar* However... the sight that greeted me was... surprising, to say the least. I know I have no right to be upset or anything such as that, but... well... the only thing I -can- say was that I was glad I dealt with it without getting angry. That I had regained most of my calm and collected demeanor.
But the truth is... and I shall not admit to it anywhere else but here... the truth is that it -did- hurt. Ever so slightly, but it did none the less. Some of Dolohov's words lead me to believe that perhaps I had judged in error, when I perceived Viktor to be a Sauron incarnate lying deceiver. But to see this? Not 24 hours after... *trails off*
I am glad to be rid of him. For someone who can say the things he said to me, to do an about-face this extreme in less than 48 hours... well, I suppose that quote is appropriate now... Deception thy name is Viktor Krum. I don't care who you are and what your background is, but you do -not- tell one witch that you love her the way he said it, send her home and then proceed to snog another one in less than 24 hours, unless deception and using them is foremost on your mind. Thank Eru for good men like Ron. *is actually rather hurt, but has taken lessons from Draco in how to hide such emotions behind a very cool and collected façade*