Resucitada
It just occurred to me in the past week that I am sexually repressed. I read a book of writing by various sex workers, and it is probably the only book in the last few years that has had a truly powerful effect on me-the kind of book which (a) you can't put down and then (b) once you finish it, you go around seeing things and FEELING things in a completely new light. It's been a while.
It feels good, but scary. Because new possibilities have popped into my mind. Possibilities for a lifestyle that until now I would have (a) vehemently opposed on political grounds and (b) vehemently opposed on the grounds that I am enormously insecure.
It occurs to me that I am not a monogamist.
It occurs to me that without the fear that has kept me from addressing this subject, which, in fact, has kept me in denial in regards to this subject, I would be a lot happier either being polyamorous or in an open relationship.
It occurs to me I don't fully love and enjoy my own body. Still.
I experienced a new sensation after reading this book and considering a few things discussed within. It felt a bit like being in control of my body. And loving it. It felt rather powerful. It made me horny. It was lovely. And it was for me, MINE, not for you, not for any man or woman or other human being. Which I think it why it was so powerful. It felt real. It's also hard to describe.
I am going to start writing again. I miss my old life.
It feels good, but scary. Because new possibilities have popped into my mind. Possibilities for a lifestyle that until now I would have (a) vehemently opposed on political grounds and (b) vehemently opposed on the grounds that I am enormously insecure.
It occurs to me that I am not a monogamist.
It occurs to me that without the fear that has kept me from addressing this subject, which, in fact, has kept me in denial in regards to this subject, I would be a lot happier either being polyamorous or in an open relationship.
It occurs to me I don't fully love and enjoy my own body. Still.
I experienced a new sensation after reading this book and considering a few things discussed within. It felt a bit like being in control of my body. And loving it. It felt rather powerful. It made me horny. It was lovely. And it was for me, MINE, not for you, not for any man or woman or other human being. Which I think it why it was so powerful. It felt real. It's also hard to describe.
I am going to start writing again. I miss my old life.